# Does a bear \*ahem\* in the woods? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 19, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808 "2005-08-19T21:37:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![feppytweed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/feppytweed/32/4280_2.png) [@feppytweed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/feppytweed)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/1 "2005-08-19T21:37:29Z")
Do you know any other ways of saying, “of course, if you didn’t know that, you are an idiot”? Only one I have heard other than that (that i can think of) is Does Billy Graham have a bible study? ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/2 "2005-08-19T21:38:10Z")
Is the Pope Catholic? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/3 "2005-08-19T21:40:01Z")
“Would you like a beer?” (Maybe that’s just me and my friends, though) ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/4 "2005-08-19T21:45:19Z")
“Will the sun rise tomorrow?” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/5 "2005-08-19T21:49:23Z")
Does a Fleeml gyrate when ionized? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/6 "2005-08-19T21:58:13Z")
Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops? ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/7 "2005-08-19T22:00:34Z")
Does a hobby horse have a wooden dick? -Road House ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/8 "2005-08-19T22:03:08Z")
Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back? ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/9 "2005-08-19T23:02:31Z")
As **pinkfreud** notes, by far the most common alternative is “Is the Pope Catholic?” Given the similarity of the words “bear” and “pope”(one syllable w/an initial bilabial plosive), the two phrases have often been conflated into “Does the Pope shit in the woods?” See, e.g., [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6075035&postcount=12) and [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6075928&postcount=21) from a joke thread discussing previous Pope Benedicts. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/10 "2005-08-19T23:08:49Z")
“What is the sound of one hand clapping?” “Will a strange dog bite?” Oops! I inverted the concept from certainty to uncertainty. My bad. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/11 "2005-08-19T23:09:43Z")
Does a Doper post non sequiturs? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/12 "2005-08-19T23:29:44Z")
Is a frog’s ass watertight? ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/13 "2005-08-20T00:00:47Z")
Is water wet? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/14 "2005-08-20T00:24:15Z")
I’m moving this to IMHO, from Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/15 "2005-08-20T00:29:09Z")
Does the Pope shit in the woods? ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/16 "2005-08-20T00:29:36Z")
Is the sky blue? Is Sun overpriced? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/17 "2005-08-20T01:05:50Z")
Do ducks fart underwater? ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/18 "2005-08-20T01:48:04Z")
Is the sky blue? ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/19 "2005-08-20T02:30:01Z")
I usually say “Does the Pope wear a funny hat?” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808/20 "2005-08-20T02:35:25Z")
I _used_ to say, “Is the Pope Polish?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-bear-ahem-in-the-woods/317808.md?page=2)