# Does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis? Or, wankers **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [September 1, 2011, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835 "2011-09-01T12:51:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/1 "2011-09-01T12:51:27Z")
In Cecil’s erudite [column](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/50/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis) he uses the word “wanker” as a synonym for penis. Is this common usage anywhere? I was given to understand that Americans in general were not familiar with this (British) expression. In any case, that’s not what it means (or, at least, I’ve never heard it used that way in Britain). The wanker is the person doing the wanking, not the part he’s doing it to. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/2 "2011-09-01T21:27:21Z")
Just last night I was remembering a bit of a controversy I heard about _Miami Vice_, where (guest star) Phil Collins called someone a wanker. It apparently only got through the censors because they didn’t understand what he meant. But yes, my understanding is that wanker is the person, and wanking is what he’s doing. Having a wank describes the process, not the equipment. I’ve never heard of wank/penis being interchangeable. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/3 "2011-09-01T21:39:17Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > Just last night I was remembering a bit of a controversy I heard about _Miami Vice_, where (guest star) Phil Collins called someone a wanker. It apparently only got through the censors because they didn’t understand what he meant. > > But yes, my understanding is that wanker is the person, and wanking is what he’s doing. Having a wank describes the process, not the equipment. > > I’ve never heard of wank/penis being interchangeable. If a wanker is the person doing it, I guess what it is being done to is the wankee? ---
**Author:** ![John\_W.Kennedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_w.kennedy/32/1031_2.png) [@John\_W.Kennedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_W.Kennedy)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/4 "2011-09-01T21:42:33Z")
The OED does not list such a meaning. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/5 "2011-09-01T21:59:26Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > If a wanker is the person doing it, I guess what it is being done to is the wankee? While there’s a part of my brain scanning records for \*any \*joke along those lines, for the most part I think it’s more likely to be the ‘banker/customer’ unconnected construction. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![eastcheap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8491ac/32.png) [@eastcheap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eastcheap)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/6 "2011-09-03T16:19:32Z")
Perhaps pigs’ willies _are_ a bunch of wankers. Having never met one personally, I really couldn’t say. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/7 "2011-09-03T16:38:00Z")
[Picture link](http://www.collectorsweekly.com/stories/594-ross-pig-corkscrew). ---
**Author:** ![Kirk\_Gunn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/df705f/32.png) [@Kirk\_Gunn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kirk_Gunn)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/8 "2011-09-07T20:51:56Z")
Consider “Willy Wanka and the Chocolate Factory”: _“Wonka” is just a variation on “Wanka” ._ Freud, Jung, and all the Mind-Miners would have a field day. Especially with being a “wanka” (i.e., “gangsta” is just another way of pronouncing “gangster”), the reference to the “willy”, (which everyone knows is a “cute” li’l name for penis), and the objective reference to the goal of The Chocolate Factory, a.k.a. The Hershey Highway. So, to recap: SOMEONE is “wanking willy” (i.e., masturbating) while thinking of a sexual object, “The Chocolate Factory”, a euphemism for anal sex. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/9 "2011-09-07T20:54:51Z")
Well, that puts a new spin on Augustus Gloop disappearing up the chocolate pipe! ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/10 "2011-09-07T23:20:32Z")
à la anthony blanche? ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/11 "2011-09-08T01:57:34Z")
The line is: Accompanying this passage is a helpful drawing revealing that not only does the male pig have a corkscrew-shaped wanker, the female pig has a corkscrew-shaped receptacle, as it were… Perhaps there was a very oddly-shaped human helping said pig? ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/12 "2011-09-08T19:55:53Z")
Pigs are not the only animals with odd shaped sexual organs. (Nor the largest in relation to body size, as per the link below. SFW) [http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argentine\_Blue-bill](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argentine_Blue-bill) ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/13 "2011-09-08T20:59:16Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > In Cecil’s erudite [column](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/50/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis) he uses the word “wanker” as a synonym for penis. … The wanker is the person doing the wanking,\*\* not the part he’s doing it to.\*\* 🙂 (bolding mine) [nit pick] Shouldn’t that read, “not the part he’s doing it _ **with** _.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/14 "2011-09-08T21:09:01Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > Just last night I was remembering a bit of a controversy I heard about _Miami Vice_, where (guest star) Phil Collins called someone a wanker. It apparently only got through the censors because they didn’t understand what he meant. > > But yes, my understanding is that wanker is the person, and wanking is what he’s doing. Having a wank describes the process, not the equipment. > > I’ve never heard of wank/penis being interchangeable. Would the following examples be grammatically correct? 😃 He’s a such a wanker. He wanted to wank her. She really enjoyed getting wanked. They were caught wanking in the car park. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/15 "2011-09-08T21:27:50Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > Would the following examples be grammatically correct? 😃 > > He’s a such a wanker. > He wanted to wank her. > She really enjoyed getting wanked. > They were caught wanking in the car park. It’d have to be: He wanted to wank her off. She really enjoyed getting wanked off. But they’d both look odd, since wanking is usually for self-pleasuring, not others. ---
**Author:** ![pitcairnpete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@pitcairnpete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pitcairnpete)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/16 "2011-09-08T21:34:02Z")
One experienced wanker to others … no… wait… I wont go there… The best English head line ever was “the ruddy duck has an 8 inch secret” but I was always lead to believe the biggest knob to body ratio was going to be the barnacle. scifisam - We dont really “wank” women off over here do we… Its just not said lol. Not through vulgarity prevention measures, it just doesn’t really sound right. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/17 "2011-09-09T08:31:37Z")
> [@SciFiSam](#): > > It’d have to be: > > He wanted to wank her off. > She really enjoyed getting wanked off. > > But they’d both look odd, since wanking is usually for self-pleasuring, not others. Ahhh! I think I understand, now. :smack: ‘Wanking’ (or is it, ‘wanking off’?) is the colloquial English equivalent of the American euphemism, ‘jacking off’. (ie: masturbating) Correct? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/18 "2011-09-09T21:57:28Z")
Correct - except ‘jacker’ hasn’t entered your language in any meaningful way. Like the British ‘frigging’ - as explained by those jolly musical chaps the Sex Pistols, who attempted to popularise it with their little sea shanty _Frigging in the Rigging ('Cause there’s fuck all else to do)_. I see from a quick googling (as it were) that they’ve performed this song with the Muppets. I’m kind of scared to watch the video. ETA: Mash up of Muppets video and SP soundtrack. Weird but funny if you like seeing innocent children’s characters performing gross out humor. I do! ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/19 "2011-09-09T22:31:55Z")
> [@pitcairnpete](#): > > One experienced wanker to others … no.. wait.. I wont go there… > > The best English head line ever was “the ruddy duck has an 8 inch secret” but I was always lead to believe the biggest knob to body ratio was going to be the barnacle. > > scifisam - We dont really “wank” women off over here do we.. Its just not said lol. Not through vulgarity prevention measures, it just doesn’t really sound right. I’ve heard it for women more in the past few years, but yeah, it’s mostly for men. > [@JBDivmstr](#): > > Ahhh! I think I understand, now. :smack: > ‘Wanking’ (or is it, ‘wanking off’?) is the colloquial English equivalent of the American euphemism, ‘jacking off’. (ie: masturbating) > Correct? 😛 Wanking is masturbating, wanking someone else off is jacking them off. I wonder if ‘jerk someone off’ has a similar meaning, or used to? It’d make the mild insult ‘you jerk-off!’ be a little more colourful. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2011, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835/20 "2011-09-12T12:23:30Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > Correct - except ‘jacker’ hasn’t entered your language in any meaningful way. > > Like the British ‘frigging’ - as explained by those jolly musical chaps the Sex Pistols, who attempted to popularise it with their little sea shanty _Frigging in the Rigging ('Cause there’s fuck all else to do)_. > > I see from a quick googling (as it were) that they’ve performed this song with the Muppets. I’m kind of scared to watch the video. ETA: Mash up of Muppets video and SP soundtrack. Weird but funny if you like seeing innocent children’s characters performing gross out humor. I do! ‘Jacker’ is used to a certain extent over here in the colonies, 😃 just not with sexual undertones. I’m certain you’re familiar with the term ‘carjack’, aren’t you? (ie: To steal someones car while they’re in it. Such as, at a stop sign or red light.) The term ‘to jack’ or ‘jacked’ is pretty common street slang for robbery or theft. And ‘frigging’ is not all that uncommon either. (And it’s used exactly like your example.) It’s a slightly more polite way of saying ‘fucking’, is all.😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis-or-wankers/594835.md?page=2)