# Does anyone else find having a TV constantly on unsettling? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 15, 2014, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675 "2014-11-15T03:46:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/41 "2014-11-15T20:54:34Z")
Let me toss in another point I don’t think has been raised: I hate it when a silent TV is on in the room. The flickering images draw my eyes, and I find it very hard to look away. I dislike restaurants that have big-screen TVs on. I’m a kid of the Star Trek generation, and I was strongly conditioned to watch. It’s very difficult not to look at a TV screen. In such restaurants, I always ask to be seated with my back to the TV. (And…my dinner companions tend to become hypnotized by the damn thing, just the same way I would have!) ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/42 "2014-11-15T21:01:11Z")
Definitely in the hate it crowd. Visiting my mom last summer, she has the TV on _loud_ all day. Tuned to crap. No DVR so commercials and what not. She even tunes into infomercials once one program has finished and there’s a half hour before her next desired program comes on. Holy #\*$%! I’ve been sick a bit this week so I decided to watch a little TV during the day, using a DVR. The most I could stand was one hour long program and a 1/2 long program. Total about an hour without commercials. Having a TV on just to have some sound, etc. is just flat out wrong. Peace and quiet is a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/43 "2014-11-15T22:17:29Z")
It makes me jittery and uncomfortable to have a TV on all the time, but I do have a related affliction, which is that I am on an electronic device (laptop, smartphone) almost all of my waking hours. I have to force myself to turn my devices off an hour before bedtime, so I can wind down. I can understand how having a TV on and getting that constant input/background information could be addicting. I also don’t think that having a TV on all the time is something that only those who are “not that bright” would choose to do, as someone said upthread. I know a very smart guy who works on Wall St., in a fast-paced job which I’m guessing is highly visually and aurally stimulating all day long, who comes home and turns the TV on for background noise. It’s probably jarring to him NOT to have that stimulus. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/44 "2014-11-15T22:25:14Z")
I find having a TV in the background a bit annoying when I’m trying to have a conversation, but otherwise it doesn’t particularly bother me; my wife likes having the radio on when she’s cooking or when we’re eating on the patio, and I like having the radio on when I’ve driving. But it baffled me in China on a couple of occasions where my wife and I went with some of her friends and/or relatives to a fancy(ish) restaurant. The restaurant would seat us in a private room, wait for everyone to be seated, and then the waiter would turn on a TV! Both times we had to ask them to turn it off again. How is that conducive to conversation or fine dining? ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/45 "2014-11-16T00:24:30Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Talking Lamp, I like that! Or, “Chewing Gum for the Eyes”. Can’t remember who said that. Marshall McLuhan maybe? Anyway, chalk me up to the ‘can’t stand a TV always being on’ crowd. I’m very, very sensitive to it as it really makes it impossible for me to even think. I think it’s a known “ADHD” thing, and I suffer from that pretty seriously. I don’t like having any music, internet, or TV on at all unless I am actively tuned into a program that is playing. It’s so bad for me that I feel the need to actually ask people to turn their TV off if I am around. Naturally this doesn’t always go over too well (and I really dislike asking people to do that) so it ends up that there are some people I can visit and some people I simply can’t. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/46 "2014-11-16T00:50:49Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > No, I like the TV on if I’m not reading or sleeping. Turned down low if I’m not actually watching it. I don’t see how it’s any different from listening to the radio all the time or walking around with headphones on. But you seem to really like it quiet as their constant talking also gets on your nerves. That might bother me, too. (Well, actually I’d think the last-ditch resort of reading road signs is funny and would occasionally do it with my spouse throughout the year as an inside joke.) > > But how do you know they’re not trying to fill a, to them, uncomfortable silence? Maybe they don’t think they have anything important enough to you for them to say. Maybe they enjoy the visit about as much as you do. > > I can’t imagine the resentment you must have built up, wasting every vacation at some place where you don’t want to be. And they won’t even let you stay at a motel… > > Really, why not just find some kind of compromise that would be more pleasant all around? It’s not that I like quiet, it’s that I hate meaningless communication. I like conversation, but hate chit chat. I kind of like sleeping with the window open, so I can hear the city: neighbors on the street, sirens, a ball game going on at the school downt the street. Right now, I can hear the call to prayer from a dozen different mosques and I like it. But if a person can’t just sit comfortably within themselves when there is nothing to say, that person has a problem. When I’m there, I’ll be reading a book and the dad will ask, “what you doing Madmonk?” “Reading a book.” “Is it good?” “Yeah it’s about the politics that lead to prohibition, suffragists made a political alliance with conservative Christians and anti immigration…” His attention instantly wanders, he wanted me to stop reading the book, it makes him uncomfortable in a way I’d bet he can’t articulate, but he doesn’t want to talk about anything, he just wants me to stop reading the book. And it’s not every vacation, but pretty much every Christmas vacation that we go there. When I don’t go along my wife reports they are the same. Some people just aren’t comfortable with being alone with their thoughts, there’s a white knuckle fear behind the need to always have vapid noise that I find sad and unsettling. ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/47 "2014-11-16T01:45:49Z")
> [@vix](#): > > I also don’t think that having a TV on all the time is something that only those who are “not that bright” would choose to do, as someone said upthread. I know a very smart guy who works on Wall St., in a fast-paced job which I’m guessing is highly visually and aurally stimulating all day long, who comes home and turns the TV on for background noise. It’s probably jarring to him NOT to have that stimulus. I agree: a prejudice on my part, unkind and, broadly, inaccurate; but, I feel, not totally baseless. It surprises me a bit when intelligent people choose to have the thing on, un-attended-to, all the time – though I can “see with my head”, as in your instance, how that can be so. ---
**Author:** ![May\_20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@May\_20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/May_20)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/48 "2014-11-16T01:59:15Z")
I have constant tinnitus in both ears. I prefer the sound of voices to the sound of the ringing, so if I’m home alone, the TV is almost always on. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/49 "2014-11-16T02:43:49Z")
Well, I don’t think I’m _too_ stoopid but I’m a child of the '50s. TV was new and wonderful and a luxurious necessity. Everybody did it. When I grew up having a TV on just felt right. When I’m inside if it’s not on and I’m not otherwise occupied, the silence is too deep and my mind is too loud. I either start my compulsive rumination or I start writing (in my head)…which is probably why I write. So the white noise neutralizes that when I’m not ready to deal. It’s a breather of sorts, a buffer between me and me. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/50 "2014-11-16T03:20:26Z")
I might keep it on to listen to BBC news, but after a while, when the news starts repeating itself, I’ll turn it off. Or listen to MTV. Otherwise, it’s off. Most Thais seem to keep their sets on during every waking moment, and I’ve had them ask why I turned mine off when they came to visit. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/51 "2014-11-16T03:28:21Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > They’re also the kind of people who like a lot of chit chat. I can’t really explain it, but for me watching TV, or having a conversation are all more like activities I engage in and require a certain amount of concentration while they kind of just say nothing. As a result they ask the same questions over and over or make the same comments. I’m a nervous wreck by the time the visit is over and every year I say to myself “I used my vacation days for this?” You are describing a nightmare. A NIGHTMARE. > [@](#): > > His attention instantly wanders, he wanted me to stop reading the book, it makes him uncomfortable in a way I’d bet he can’t articulate, but he doesn’t want to talk about anything, he just wants me to stop reading the book. I know exactly what you mean. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/52 "2014-11-16T09:49:23Z")
This thread is really helping me. These visits to her parents are probably the biggest unresolved issue in our marriage; not bad after 14 years. I just realizes that it’s not that I like quiet, it’s that I like reality. If I’m home in DC, I like to hear the city, if I’m in the country, I want to hear the birds. I want to have conversations and be comfortable in the quiet. TV robs me of reality without my consent. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/53 "2014-11-16T12:16:53Z")
> [@vix](#): > > I know a very smart guy who works on Wall St., in a fast-paced job which I’m guessing is highly visually and aurally stimulating all day long, who comes home and turns the TV on for background noise. It’s probably jarring to him NOT to have that stimulus. I completely understand this because I’m the same way. I need that additional stimulus whether I’m watching it or not. I CANNOT stand total silence in my own house. Somebody upthread described by husband to a T in that he becomes almost militant if I leave the TV on and, say, do something else in another room. For him it’s the noise. His office is upstairs and the voices drift no matter how low the volume. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/54 "2014-11-16T17:33:15Z")
I was traveling with a coworker in Europe this summer. After check-in, he would enter the hotel room, drop his bag and go immediately for the TV remote. Setting aside his loud, frequent complaints that none of it was in English (rolleyes don’t even get close), it really seemed strange. He is simply one of these ‘TV Must Be On’ people we’re reading about in this thread. We had a four stops and shared a room for half them. I was happy to open a window and listen to the sounds exotic, foreign cities while surfing the web on my laptop. He preferred bitching about air conditioning and wondering why there wasn’t any NHL hockey on. I think it is fair to say I had the better time. The ONLY time I turned it on was in Berlin since the TV also served as the alarm clock. He’s not a bad guy and wasn’t attempting to annoy me or anything, we just have different styles of entertainment. I went looking for it, he wanted it to come to him and would settle for something he couldn’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/55 "2014-11-16T17:53:26Z")
Nope, doesn’t bother me. Like **Trinopus** , I find it vaguely hypnotizing. But here’s where I think I’m lucky–I don’t have the TV on all the time when I’m home because _I tune it out_. There’s just no point on having a TV on when I have no idea what’s happening. I can easily tune it out in bars, waiting for my car repair, whatever. But at my grandparent’s, ironically, TV was a great way to escape family drama. Going to watch football alone with granddad, or going to watch TV downstairs in the basement with the other kids. Plus, my grandmother hated TV, so it was an act of defiance. Like others, I have no problem telling people their TV is really fucking loud if it’s distracting me. I’ll also turn down the radio in someone’s car. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/56 "2014-11-16T18:55:39Z")
> [@LibrarySpy](#): > > Nope, doesn’t bother me. Like **Trinopus** , I find it vaguely hypnotizing. > > But here’s where I think I’m lucky–I don’t have the TV on all the time when I’m home because _I tune it out_. There’s just no point on having a TV on when I have no idea what’s happening. I can easily tune it out in bars, waiting for my car repair, whatever. … Not picking on you, but you’ve hit a giant nail directly on the head. I’m the opposite character. I never have TV on for noise. I’ll turn it on to watch a specific show. Then turn it off. As a result of not practicing tuning it out all day every day at home, I’m unable to do so out in public either. So if there’s one blaring in a waiting room, it completely dominates my thoughts. I have to work pretty hard to blot it out long enough to interact with the receptionist. I can’t read or converse with my companion while some talking head(s) shout in the room. In a bar or restaurant I’ll find the damn thing has sucked my visual attention away from my tablemates even if I have zero interest in whatever’s being shown. The subconscious draw is too strong. So across the public at large, we end up with two populations: One group who always has TV on, feels weird when it’s off/not present, yet is immune to it’s presence because they practice ignoring it all day. They’re like a drug addict who’s built up a high tolerance to the normal dose of their drug. They get no benefit, but would suffer greatly if the drug was withdrawn. And another group who is hypersensitive to the drug that seems omnipresent. And the more it’s turned up to help overcome the first group’s immunity, the more it ODs and debilitates the second group. And the solution to their common discomfort, if there is one, is equally paradoxical. The addict needs to wean themselves off it until they’re once again sensitive to it in moderate doses, while the over-sensitive need to force themselves to consume more until they’re desensitized enough to tolerate the common environmental dose. All in all this is a silly state of affairs we’ve backed ourselves into. For me personally, I can only hope the ever-advancing march of streaming smartphones and ear buds will replace the blaring TVs in public places. Then each druggie can be zombified by his/her drug of choice while I can move about in peace. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/57 "2014-11-16T19:22:24Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Am I a freak, or does it drive anyone else nuts? Straight Dope Message Board, November 15, 2027: We’re about to visit my in-laws and they always drive me nuts. They’re constantly fiddling with their smartphones and tablets while we’re there… ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/58 "2014-11-16T19:57:37Z")
It bothers me a lot. I prefer it to be quiet. I don’t have a tv but I don’t have a speaker for my computer either. I have a headset but I rarely wear it. I don’t much listen to music either unless I’m driving. ---
**Author:** ![DingoelGringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@DingoelGringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DingoelGringo)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/59 "2014-11-16T20:00:06Z")
I can live from one year to the next without a TV, and have. My lady presently has one and every once in a while will say “Look at this!” I as politely as possible tell her that I have no interest in looking at that shyt. ---
**Author:** ![race\_to\_the\_bottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c4cdca/32.png) [@race\_to\_the\_bottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/race_to_the_bottom)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2014, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675/60 "2014-11-17T01:30:18Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > We’re gearing up for our annual holiday time visit to my wife’s parents and as usual, I find myself dreading the trips. I’m always completely stressed out by the end of the trip. One of the reasons is the tv is always on. > > At home, we tend to use the TV as a data transmission device. We sit down to watch a particular show and when it’s over, we turn it off. Rarely we’ll channel surf, but the TV is never on if we’re not actively watching it. > > At my in laws house, they turn on the TV as soon as they get up and then don’t particularly watch it. It’s just on in the background, all day. For some reason this really makes me nervous. I can’t just tune it out like they seem to do, and I find the idea of it just being on vaguely creepy. I end up taking lots of walks just to get out the house and have some peace. > > Am I a freak, or does it drive anyone else nuts? I suggest you get one of these, the keychain kind. Don’t tell your spouse. Just keep it in your pocket and turn off the tv at random times. They will think there is something wrong with their tv. If you are discrete, they will never know it was you. Hey, this is war, a war for your sanity! > **[Amazon.com: TV-B-Gone - Turn Off Any TV - North America, Australia : Electronics](https://www.amazon.com/TV-B-Gone-Universal-TV-Control-Keychain/dp/B0006GD9CE)** > > Buy TV-B-Gone - Turn Off Any TV - North America, Australia: Remote Controls - Amazon.com ✓ FREE DELIVERY possible on eligible purchases [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-find-having-a-tv-constantly-on-unsettling/704675.md?page=4)