# Does anyone else hate being called ma'am? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2011, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739 "2011-05-13T01:28:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/21 "2011-05-13T11:20:53Z")
I don’t mind being called ma’am. Out here (middle of nowhere, Appalachia) it’s pretty much the norm. ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/22 "2011-05-13T11:54:11Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Of course not, it’s just a politeness. > > We’ve had some crazy previous threads about the subject. I even asked if [teaching children to say ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ meant that the parents were assholes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=564585). > > [Women being upset by being called “ma’am”.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=588618) > > [Another one.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=153908) > I’ll mention something that I’ve said before: I call my kids “sir” and “ma’am” sometimes, too. So age has nothing to do with it. OP of the second post chiming in. Let it be known that I have _not_ called her ma’am since the incident. In fact, her lone incident actually broke me of using it altogether. Sad, really. A lot of other women seemed to be receptive towards it. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/23 "2011-05-13T12:33:28Z")
Anyone remember the episode of _the Mary Tyler Moore Show_ called, “Today I Am A Ma’am”? This was easily one of the best of the series. ---
**Author:** ![Lorski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Lorski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorski)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/24 "2011-05-13T12:43:05Z")
To me it is just a sign of respect and good manners to address an adult woman as ma’am. Of course younger women should be addressed as “Miss” if you are not on a first name basis with them. It’s just good manners. ---
**Author:** ![classyladyhp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/25 "2011-05-13T13:07:19Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > Of course not, it’s just a politeness. > > We’ve had some crazy previous threads about the subject. I even asked if [teaching children to say ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ meant that the parents were assholes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=564585). > > [Women being upset by being called “ma’am”.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=588618) > > [Another one.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=153908) > I’ll mention something that I’ve said before: I call my kids “sir” and “ma’am” sometimes, too. So age has nothing to do with it. Thanks for the links. I guess I should have searched first before posting. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/26 "2011-05-13T13:43:39Z")
> [@classyladyhp](#): > > Thanks for the links. I guess I should have searched first before posting. No harm done, ma’am. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/27 "2011-05-13T14:10:27Z")
Ouch. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/28 "2011-05-13T14:17:51Z")
It bothers me. Either they are insulting me, or my hearing is going. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/29 "2011-05-13T14:21:38Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > or my hearing is going. How so? ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/30 "2011-05-13T14:28:06Z")
No. It’s an appropriate form of address. ---
**Author:** ![classyladyhp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@classyladyhp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/classyladyhp)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/31 "2011-05-13T14:30:15Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > No harm done, ma’am. :mad:😛 ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/32 "2011-05-13T14:32:22Z")
I was raised in the south where ma’am is used frequently as a polite form of address. To me, it’s a courteous pleasantry. I’m always surprised when these threads pop up and learn how many people are offended by it. People try to explain why they find it annoying and I still don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/33 "2011-05-13T15:53:49Z")
Moved MPSIMS --\> IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/34 "2011-05-13T16:05:54Z")
It doesn’t both me at all. “Miss” does: it always seems a little patronizing. Part of this is my own hang up: I always wanted to be an adult, and when I was of an age where “miss” wasn’t entirely inappropriate, I still wanted to be seen as a “ma’am”. Now, however, I am old enough that if someone calls me “Miss” it really is patronizing, like a waiter carding you because he assumes you are distraught about your age and will be flattered that he asked. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/35 "2011-05-13T16:34:15Z")
If I travel North of the Mason-Dixon, how may I politely address women ? ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/36 "2011-05-13T18:13:36Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > If I travel North of the Mason-Dixon, how may I politely address women ? Ma’am. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/37 "2011-05-13T18:40:43Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > Ma’am. No wonder they call you… Never mind. I can annoy Yankees right here on the SDMB. I want to be _nice_ to them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/38 "2011-05-13T18:43:22Z")
It’s a reminder that I’m old and that I look old. But that’s my issue and “excuse me, ma’am” really is the best alternative for a stranger to get my attention about something. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/39 "2011-05-13T18:46:11Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > If I travel North of the Mason-Dixon, how may I politely address women ? I use people’s names. That’s what they’re for. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739/40 "2011-05-13T18:46:17Z")
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to break the habit of saying ‘sir’ and “ma’am”. Then again, I don’t know if I should. If someone doesn’t like being addressed politely, I don’t think that’s my problem. I use both terms for young and old alike. Women in their teens are sometimes taken aback a bit; young men think it’s cool and do it back to me. It’s all good. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-being-called-maam/581739.md?page=3)