# Do you/would you share your work performance review with your spouse? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2007, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858 "2007-12-05T00:09:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/1 "2007-12-05T00:09:13Z")
Two questions: \*\*1. Do you share the contents of your performance review from work with your spouse? If yes do you do so verbally or do you actually take home a copy to show them? 1. If not, how would you take a request from your spouse that you share the contents of your performance review with him/her? What if they asked to see it?\*\* Assume for the sake of this discussion that you and your spouse do not work at the same place, and your spouse has no reason other than curiousity for asking (meaning they don’t work in HR themselves, they aren’t in business school or whatever). ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/2 "2007-12-05T00:17:32Z")
I would definitely share the results with my husband, and he’d share the results with me. It wouldn’t be considered anything out of the ordinary to ask, and I’ve shared the results of my last few reviews just as a matter of ‘‘what I did today’’ conversation at the end of the day. If I did really well I’d be expecting accolades, and if I sucked I’d be expecting commiseration! Nothing to lose either way. ETA: This is verbal sharing. If I was really proud of the review, I’d probably make him read it. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/3 "2007-12-05T00:17:51Z")
Given that my spouse used to be my boss (several jobs and industries ago), there’s nothing on there that she wouldn’t already be aware of from her own (astonishingly impartial) JPRs from back then. I’d let her read it if she wants, but she usually just asks for a synopsis. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/4 "2007-12-05T00:20:08Z")
I used to verbally share the results with my roommate at the time, who also worked in that same office. She did the same with me. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/5 "2007-12-05T00:25:22Z")
I’d share the results with my girlfriend, though I might keep the amount of any raises to myself, lest she start on a shopping list. 😉 And if she wanted to see my performance reviews, I don’t see why I’d balk at the request. Better she read them than write them… :o ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/6 "2007-12-05T00:32:24Z")
Sure. I share all my work stuff with my husband, whether he wants to hear about it or not. Especially if it’s something that’s going to make me cranky and snappish while I do the slow burn. Or something that leads to a raise (hurray! lets go out and celebrate and spend money we’ll have coming later!) ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/7 "2007-12-05T00:50:40Z")
Yep, we always talk about work and evaluations are part of work. If there were areas that we received less than optimal scores, we discuss ways to improve. Sometimes I think we talk about work too much…but that’s another thread. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/8 "2007-12-05T14:44:23Z")
I’d be completely happy with “fully satisfactories” across the board, as my job has little potential for bonuses/raises/promotions - certainly not based on perf reviews. Fully sats are all I need/want to keep the paychecks coming - which is all I want/expect out of work. And I’m generally fortunate enough to get well above fully sats with little or no effort beyond showing up and doing the work assigned to me. So when I get my perf review, I’ll tell my wife that I can expect to keep getting paychecks for the next 6 months. Which is good. 🆒 The review itself, with numerical ratings in various caregories, it total bullshit, so she (nor I) has no interest in the specifics. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/9 "2007-12-05T15:25:57Z")
Yes, we both share the details of our reviews with each other (or, rather I did, when I was working!) I take a copy home, but that’s more for my records than to share with him. If there’s anything particularly interesting (such as a nice comment from my supervisor or something) I’ll probably give it to him to read, but I don’t expect him to go through the whole thing. Salary increases, bonus amounts, etc are all discussed here. There just isn’t any reason not to. > [@Dinsdale](#): > > The review itself, with numerical ratings in various caregories, it total bullshit, so she (nor I) has no interest in the specifics. At my old job a few years back, the rating scale for each component of the review was on a 1-5 scale, something along the lines of 1- unsatisfactory, 2- needs improvement, 3 - satisfactory, 4- excellent, 5 - outstanding. To get a better than average raise, they had some “minimum number” of 4’s or 5’s that had to be attained. Typically, the company didn’t want to give raises, and this one year they were hemorrhaging money and employees due to ridiculously bad management decisions, so pretty much everyone got 3’s across the board. When someone asked a coworker how his review went, he said "They gave me this; ```auto [] [[| |]] ``` Ok… in case that isn’t clear, that’s a middle finger. You know, the third one…! ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/10 "2007-12-05T15:44:16Z")
No. I almost never discuss work outside of work. I refuse to let work occupy my brain unless I’m at work; my cache is dumped the second I walk out the door. Sorry, work, you get 40 hours of my time a week and you’re not getting one second more! Having said that, I always get good reviews and raises, so there’s nothing to talk about, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/11 "2007-12-05T15:46:13Z")
Always. I shared all reviews with my wife, whether they come from administration or the students. She finds them…amusing. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/12 "2007-12-05T15:47:40Z")
I don’t have a spouse but in Imaginary Land…performance reviews aren’t a huge deal here and raises are minimal, and a glowing review gets you maybe one percentage point more. I would probably mention it as something that happened that day, and bitch/glow about something annoying/extra good about it, but that’s all. Of course that’s given that everything goes smoothly on my current job and my boss doesn’t have much bad to say about me. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/13 "2007-12-05T15:47:53Z")
[QUOTE=mnemosyne] At my old job a few years back, the rating scale for each component of the review was on a 1-5 scale, something along the lines of 1- unsatisfactory, 2- needs improvement, 3 - satisfactory, 4- excellent, 5 - outstanding. [/QUOTE] Yeah, ours is pretty similar, tho it has no effect on raises, only potential bonuses - which are generally pretty miniscule. At least not worth it to me to put forth any special effort in the hopes of getting one. If you get all 5s you are guaranteed a bonus, 4s and 3s only give you the possibility of one. And (loosely) your cumulative score is no higher than your lowest individual rating. So what a surprise that nearly everyone gets all 5s, with one or two 4s to drop them out of the mandatory bonus category! In short, they give the bonuses to whomever they want. Like I said, I’ll take any bonuses they give me, but I’m completely satisfied if they just stay outta my hair and keep the paychecks coming. What is really funny is that when I started 20 years ago, they had a 5 point scale. Then at some point they went to a pass/fail system. Now, they just rolled out a new and vastly improved system. Guess what, the 5 points are back! ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/14 "2007-12-05T15:53:56Z")
I always tell my husband about the results, and I usually call him right away to tell him about the associated pay raise. He’s never asked to see the paper version, and I can’t imagine why he’d want to, but he’s welcome to see it if he wants. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/15 "2007-12-05T15:59:43Z")
Jesus, if you don’t talk about how your WORK REVIEW went with your spouse, what the hell do you talk about? “Honey, how did work go today?” “None of your business.” “I love you.” “Love you, too.” ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/16 "2007-12-05T15:59:55Z")
No. I talk about work outside of work as little as possible, unless something amusing happened there (like if I have a you-won’t-believe-what-those-stupid-users-did-today type of story). I might complain about the performance appraisal process or tell Mr. Neville if something amusing showed up on my appraisal (like the time my appraisal said I was “proactive”, and he asked if they thought I was like [Poochie](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Itchy_&_Scratchy_&_Poochie_Show)), but other than that I wouldn’t talk about it with him. If he wanted to see mine, I would wonder why on earth he would be interested. He finds out the salary and bonuses stuff by checking the bank statements, so he wouldn’t need to see it for that. Why would he be interested in anything else in it? ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/17 "2007-12-05T16:14:26Z")
Is it odd that I find these to be odd questions? Of course my husband and I share our performance reviews with one another. We work at different places, and since we both spend so much time at those places, they are both a large percentage of our conversation topic. Because I happen to be exceedingly anal-retentive about organisation at work, I leave the hard copy at work in a file, and just tell my husband verbally, but he brings his home so I can read it. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/18 "2007-12-05T16:20:53Z")
**Do you/would you share your work performance review with your spouse? Do you/Would You with a mouse?** Sorry. Couldn’t/Wouldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/19 "2007-12-05T16:24:38Z")
I do. A large part of my pay is based on my quarterly bonus which includes performance reviews. I don’t go into great detail as he could care less. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2007, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858/20 "2007-12-05T16:24:40Z")
I don’t have a spouse, but I share that sort of information with my boyfriend. I don’t feel that it’s a big secret, and I like telling him about what’s been happening to me at work. I can’t see any reason _not_ to share that sort of information, really. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-you-would-you-share-your-work-performance-review-with-your-spouse/428858.md?page=2)