# Does anyone else hate Sookie Stackhouse? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 18, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866 "2009-08-18T17:51:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/21 "2009-08-19T18:35:43Z")
> [@Tenebras](#): > > What’s the line? I gave up after 2 books. I’ll try to remember to look it up & post it tonight (I’m at work). ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/22 "2009-08-19T19:39:37Z")
Oh, please do post it. I have to see this for myself. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/23 "2009-08-19T20:06:52Z")
It was something along the lines of “my breasts were quivering like puppies begging to be petted” or something of equal _ahem_ literary merit. Hey, nobody ever claimed these books were fine literature, or even literature at all. And Sookie is the mary sue-est Mary Sue that ever mary sued. But they’re fun little books to while away a plane ride or to read a chapter or so at bedtime when you’re not quite ready to turn out the light, but don’t want any mental stimulation. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/24 "2009-08-20T02:24:12Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > It was something along the lines of “my breasts were quivering like puppies begging to be petted” or something of equal _ahem_ literary merit. > > Hey, nobody ever claimed these books were fine literature, or even literature at all. And Sookie is the mary sue-est Mary Sue that ever mary sued. But they’re fun little books to while away a plane ride or to read a chapter or so at bedtime when you’re not quite ready to turn out the light, but don’t want any mental stimulation. Exactly. Here are the lines in question from Dead to the World: “While I stood stock-still, paralyzed by conflicting waves of emotion, Eric took the soap out of my hands and lathered up his own, set the soap back in its little niche, and began to wash my arms, raising each in turn to stroke my armpit, down my side, never touching my breasts, which were practically quivering like puppies who wanted to be petted.” Then the one about Mr. Happy, later in that same scene (if you couldn’t tell, they’re in the shower): “As I stepped very close to him, I kind of folded Mr. Happy up against Eric’s stomach, so I could reach around and get my fingers on that absolutely gorgeous butt.” Reading the above, I kept thinking, “No one puts Mr. Happy in the corner!” ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/25 "2009-08-20T02:54:03Z")
Well, what if Hemingway wrote it? > [@](#): > > Eric had my puppies now and before and always puppies and puppies and puppies. Oh puppies, puppies, puppies, only puppies and above all puppies. For there is no other puppies than puppies and puppies is thy prophet. Puppies and forever puppies. Cum puppies, puppies, puppies, puppies there are no puppies but puppies. Yes puppies. > > “ Puppies, puppies, puppies, please puppies… not anything else but puppies; not why, not how, and please only puppies, always puppies, going puppies, rising puppies, sailing puppies, leaving puppies, wheeling puppies, soaring puppies, away puppies, all the way puppies…puppies, puppies…” said Eric. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/26 "2009-08-20T03:44:06Z")
Please tell me you made up that Mr. Happy quote! ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/27 "2009-08-20T04:21:46Z")
I read the first couple, couldn’t stand them any longer and gave up. I’ve read one other book by Harris and it was truly wretched, so I think I just dislike her. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/28 "2009-08-20T04:54:43Z")
“Quivering puppies”?? Seriously? I’m out. I was thinking I might start reading the series, but it sounds like the TV show may actually be better than what it’s based on. I opted for _Catcher in the Rye_ and _Atlas Shrugged_ at the bookstore instead. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/29 "2009-08-20T13:28:13Z")
> [@Ruffian](#): > > “Quivering puppies”?? Seriously? I’m out. I was thinking I might start reading the series, but it sounds like the TV show may actually be better than what it’s based on. I opted for _Catcher in the Rye_ and _Atlas Shrugged_ at the bookstore instead. Last time I made a Sookie run at Borders, I picked up Mansfield Park as well, just so I wouldn’t feel so dirty. I do think the TV show is far superior. I guess I sympathize with Harris somewhat - it’s got to be difficult to write soft porn. If your narrator isn’t free to say “cock” and similarly brazen words, but you’re trying to be explicit about what’s happening, well, things can get silly. I often wonder where the hell Harris’s editor is though. I can see wandering into some of the literary dead ends she does, but why isn’t it corrected? ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/30 "2009-08-20T13:33:07Z")
And just so I don’t sound high and mighty, **Unauthorized Cinnamon** , I also picked up the latest _People_ magazine at the bookstore. A little junk to go with the classics–dessert after the meal, as it were. Of course, what did I start reading first? ::😊:: ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/31 "2009-08-20T13:42:28Z")
To be fair, the sex scenes in the books are particularly bad, and the books are not really filled with them. Most of the writing is not that gag-inducing. I mean, I’m not really mounting a big defense of the books, here, because they are trashy fluff and I fully recognize that. But if the entire series was as bad as that god-awful “breast puppies” scene, I wouldn’t have bothered. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/32 "2009-08-20T16:31:05Z")
I don’t know. I also found this gem–Sookie tells Bill about being molestered. > [@](#): > > “Don’t leave me now,” he said. “Stay.” > “I’m a weepy ol’ thing tonight.” two tears trickled down my cheeks and I smiled at him. Gag. And I hated how he was always referring to her as “his.” I mean that’s creepy in Twilight but it’s supposed to be cool here? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/33 "2009-08-20T16:43:52Z")
To address that point (includes spoilers for the rest of the series, if you care): Well, she does get pretty sick of it herself after awhile, and dumps him somewhere around book 2. As of book 9, she hasn’t taken him back and is showing no real signs that she intends to. ---
**Author:** ![TheSparrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@TheSparrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheSparrow)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/34 "2009-08-24T04:23:12Z")
If you’re opting for scholarly reads then why are you buying paperback vampire mysteries? READ THE BACK COVER TO SEE WHAT THEY’RE ABOUT then maybe pick up a book by Ayn Rand or Joseph Conrad. Nobody is nominating Charlaine Harris for a Pulitzer! I find them fun and easy, I can get through a Sookie Stackhouse novel in about a week and it’s a happy little read. I’m not planning basing my thesis on Charlaine Harris’ body of work. Secondly (as it has been noted here) sex scenes are incredibly difficult to write and make sound good especially when you can’t use explicit vulgarity. Having family from North Louisiana I know girls like that…they would never utter the words “cock” or “pussy” as long as they live, sure Mr. Happy is corny but how else does someone who doesn’t swear describe a penis? I can’t, however, defend the breast puppy thing or the mud people. I didn’t even know what the hell that was supposed to mean. Furthermore, my breasts have never “quivered” as long as I’ve been alive. 🙂 Again, it is what it is. It would stand to reason that she repeats herself in all of the books incase someone reads a latter novel before the predecessor. If you don’t like cheesy mysteries, trashy romance novels, or supernaturals simply don’t read these books but don’t waste time reading up to book 8 just to get online and complain about it! You’re making the despised Harris rich and making yourself look like the literary dunce. ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/35 "2009-08-24T04:36:59Z")
Engaging in a deliciously stupid activity solely for the purpose of complaining loudly about the degree of stupidity afterwards is a rather common human activity. Srsly ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/36 "2009-08-24T04:40:55Z")
Actually, I didn’t get up till book 8. I barely made it through book one with my sanity intact. Besides, one of my hobbies is snarking horrible books. And reading snark of horrid television shows (see also Television Without Pity). Is it so much to ask for a vampire book that’s intelligent, funny, a page-turner, well-written, and doesn’t refer to orgasms as “white with gold streaks” (seriously, is Bill ejaculating sparkle?)? Well, I’ll let you know when “Let the Right One In” gets here. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/37 "2009-08-24T15:12:58Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Is it so much to ask for a vampire book that’s intelligent, funny, a page-turner, well-written, and doesn’t refer to orgasms as “white with gold streaks” (seriously, is Bill ejaculating sparkle?)? I quite enjoyed the [Sonja Blue](http://www.amazon.com/Midnight-Blue-Sonja-Collection/dp/1565049004) series. Check it out, if you haven’t already- it’s a fairly old trilogy. I hate that vampires are almost always treated as tragic, romantic figures. I want a book where they’re undead, dammit. [Vampire$](http://www.amazon.com/Vampires-John-Steakley/dp/B002HRELFE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251126729&sr=1-1) was a good one. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/38 "2009-08-24T15:31:46Z")
> [@Lightnin](#): > > I quite enjoyed the [Sonja Blue](http://www.amazon.com/Midnight-Blue-Sonja-Collection/dp/1565049004) series. Check it out, if you haven’t already- it’s a fairly old trilogy. > > I hate that vampires are almost always treated as tragic, romantic figures. I want a book where they’re undead, dammit. [Vampire$](http://www.amazon.com/Vampires-John-Steakley/dp/B002HRELFE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251126729&sr=1-1) was a good one. If you want really creepy, nasty vampires, try Ilona Andrews. Jim Butcher’s vamps aren’t romantic figures, either. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/39 "2009-08-24T16:47:25Z")
> [@TheSparrow](#): > > Secondly (as it has been noted here) sex scenes are incredibly difficult to write and make sound good especially when you can’t use explicit vulgarity. Having family from North Louisiana I know girls like that…they would never utter the words “cock” or “pussy” as long as they live, sure Mr. Happy is corny but how else does someone who doesn’t swear describe a penis? . Uh, you use your _brain_ – Romance novelists seem to manage it just fine – to the tune of 10.7 BILLION dollars in sales in 2007 alone. Very few romance novels use vulgar sexual terms. It’s not rocket science but it does take some skill and effort. There’s actually nothing wrong with using “Mr. Happy” as a term for a penis but it has to be in the right context or tone. That particular phrase is completely out of tone for that scene… not sure which is lacking - skill or effort - but something is. Jennifer Crusie is a romance author particularly adept at writing sex scenes which are funny but not silly. BTW It’s obnoxious to paint all Romance novels as all containing poor writing. It is categorically not true, and the most popular authors are usually the best writers as well. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866/40 "2009-08-24T17:03:49Z")
Plus, there’s nothing vulgar about “penis.” It may offend some, but I’d rather see “penis” or “cock” a thousand times before reading about Mr. Happy. Mr. Happy just makes me think about what some creepy uncle would have his niece tell him to call it just before he molested her. (Though given Sookie’s…uh, past, this is sort of realistic!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-hate-sookie-stackhouse/506866.md?page=3)