# Do zombies poop? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450 "2004-03-25T22:49:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TheAndyChrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d2c977/32.png) [@TheAndyChrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheAndyChrist)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/1 "2004-03-25T22:49:48Z")
I mean - all those precious tasty brains have to go _somewhere_ right? ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/2 "2004-03-26T00:06:46Z")
In a manner of speaking. “Day Of The Dead” establishes that zombies’ digestive systems are pretty much nonfunctional, just like most of the major organs. Therefore, they do not digest their food. Therefore, eventually, assuming they get plenty to eat, they will eventually burst… a process hastened, no doubt, by their own decay. And even that prolly won’t stop 'em… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/3 "2004-03-26T00:25:35Z")
> [@](#): > > Do zombies poop? \ Does the Pope scream for brains in the woods? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/4 "2004-03-26T01:00:35Z")
It should be noted that the while Romero zombies, who are human-eaters, don’t eat for nourishment; the _Return of the Living Dead_ series zombies, who only eat brains, _do_ seem to gain something from brain eating. The zombies themselves (!) say that it helps “ease the pain of being dead,” but research has shown that they’re actually draining “electrons” from the brain tissue for energy. This not only leads to the facinating possibility that brain-eating zombies might be capable of _starving to death_, but also that some portion of their digestive system might still be functioning, and might be expelling their digested “food.” Of course, brain-eating zombies are known to be much more rotten than Romero zombies…to the point of being little more than walking skeletons. It’s possible that all their tissues have become able to extract energy from brains, and that their digestive systems remain dormant and unnecessary. Going through the motions of “eating” brains might just be an ingrained habit from life. ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/5 "2004-03-26T01:18:09Z")
Mmmm … Brains … (Well, _somebody_ had to be the first, right?) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/6 "2004-03-26T01:56:23Z")
You know what they say. You never buy brains, you just rent them. ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/7 "2004-03-26T03:10:26Z")
Well I guess since some people can be said to have shit for brains, some zombies could be said to have brains for shit. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/8 "2004-03-26T03:37:55Z")
They poop their brains out, I’ll tell you whut. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/9 "2004-03-26T03:49:30Z")
“Pee-yoooo, what died in here?” “Oh, it’s you, Joe.” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/10 "2004-03-26T04:08:46Z")
Would brains be considered Atkins? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/11 "2004-03-26T04:30:17Z")
While we are on the subject, do Mummies poop? ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/12 "2004-03-26T04:37:57Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > While we are on the subject, do Mummies poop? Well they’d have plenty to wipe with, anyway! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/13 "2004-03-26T04:56:24Z")
Good point, but I don’t think mummies do actually poop. After all, they are walking around stiff arm/leg going " Mmmmmaaah…Raaaaaah" Constipation most definately. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/14 "2004-03-26T05:11:16Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Going through the motions of “eating” brains might just be an ingrained habit from life. If they had a habit of eating people’s brains when they were alive, wouldn’t they have died from Creutzfeldt- Jacob? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/15 "2004-03-26T21:12:18Z")
Hey, what about Vampires? Considering their source of nourishment, do they always have the runs? ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/16 "2004-03-27T04:04:06Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > do they always have the runs? … yes, like a bat out of Hell. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/17 "2004-03-27T05:27:13Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > “Day Of The Dead” establishes that zombies’ digestive systems are pretty much nonfunctional, just like most of the major organs. Therefore, they do not digest their food. Therefore, eventually, assuming they get plenty to eat, they will eventually burst… a process hastened, no doubt, by their own decay. > > And even that prolly won’t stop 'em… Hmmmm…How long does it take a body to pop? I recall reading about an English king who burst at his funeral and ruined everybodies’ day. Would that tear the major muscle groups in the abs/lower back? Or would it vent out a small hole and just scoot the zombie along like a mime in the wind? Tell you what: Lear how to aspirate a body and you’ll be the lone survivor—far too valuable to eat. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/18 "2004-03-27T06:09:27Z")
…“absorbing electrons?” I wouldn’t mind knowing where THAT came from. \*\*O’Bannon Zombies \*\* do not require food to function, but they do crave brains. Weirder still, they can get up and function as zombies even without them, it seems (judging from the experience of at least one cop and Trash, the nude punk rocker in the first “Return Of The Living Dead” film). Even _weirder_, they seem to maintain a modicum of intelligence, even after suffering massive brain damage and/or decerebration! O’Bannon Zombies cannot be stopped, short of complete destruction of the carcass or complete flensing of all connective tissue from the skeleton. Cremation is about the only way to do it, for sure. **Excretory Habits:** Unknown. Based on the comprehensive medical exam given two of them in the first film, their internal organs don’t work; it can be assumed they breathe largely out of habit, as opposed to any need for oxygen. We can, therefore, assume their digestive systems don’t work; how brains “stop the pain of being dead” is a mystery. It may even be psychosomatic, although it also seems to be instinctive in O’Bannon Zombies. Then again, moths fly into flames instinctively, despite the fact that this isn’t any good for them; perhaps O’Bannon Zombies are simply deluded, and the consumption of brains falls into the category of “comfort food.” \*\*Romero Zombies \*\* also do not require food to function, but crave warm flesh. They seem to realize instinctively that they can get it from live creatures, including humans. They have nearly no intelligence left, operating on “pure motorized instinct,” and can be laid to rest by a severe brain injury or decerebration. Injury to any other part of the body has little, if any effect. **Excretory Habits** : Unknown. They do ingest tissue, but, again, their internal organs simply don’t work, and it is known they can’t digest what they eat; they do so simply out of “motorized instinct.” Furthermore, they tend to rot, even as they lurch around (although the zombification process would seem to slow this process down, somewhat), and we can assume their meals would do likewise, inside them, with a resulting buildup of noxious gases; therefore, even if zombies do not poop, it’s a pretty safe bet they belch and fart like _fiends_. **Juju Zombies** , the result of Haitian witch doctor experimentation, are either animated corpses or badly screwed up people in a trance. As animated corpses, they can only be laid to rest by filling their mouths with salt; as people in a trance, they can be laid out by any method that would do in you or I. **Excretory Habits** : variable. If they’re dead, they don’t ingest food, and therefore do not poop. If they aren’t dead, they do ingest food, and therefore presumably poop along the same schedule you or I would. **Mummies** are the dessicated remains of Egyptian royalty, reanimated either by tremendous willpower on the part of the deceased (Im-Ho-Tep), or by the use of arcane and ancient Egyptian magics involving tana leaves (Prince Kharis). They do not eat or drink (except for amounts of tana leaf brew that can be measured in tablespoons), and are effectively indestructible except to fire… although, considering their dehydrated state, I’ve often wondered what would happen if you threw one into a swimming pool… **Excretory Habits** : Likely nil. As previously mentioned, the only thing any mummy has ever been seen to consume was a few spoons of tana leaf brew, which was likely quickly absorbed into his sawdust-dry dessicated innards. Considering that the tana leaf brew is only readministered semiannually – monthly at most – to reactivate the mummy, it’s a safe bet that the sun will burn out before Prince Kharis feels any great urge to take a dump. **Vampires** drink blood, although the amount necessary to sustain the vampire varies from story to story. Precisely how their bodies metabolize the blood is also a matter of some question, although a vampire who fed more than once every week or so is going to have some problem dealing with the fluid intake. He’ll likely bloat, or develop edema, unless his digestive organs DO work in some manner, in which case, he’ll likely do what mosquitoes do – strain out the nutritious blood cells from most of the fluid, and then slurry off the fluid, in the vampire’s case via the bladder, since it’s there already and is fully equipped to deal with waste fluids. **Excretory Habits** : Since the colon’s main function is to reabsorb water from fecal matter, and the vampire requires most (if not all) of the solid matter in blood to remain functional, it seems likely that vampires poop very infrequently, if at all. It is far more likely that they tend to pee occasionally, if their blood intake is sufficient to warrant it; this supposition would tend to be backed up by Stephen King’s \*The Night Flier \* and the film made from that story. **Godzilla** is a humungous freakin’ mutated lizard. He regularly ingests nuclear power plants, and occasional military vehicles and people. **Excretory Habits**. Godzilla does not poop; presumably he obtains most of his energy via radioactivity, and simply assimilates all other material he consumes, without waste products. Believe you me, if a 400’ lizard took a dump anywhere in Japan, those Japanese would have noticed it by now, and it’s likely we’d have heard them screaming all the way over _here_. At least, I would, if it were MY yard. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/19 "2004-03-27T06:25:14Z")
I dunno. I think Godzilla poop would be quickly carted away for sale to Canadian herbalist farmers on Ebay. Tomacco, Hell! Behold Cannibinato! ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2004, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450/20 "2004-03-27T06:42:43Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > I dunno. I think Godzilla poop would be quickly carted away for sale to Canadian herbalist farmers on Ebay. Tomacco, Hell! Behold Cannibinato! I doubt the Canadians would be all that wild about buying lizard poop that required cadmium damper rods before it was safe to go near it… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-zombies-poop/236450.md?page=2)