That reminded me of a similar instance, this, from the doctor’s prospective.
I had a friend who was a resident where I worked. He was very neat and very thorough, especially with paper work. One night we had an old gentleman arrive from ER with almost no blood pressure, unconscious, and barely breathing. We worked for 2 hours trying to stabilize him, but to no avail. The man was 90 years old and had come from a nursing home.
My friend spent the hour I was preparing the body for the morgue, writing a 3 page admission and “discharge” note.
Three months later, the records room called him to say there was no discharge note in the chart. He went down to show them the extensive combined note. It wasn’t there The records clerk said it was probably lost so could he please just rewrite it?
Gripping the pen in his fist, he wrote “The patient came from the ER, very ill, and died.”
Did this one back when I was an optometry tech in the military. Once a year, we would get a group of reservists in to do their two week training at our hospital.
One day I was chatting with my friend in his office and noticed that one of the reservists was working in central supply. So my friend and I walked over to him and asked for three feet of fallopian tube.
He went in back and looked for 15 minutes before coming back and said “Sorry, sarge, we don’t seem to have any fallopian tubes.”
Qadgop just reminded me of another one.
There was an intubated patient, under gaseous anesthetic, who was undergoing some sort of procedure involving a cautery apparently. Someone got a little too close to the trach tube and it caught on fire. The patient wasn’t seriously hurt though I’ll never know why not because when we received the trach tube in the lab the thing was charred and half-melted.
Another time I was the only one working in the lab when a doctor came in with a legal specimen he wanted me to hold. Seems that a patient had choked to death in the hospital cafeteria and the specimen was the food mass they’d retrieved from his throat. Well the specimen consisted of a hunk of pork chop about an inch and a half wide and three inches long. And it wasn’t chewed at all that I could see. Small bites and chew your food well kiddies, or at all.
Many, many moons ago, I was an EMT. I worked for a private ambulance company. One evening, we were sent to do a patient transfer from Ben Taub Hospital to a nursing home.
For those that don’t live in the Houston area, Ben Taub is the county hospital. It is a major trauma center and one of the best ERs in the country (you don’t want to stay there as an extended patient, though). Anyway, we were waiting for our patient to be produced when Houston EMS runs in hot and offloads a guy about 60 or so, curled up in a fetal position and screaming. They run him into the back and a while later, one of the Houston guys comes back to the desk to do paperwork. I asked him what he had and he started laughing.
Seems the old boy had gotten snockered and picked up some little tart and tried to get it on with her. He was too drunk/old to get it up, so he tried to help himself out by inserting a fever thermometer up his whanger.
And it broke… :eek:
I have a good friend, who is/was a large-game hunting guide. This guy had seen all KINDS of gore and such, so talking about a hunt gone bad or pieces/parts during dinner was not big deal. No big deal, that is, until his sister (an RN) went into great detail one evening about a nifty little procedure called a TURP. He just couldn’t stand it…he simply didn’t make it through dinner that night.
Of course, my PERSONAL funny story also involves a TURP. I was in a hospital when a charge nurse was complaining that she thought her husband was philandering on her - and that he was also coming in for a rather innocuous procedure that day. I mentioned to her that she ought to pull up his electronic record and schedule him for a TURP, instead. She turned blue she started laughing so hard. I don’t THINK she scheduled the TURP - but I also didn’t hang around to find out…
Yes, I got that, but the hospital nurse stated that her monitor did pacing also. Unplugging your leads would result in a flatline on your monitor in any case – no more patient attached. When the nurse attached her monitor’s leads, and set it to pace mode, the pacing would continue. Where’s the big surprise for anybody in this scenario? The patient was flatline on her monitor when she hooked him up? So start pacing already…
I’ve heard it as “the four S’s: showering, swimming, sports, and… spelunking.”
Hey! Waitaminure!
I have worked hospital supply for eight years now, the last three being on swing shift.
I got no Nurse or Aid action.
Damn.
I have a story I’m not a doctor or a nurse. So I call my boyfriend in tears and I’m like Greg I think Jeff took advantage of me. So he takes me to the er and the on call er dr tries to kick him out. She’s like have u ever been to the obgyn with her before and he said no. I’m like he’s staying and he’s like yeah. So she puts a 35mm digital camera in my uterus and hes freaking out… Baby look at me take deep breaths good job squeeze if it hurts… So after she gets out of my junk she says I can get dressed and he says aww but I like her like that lol
And on that note, zombie thread closed.
Hal Briston - MPSIMS Moderator