# Do you use the toilet in front of your partner? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 10, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729 "2010-10-10T23:15:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/21 "2010-10-11T14:25:01Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > **a35362** , I believe the story you are thinking of is _The Moving Finger_, which, if memory serves, is from the collection _Nightmares and Dreamscapes_. That’s the story. I think the finger comes out of the sink drain, though - not the toilet. :goes to look it up: [It’s both!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moving_Finger_(short_story)) ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/22 "2010-10-11T14:31:24Z")
Gross, no. My girlfriend would ideally like me to leave the house, let alone the room, when she takes a dump. She also can’t do it in a public place such as work. She’s a classic anal retentive. I’m not quite that weird, but do like ‘toilet-time’ to be ‘me-time’. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/23 "2010-10-11T14:51:06Z")
I don’t do either #1 or #2 in front of my partner. My bladder is a little shy, and I hate having anyone in the bathroom when I’m busy. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/24 "2010-10-11T14:56:11Z")
I have, but I don’t care to. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/25 "2010-10-11T14:59:34Z")
I’ve had partners where we’d do so (#1 anyway, I don’t think I’ve done #2 in front of anyone) but my wife is firmly in the “Hell no” camp and so that’s how we run things. I think the closest we’ve come is a quick urination while the other person is in the shower with the curtains drawn. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/26 "2010-10-11T15:01:50Z")
Pee, yes, although it’s more that we don’t close the bathroom door. We have more than one bathroom, so we’d probably use an unoccupied one, but we don’t bother with doors to pee. Never poop, doors are closed. We also never fart in front of each other. Married almost 10 years now. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/27 "2010-10-11T15:23:36Z")
After 20 years and three kids, we don’t care anymore. The kids walk in on both of us too. We are a household without any privacy. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/28 "2010-10-11T15:34:56Z")
I voted “no” although it’s not so much a “gross!” thing as … I dunno, wanting to maintain some shred of mystery? Though, considering the sex we have, that’s kind of a funny concept. Anyway, the furthest we’ll go is have a quick pee while the other one is in the shower. (Our bathroom allows you to flush without scalding or freezing whoever’s in the shower, luckily.) I also wait at the office bathroom till everyone else is gone before I poop. I’ve even taken the stairs to a different floor’s restroom to avoid having to poop with someone else in the bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/29 "2010-10-11T15:56:54Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > > [@norinew](#): > > > > **a35362** , I believe the story you are thinking of is _The Moving Finger_, which, if memory serves, is from the collection _Nightmares and Dreamscapes_. > > That’s the story. I think the finger comes out of the sink drain, though - not the toilet. > > :goes to look it up: > > [It’s both!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moving_Finger_(short_story)) Ah, yes. I used to subscribe to _The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction_, or _F&SF_, back in the day. That was a while ago! ---
**Author:** ![cuberdon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/45deac/32.png) [@cuberdon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuberdon)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/30 "2010-10-11T15:59:22Z")
I do and he doesn’t seem to care in the slightest. When he’s doing #2 he usually closes the door due to the smell factor. I think he sort of would prefer some privacy, but he doesn’t insist, and besides cat #1 seems to think that the bathroom is the Official Cat Petting Zone anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/31 "2010-10-11T16:10:09Z")
I don’t, but my spouse has almost zero sense of modesty. It only bothers me in the sense that I sometimes walk into the area while she’s on the throne and feel like I’m intruding on her privacy. Kinda silly, since she doesn’t feel the need for privacy. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/32 "2010-10-11T18:56:14Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Nope; not number one or number two. We prefer to leave a bit of mystery. 🙂 > > There is, however, farting in front of each other. Lots and lots of farting. What she said. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/33 "2010-10-11T18:59:55Z")
#1 but not #2. Since we’re both male, sometimes #1 at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/34 "2010-10-11T19:05:21Z")
No, we don’t. And with little kids, I’ve learned to lock the door for privacy. My wife gets visitors all the time when she’s on the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/35 "2010-10-11T19:26:54Z")
I wouldn’t be surprised if my wife (got married two days ago) asked me to build an entire addition for her, well-removed from the master suite, with an emphasis on privacy, so she could have her own full bath, dressing area and girly zone. In lieu of that, the entire master suite (bedroom/bath) is for her when she says so. She wants me to have my privacy, and vice versa. She can strut around naked and me, too. She is fit/attractive and just wants to be the girliest girl I can imagine. And I am all for it. (She is 39 and I am 43, for what that’s worth) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/36 "2010-10-11T20:19:27Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > #1 but not #2. Since we’re both male, sometimes #1 at the same time. When I was in high school, my best friend and I dated two boys who were cousins. The boys told us that when they were little, they would pee together, thereby making them “pee brothers”. We told them we were “shit sisters”. 🙂 We weren’t _really_, you know… ---
**Author:** ![Bloody\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bloody\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloody_L)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/37 "2010-10-11T20:43:32Z")
Absolutely not. And it really, really bothers me. My boyfriend teases me all the time about how it makes me uncomfortable. His bathroom door doesnt have a lock so when he’s being a total jerk (he thinks its hilarious) he’ll open the door while I’m in there just to freak me out. It really upsets me and one night I couldn’t use the restroom for 3 hours because everytime I tried he’d burst open the door. I was so mad that when he got bored and stopped, I still didn’t trust him and was too worried to go so I held it in till he went to sleep. I almost broke up with him the next day. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/38 "2010-10-11T20:50:32Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > I wouldn’t be surprised if my wife (got married two days ago) asked me to build an entire addition for her, well-removed from the master suite, with an emphasis on privacy, so she could have her own full bath, dressing area and girly zone. > > In lieu of that, the entire master suite (bedroom/bath) is for her when she says so. She wants me to have my privacy, and vice versa. > > She can strut around naked and me, too. She is fit/attractive and just wants to be the girliest girl I can imagine. And I am all for it. > > (She is 39 and I am 43, for what that’s worth) Mazeltov! (I beat you by two days, so technically, I’ve been married twice as long as you and can give you all sorts of condescending marital advice! :D) ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/39 "2010-10-11T20:54:53Z")
Wow, I’m surprised at how many people have issues with this. We won’t follow one another in there or anything but if I’m brushing my teeth and he has to go or if he is in the shower and I have to go or whatever it isn’t an issue at all. This is a man who has held my hair back for me while I barfed. I’ve cleaned his back hair out of the shower drain. We occasionally have sex while I’m on my period. Seriously, we’ve done _way_ grosser things than being in the same room together while one of us makes. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729/40 "2010-10-11T21:04:42Z")
After you see a woman give birth, there isn’t any mystery left. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-the-toilet-in-front-of-your-partner/556729.md?page=3)