# Doc Savage vs. Conan the Barbarian **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 29, 2008, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358 "2008-04-29T15:44:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/21 "2008-04-29T23:29:27Z")
[QUOTE=DrFidelius] Did Conan ever punch out a shark? huh? [/QUOTE] There was that giant bull monster thing in _Conan the Valorous._ ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/22 "2008-04-29T23:46:32Z")
[QUOTE=smiling bandit] Wait, since when is Conan supposed to be a dummy? Sure, he might not have been a Rhodes Scholar, but he was the Cimmerian equivelant. He’s well-educated and widely travelled, and if he isn’t a wizard he’s probably learned more about the Black Arts (from all the times they’ve been used against him) and is well-prepared for a huge array of attacks, mental and physical. Conan has commanded bandits and pirates in battle, led groups of thieves in cunning raids, and generally gone it all. Yeah, Doc Savage exercises and studies science. Conan has been involved with more fights that Doc Savage could imagine, against every kind of opponent there is. Plus, he’s frickin’ Conan. He’s like a barbarian _Captain America_. Yes, Doc Savage is good. But this is like putting a skilled kung-fu fighter in a cage match against one of the MMA’s best. Conan can fight fast, or brutal, or conservative, and he can box, or grapple - any way you need. [/QUOTE] You should read Poul Anderson’s _The Barbarian_ some day. (A short story, in an old F&SF antthology.) Doc’s been in one fight at least in every story, which is over 150. Being a doctor, he also knows his anatomy quite well. That will be big help. But Conan would beat him in the whoring department, that I’ll grant you. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/23 "2008-04-29T23:55:12Z")
[QUOTE=Voyager] But Conan would beat him in the whoring department, that I’ll grant you. [/QUOTE] Doc would only try to lead the whore to a reformed and wholesome life. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/24 "2008-04-29T23:59:59Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Doc would only try to lead the whore to a reformed and wholesome life. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] … and if not, he’s got an upstate Crime College where he can operate on her brain… ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/25 "2008-04-30T00:12:43Z")
[QUOTE=Voyager] Doc’s been in one fight at least in every story, which is over 150. Being a doctor, he also knows his anatomy quite well. That will be big help. [/QUOTE] Ah, you don’t know how long this Conan thing has been going, do you? It’s old. And people have been writing Conan stories, usually with multiple fights, for a very long time. Conan has fought pretty much _everything_. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/26 "2008-04-30T00:19:26Z")
[QUOTE=DrFidelius] … and if not, he’s got an upstate Crime College where he can operate on her brain… [/QUOTE] That came to mind if he were able to best Conan, but he couldn’t find a saw strong enough to cut through the Giant Cimmerian’s skull. 🙂 What story was it where the er, Hyborian Bar Girl sells Conan out? When he makes it back alive, he throws her out the window into the sewer. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/27 "2008-04-30T00:49:00Z")
So, Ron Ely vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/28 "2008-04-30T01:02:18Z")
[QUOTE=JThunder] So, Ron Ely vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger? [/QUOTE] I didn’t like him as [Conan.](http://alexcastromodels.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/08/28/frank_frazetta_thebarbarianbig.jpg) Perhaps, though, we could agree that Johnny Weissmuller could kick Ron Ely’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/29 "2008-04-30T01:06:29Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] What story was it where the er, Hyborian Bar Girl sells Conan out? When he makes it back alive, he throws her out the window into the sewer. [/QUOTE] [_Rogues in the House_.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rogues_in_the_House) Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/30 "2008-04-30T01:12:59Z")
[QUOTE=Shodan] [_Rogues in the House_.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rogues_in_the_House) Regards, Shodan [/QUOTE] Thanks! Surely Conan wins on dialog: > [@REH](#): > > “When did a priest keep an oath?” complained Conan, comprehending the trend of the conversation. “Let me cut his throat; I want to see what color his blood is. They say in the Maze that his heart is black, so his blood must be black too…” ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/31 "2008-04-30T01:25:04Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] I didn’t like him as [Conan.](http://alexcastromodels.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/08/28/frank_frazetta_thebarbarianbig.jpg) Perhaps, though, we could agree that Johnny Weissmuller could kick Ron Ely’s ass. [/QUOTE] Yes, but did you like Ron Ely as [Doc Savage](http://members.fortunecity.com/clark_savage/)? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/32 "2008-04-30T01:36:40Z")
[QUOTE=JThunder] Yes, but did you like Ron Ely as [Doc Savage](http://members.fortunecity.com/clark_savage/)? [/QUOTE] I am ashamed to admit that I haven’t seen the film. I do like the look of the 30’s pulp [Doc](http://members.aol.com/the86floor/) better than the 60’s Mr. Clean look, though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/33 "2008-04-30T12:41:18Z")
[hijack] Why did Lester Dent name his hero “Doc Savage” when everything that defines the character is the complete antithesis of savagery? Is this a formation-by-contraries along the lines of Little John and Curly? [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/34 "2008-04-30T12:47:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I am ashamed to admit that I haven’t seen the film. You MUST see the film – it’s so incredibly, wonderfully _bad_! There used to be a website devoted to "MST3K"ing it, which is, unfortunately, gone. They had to have made it tongue-in-cheek, but I can’t beluieve they wanted it to be as over-the-top as it was. And, as for reforming prostitutes, look at the Salvation Army band-member playing a mean tambourine on her hip at the end. At least one other member of that band is a graduate of Doc’s upstate clinic, so there’s a chance she is, too. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/35 "2008-04-30T13:00:18Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] There used to be a website devoted to "MST3K"ing it, [/QUOTE] How can I ignore a recommendation like that? I fear, however, that like [The Cheap Detective,](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077321/) Mrs. Plant will be unfamiliar with the subject and believe me to be seriously disturbed. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/36 "2008-04-30T13:06:09Z")
When Conan finally becomes a king, IIRC, he (at first, anyway) rather neglects his administrative and governmental duties, and devotes himself enthusiastically to drinking, whoring and roistering. Doc Savage modifies malefactors’ personalities through brain surgery. Who would you rather have running a country – King Log or King Spork? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/37 "2008-04-30T13:15:11Z")
> [@](#): > > When Conan finally becomes a king, IIRC, he (at first, anyway) rather neglects his administrative and governmental duties, and devotes himself enthusiastically to drinking, whoring and roistering. That’s not my recollection from the stories. Conan was supposedly a better king because he didn’t bleed his subjects with taxes (Conan has no taste for luxuries) and kept his nose out of their religious issues. Howard didn’t say anything about him indulging himself after usurping the throne, and, as far as I can recall, neither did any of the crew that followed (at first L. Sprague de Camp, Lin Carter, and Bjorn Nyberg, then the second wave of Karl Edward Wagner, Robert Jordan, and everyone else). ---
**Author:** ![Coil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Coil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coil)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/38 "2008-04-30T13:16:53Z")
[QUOTE=smiling bandit] Wait, since when is Conan supposed to be a dummy? Sure, he might not have been a Rhodes Scholar, but he was the Cimmerian equivelant. He’s well-educated and widely travelled, and if he isn’t a wizard he’s probably learned more about the Black Arts (from all the times they’ve been used against him) and is well-prepared for a huge array of attacks, mental and physical. Conan has commanded bandits and pirates in battle, led groups of thieves in cunning raids, and generally gone it all. [/QUOTE] Exactly, Conan is not a dummy. It is just shows the prejudice of some people when they can’t believe that someone is both strong and smart. 😉 In the books Conan is certainly shown as being quite smart and cunning. My money is on the mighty thewed barbarian. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/39 "2008-04-30T13:42:18Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] That’s not my recollection from the stories. Conan was supposedly a better king because he didn’t bleed his subjects with taxes (Conan has no taste for luxuries) and kept his nose out of their religious issues. Howard didn’t say anything about him indulging himself after usurping the throne, and, as far as I can recall, neither did any of the crew that followed (at first L. Sprague de Camp, Lin Carter, and Bjorn Nyberg, then the second wave of Karl Edward Wagner, Robert Jordan, and everyone else). [/QUOTE] Well, I’m getting that from a condensed online bio of Conan, which I can’t seem to find at the moment. I thought it was in his [Wiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conan_the_barbarian) page but I can’t find it there. In the Marvel Comics version, I recall, Conan was all set to have some fun after he overthrew the king of Aquilonia, until his minister reminded him that he’d be no better than his predecessor if he wanted to reign without ruling; so Conan told the dancing girls to wait and sat down to pore over the treasury reports. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358/40 "2008-04-30T13:55:59Z")
I have to give it to Conan because he doesn’t have an entourage of goofy sidekicks. The Conan stories (I’ve read only the RE Howard ones) were about Conan. The three or four Doc Savages I read were mainly about Monk and Ham, neither of whom I liked the least bit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doc-savage-vs-conan-the-barbarian/447358.md?page=3)