# Do you want to smack the sh\_t out of somebody? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388 "2006-11-14T15:56:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/41 "2006-11-15T19:05:35Z")
Let’s see: -Asshats that buy a house with large, old trees (at least 40-60 year old oaks), then cut them down because they don’t like raking leaves! You moved here from Staten Island because it was nicer and more rustic! Keep the damn trees in your yard and it’ss stay that way! -The same asshats with a pimp slap for buying houses on 50x100 lots, then filing for variances to demolish the current house and build a 40x90 house in its wake. Honestly, why would you build a 3700 square foot house on a 5000 square foot lot?! Then you can’t believe the nieghbors are causing a fuss about you building a 4-6 bedroom, 2-story home where a 2 bdrm ranch was before. AS A SUMMER HOME, because you can rent it out to the college kids during the rest of the year! ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/42 "2006-11-15T22:52:10Z")
The geeks who created that pile of crap software called Nikon View, which slows down, freezes up, or closes itself with alarming irregularity. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2006, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/43 "2006-11-15T23:25:23Z")
My goddamn dog! She just ate half of the casserole I was about to put in the oven!!! Actually, I did hit her. Her name is Lucy, short for Lucifer. Aagghh!!! We’re gonna eat it anyway. What’re ya gonna do? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2006, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/44 "2006-11-16T00:20:14Z")
[QUOTE=Rigamarole] I don’t want to slap anyone, I’m a pacifist. [/QUOTE] Tell ya what-I’ll do your slappin for ya. Advice to the idjit at the drive-up bank window-when the teller gives you the envelope/receipt/dog biscuit-toss it on the seat and move your ass! Rearranging your purse/hair/ben-wa balls is not to be done while others are waiting. Getouttathefugginway!! ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2006, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/45 "2006-11-16T00:40:09Z")
There’s a girl in my Civil Procedure class. She seems like a nice person, but she makes such ultra-inane comments, and so frequently, that at this point every time she opens her mouth I want to hit her with a brick. Her comments do not relate to any sort of factual or conceptual misunderstanding of the material (I can listen to “dumb” questions along these lines all day without annoyance.) She asks purely inane worthless absurd digressive questions, and my professor, who is quite prone to digression all on his own, will go blah blah blah for 15 minutes when he should be teaching us something about, oh, say, Civil Procedure. example: We were discussing the contingency fee system. She asks, “but, but, that’s so risky, how am I going to feed my kids!?” (in a tone of extreme distress like she doesn’t have 3 years to figure her way out of this little conundrum). Professor goes blah blah don’t-fret-cakes and there goes another 10 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. She asks a question along these lines at least once per 2 hour class. Yeah. I hate that class, but I hate Inane Girl most of all. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2006, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/46 "2006-11-16T01:07:38Z")
Myself, for moping. I shouldn’t be doing that anymore. ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2006, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/47 "2006-11-16T02:27:35Z")
My roommate (thankfully not one who shares a bedroom, just a common room) who insists on having loud conversations in his room at around midnight and leaving his door open so nobody else can sleep. Also for occasionally bursting into loud song, again, with door open. ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2006, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/48 "2006-11-16T02:28:51Z")
Oh, and idiot guy who obviously doesn’t pay attention in lecture, then holds up the class for 5-10 minutes _every day_ with stupid questions. In a 150-person lecture. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2006, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/49 "2006-11-16T05:35:15Z")
My niece. Mom is dying. We, as a family, need to do everything we can to make her happy for whatever time we have left with her. We don’t need your sorry-assed, bitchy drama queen bullshit. It’s not about you. It’s about her. Shut the fuck up. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2006, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/50 "2006-11-16T06:10:01Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] So I head over to Barnes & Noble to have a coffee and look over the magazines on a busy Saturday morning. Now I know it ain’t a library but most people hanging around the magazines on the benches are a quiet bunch and if they do talk to someone it’s in a polite hushed voice. At least thats what the dozen or so of us were doing. Until cell-phone guy starts a business call and talks in “full-on presentation voice” and paces back and forth, up and down the magazine rack. SHUT THE HELL UP!!! There’s over a dozen of us giving you dirty looks and I’m about to punch you in the balls you moron! Get a clue! [/QUOTE] I thought this guy (sometimes gal…obviously a cross-dresser) mostly hung out in airport lounges. [QUOTE=Anne Neville] Car manufacturers, for not picking one side for the gas cap for all cars and sticking with it. I wouldn’t care which side it was, just make them all the same. [/QUOTE] Seriously, you’d think this would be some kind of standard, but no. [QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] I would like to slap a certain boy who can’t make up his friggin’ mind already. Actually, he gets two hits. Then, I would like to slap myself for giving a shit about said boy. [/QUOTE] Give the lad three swacks, and then yourself a light pinch on the ear. Then give me a call; I can appreciate an intelligent, literate, beautiful young lady without waffling about. 😉 As for me; I want to give all ground safety people who refer to the profusion of various ground safety mechanicms and devices collectively as “widgets”, and then make big drama queen episodes about how we need to have all of our widgets gingfackling our dohickeys. If you’re going to get all up in arms about the safety of our watchamacallits you might at least invest the effort into being able to distinguish between a thingamajig and a whatdohoodle. And don’t expect me to take you seriously when you’re asking about the torque requirements on the hoodoowhat. You do your job–whatever that may be–and let me do mine, which is making sure that the widget doesn’t intrude on the jimbobber and cause it to crafanklewankle into the oodooloop. (Seriously, I don’t know where these people even come up with these terms.) Stranger ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2006, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/51 "2006-11-16T14:19:36Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] Mom is dying. [/QUOTE] Sorry to hear about your mom. Best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/52 "2006-11-21T18:45:41Z")
Sorry to bring in more politics, but there’s a politician I’d really like to smack right now. [Representative Charles Rangel](http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2006/11/21/MNG0NMGPI81.DTL), Democrat from New York. We get the point- the war in Iraq is bad. That’s why so many of us voted for Democrats. We don’t need you getting everybody hysterical about the possibility of a draft. WE GET IT. Now STFU. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/53 "2006-11-21T18:47:19Z")
K-Fed. Do I get the chance now? ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/54 "2006-11-21T21:58:13Z")
OJ Simpson, and anyone who thought, even for a second, that having him write a book and appear on TV was anything other than a really bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![Adoptamom\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/55 "2006-11-21T22:43:01Z")
My \*itch sister in law who has her head so far up her ass that she puts lipstick on the wrong set of lips! My 15 year old son ran away from home last Thursday night. Totally out of character for him, not a street smart kid, and he was on emotional overload. My 25 year old daughter called both of my brothers to let them know he was gone. One brother jumps in his car to come from an hour and a half away to help look for him. The other brother (local) tells her to call him if there is anything he can do. His \*&&^\*ing wife calls back 10 minutes later and tells my daughter that she won’t help until **I** call her because she’s still not speaking to me since I had her childrens Christmas gifts delivered from Amazon last year instead of personally delivering them. You stupid CUNT - I was trying to avoid **YOU** by having your kids gifts delivered. Get a clue - no one in our family likes you because of shit just like this. You are so far off of my radar screen that I hadn’t even realized you weren’t talking to me for the past year - ain’t that a freaking hoot? (My son returned home 3 hours later - after he’d had a chance to cool off) ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2006, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388/56 "2006-11-21T23:13:40Z")
{{{{ **Adoptamom\_II** }}}} Glad to hear that things turned out OK with your son in the end. > [@Adoptamom\_II](#): > > she’s still not speaking to me since I had her childrens Christmas gifts delivered from Amazon last year instead of personally delivering them. > > You stupid CUNT - I was trying to avoid YOU by having your kids gifts delivered. Get a clue - no one in our family likes you because of shit just like this. People who fly off the handle about perceived slights like this should know- that sort of behavior makes everyone feel like we’re walking on eggshells when we’re around you, so it makes us prefer to avoid you. Don’t be so damn sensitive, don’t look for signs that people don’t like you in every tiny little thing they do, and maybe then you’ll find that people actually want to talk to you and spend time with you. Mr. Neville has an aunt who has some tendencies in this direction, so I feel your pain there… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-want-to-smack-the-sh_t-out-of-somebody/380388.md?page=2)