# Do you use your smartphone while pooping? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038 "2011-04-28T15:40:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/21 "2011-04-28T17:51:45Z")
Well, I had to choose “Other” because I have a plain old dumb phone. But I use my Nook in the bathroom _all_ the time, and even use it to surf the web while in there sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/22 "2011-04-28T17:53:10Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Those of you that read/surf, where do you put your device/book/magazine when you’re finishing up? I have no flat surfaces in my bathroom other than the floor. I have a sink right next to the toilet with a countertop surface. Phone goes right there. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/23 "2011-04-28T17:54:22Z")
I gotta get me one of them there Fartphones. Gotta see if multitasking on the shitter is all it’s cracked up to be. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/24 "2011-04-28T18:10:11Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I gotta get me one of them there Fartphones. You might want to work your way up to that. Start with a craptop. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/25 "2011-04-28T18:14:36Z")
I’ve been known to take my iPad, and even my laptop, in there with me. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/26 "2011-04-28T18:20:36Z")
I’ve never, ever been a bathroom reader. When I go to the bathroom, there’s one thing that I concentrate on, having said that, a few weeks back, started playing angry birds while taking a dump. Occasionally, if I get stuck on a level, I’ll pull up twitter and see what Tosh and Conan have been tweeting over the past few days, but that’s about it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/27 "2011-04-28T18:22:24Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Occasionally, if I get stuck on a level, Colace works great for that. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/28 "2011-04-28T18:29:13Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Angry Birds helps me move things along. Are we still talking about smart phone apps? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/29 "2011-04-28T18:33:28Z")
I wonder what tune Shazam would identify bathroom noises as? ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/30 "2011-04-28T18:50:33Z")
Other: if I’m carrying my phone around the house because I’m expecting a call, I’ll take it in the can. Otherwise, I’ll read something else. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/31 "2011-04-28T18:52:22Z")
> [@vix](#): > > Other: if I’m carrying my phone around the house because I’m expecting a call, I’ll take it in the can. I’ll do that. Except it’s my land line. ---
**Author:** ![mauxlicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc8723/32.png) [@mauxlicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mauxlicious)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/32 "2011-04-28T18:56:05Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I wonder what tune Shazam would identify bathroom noises as? Anything by Justin Bieber. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/33 "2011-04-28T19:03:29Z")
I’m an in ‘n’ out in three minutes kinda guy. No yakkin’ in the express lane. ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/34 "2011-04-28T19:13:03Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Do I have to spell it out for you? > > Dropping the kids off at the pool. Parking my breakfast. Birthing a brown baby. Shooting some craps. Logging out. Heaving a Havana. Growing a tail. Feeding the fish. Downloading some brownware. Losing a few pounds. Sending cigars back to Cuba. Making butt coffee. Laying some cable. > > Seriously, I’m expected to do all that AND read Jane Eyre? I think not. I was trying to make a lame joke about the “at hand” part, but it sank. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/35 "2011-04-28T19:23:20Z")
You don’t have to read Jane Eyre in the toilet. George Carlin books (or other potty-mouthed comics–snerk) make for great shiterature. Pick it up for a couple minutes, read a couple pages, come back to it later. My aunt and uncle had a huge collection of crossword puzzles they’d do in the john back in the days before smartphones. I can poop if I’m just thinking about poop, but it’s much easier and more enjoyable when I’m reading something else. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/36 "2011-04-28T19:35:54Z")
Part of the problem for me is I don’t have anywhere to put anything. The only thing next to my toilet is my sink, which doesn’t have a counter, so there’s no room to set a book. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/37 "2011-04-28T19:38:28Z")
What? I can’t vote for both “I don’t have a smartphone” AND “I don’t poop cuz I’m a girl?” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/38 "2011-04-28T19:38:42Z")
How do you think I’ve gotten so far in Angry Birds? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/39 "2011-04-28T19:39:58Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Part of the problem for me is I don’t have anywhere to put anything. The only thing next to my toilet is my sink, which doesn’t have a counter, so there’s no room to set a book. Lap? Or you mean after? 'Cause the floor works well for that? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038/40 "2011-04-28T19:45:43Z")
> [@jacobsta811](#): > > I voted no, but you need an option for: I think people who sit on the toilet but aren’t actively crapping are weird - its only a two minute max thing for me, if I can’t go I get up and come back later. So people who have time to read, etc, I don’t get. What the heck is up with people who take 20 minutes or more? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-use-your-smartphone-while-pooping/580038.md?page=3)