# Do you wipe sitting down or standing up? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 21, 2017, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887 "2017-04-21T00:40:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/41 "2017-04-21T13:39:59Z")
When I have a gut bug there’s not much to wipe. It all just shoots out into the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/42 "2017-04-21T13:48:45Z")
But again: you sitters are arguing pros and cons and I’m telling you I tried my hardest to do it your way at least once, to give this supposedly better technique a fair chance…and I simply could not do it. It’s not that I couldn’t _bring_ myself to do it but that I could not physically accomplish the action. Whatever “cons” you may list about standing up and wiping, a big “pro” is that my butt actually gets wiped! ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/43 "2017-04-21T13:48:48Z")
Sitter-downer, between the legger checking in. Found the likelihood of unintentional fecal contamination of the wiping hand us lower than the lean and attack frrom the side. > [@jtur88](#): > > Not applicable. I use whatever bidet-like device is available at hand, which can be variable when away from home. At home, I sit. > > Seriously – if you had poop on any other part of your body, would you just wipe at it with a little piece of dry paper and say that’s good enough? Ok, I’m going to let you all in on my little secret to getting everything nice and clean. I do not have a bidet attachment, discovered this after I guilted myself out of using moist wipes: A little dab of liquid hand soap right on target immediately before the action takes place. Non-stick surface to assist with the first swipe, plus a little lubrication to reduce irritation if it’s one if those special 23-wipe occasions. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/44 "2017-04-21T14:10:18Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > But again: you sitters are arguing pros and cons and I’m telling you I tried my hardest to do it your way at least once, to give this supposedly better technique a fair chance…and I simply could not do it. It’s not that I couldn’t _bring_ myself to do it but that I could not physically accomplish the action. Whatever “cons” you may list about standing up and wiping, a big “pro” is that my butt actually gets wiped! Right now, I am sitting in a normal chair, fully dressed. If I lean forward slightly and reach around behind me, I can reach any part of my anatomy I’d need to (if my pants weren’t in the way). Thus I conclude that anyone _who has fairly long arms and is reasonably limber_ should have no trouble wiping while sitting (but there might be a problem if you don’t fit that description). ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/45 "2017-04-21T14:20:43Z")
I think I have pretty average length arms, but I’m not sure. Limber, I am not: even as a kid I had trouble sitting “Indian style” or touching my toes. But before someone envisions Jabba the Hut, I should note that I am still pretty good at tennis in my 40s. My son is on the high school tennis team and I consistently beat him. Last summer, I played the number three player on his team and lost, but I beat the number four player. A strong first serve is a big part of my game (although my second serve is an Achilles’ heel), so my arms (actually, my right arm — but that’s the same one we are talking about here) are long and loose enough for that at least. I dunno. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/46 "2017-04-21T14:50:39Z")
Elective colostomy is looking better and better. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/47 "2017-04-21T15:26:25Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I’m in the camp of ‘it never occurred to me that anyone did it any other way’ - that is, sitting. > > Don’t your butt cheeks close up when you stand? Mine do, and that makes it difficult to access the aperture involved. Whereas leaning to one side, the buns offer up their target like the petals of a flower opening to dawn. And of course one reaches around from the side, so as to preserve the danglies from possible cross-contamination. Except for the dangly part, what he said. I’m shocked to hear that people stand. Isn’t that something like eating the creme out of an Oreo without separating the cookies? ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/48 "2017-04-21T15:35:49Z")
Maybe we standers know how to stand up without clenching our butt cheeks tightly? ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/49 "2017-04-21T15:42:53Z")
Ugh, today when I edit to add something it just eats the part I add. I can’t speak for other standers, but I am not standing bolt upright like a soldier at attention. More like someone straddling a couple rocks that give dry spots to stand in a creek. Speaking of which, have you sitters never been out on a hike or a camping trip in the woods where you had nowhere to sit? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/50 "2017-04-21T15:44:20Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Don’t your butt cheeks close up when you stand? If you put your left foot on the seat, no, rather the opposite. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/51 "2017-04-21T15:45:13Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > Maybe we standers know how to stand up without clenching our butt cheeks tightly? Apparently you do. Nonetheless, **YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG AND MUST CHANGE IMMEDIATELY!!!** This is America, dammit. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/52 "2017-04-21T16:51:58Z")
Woman, sitter, between the legs. Is this thread about poop, pee, or both? I dunno about other ladies, but when I pee, it splashes around my crotchular region. If I stood up before I wiped, it would run down my legs. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/53 "2017-04-21T17:18:56Z")
Stander, here. And a question for my fellow standers: Did it ever seem like a really bad design the way those automatic flush toilets work? They would always flush before I had a chance to wipe, and then I was left trying to figure out how to make it flush a second time, after wiping and depositing. Seems like the industry assumes everyone sits. In the interest of science, I did the sit and wipe thing after one of the earlier threads. I was surprised that it wasn’t very difficult at all. But as for why people don’t realize other folks do things differently-- well, how often do you watch someone poop? For me, that would be approximately never. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/54 "2017-04-21T17:25:05Z")
I’m just glad we finally have a non-political thread ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/55 "2017-04-21T17:32:06Z")
Of course, there is [also this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKkryfdtMNQ) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/56 "2017-04-21T17:50:26Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > But as for why people don’t realize other folks do things differently-- well, how often do you watch someone poop? For me, that would be approximately never. Because it might be a transgender person sitting down to pee, and then the terrorists have won. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/57 "2017-04-21T17:51:10Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > I can’t speak for other standers, but I am not standing bolt upright like a soldier at attention. More like someone straddling a couple rocks that give dry spots to stand in a creek. Speaking of which, have you sitters never been out on a hike or a camping trip in the woods where you had nowhere to sit? Yeah, I sort of built something out of rocks last time. Actually, what I usually do in the wilderness is put my feet close to a small tree, grip the trunk, and stretch way back, getting my hindquarters as far from my feet as possible. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/58 "2017-04-21T17:58:15Z")
Well, what did you _think_ rock climbing is about? It is not an accident that the double-loop sling used in rappelling is called a “diaper”. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/59 "2017-04-21T18:31:05Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I’m just glad we finally have a non-political thread Not so fast there… > [@Shodan](#): > > Because it might be a transgender person sitting down to pee, and then the terrorists have won. > > Regards, > Shodan ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887/60 "2017-04-21T18:38:23Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > …the buns offer up their target like the petals of a flower opening to dawn. Beautiful! You have the soul of a poet, **Shodan.** 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-wipe-sitting-down-or-standing-up/784887.md?page=4)