# Does anyone else object to being called "sir" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 12, 2005, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164 "2005-03-12T08:21:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/61 "2005-03-14T07:53:33Z")
Being a male in his mid-20s, I get called “mate” by service staff all the time in Australia and the UK. It doesn’t sound over-friendly to me. > [@delphica](#): > > Why don’t they receive it? I mean, you could use it back at them. To the waiter – “Excuse me, sir? We’re ready for the check when you have a moment.” I don’t think it means servile, I think it means “hey you person whose name I don’t know.” I don’t hear many customers call their serving staff “sir” (of course, I don’t live in America’s south), which is why I don’t like to be called the same. ---
**Author:** ![Skellington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Skellington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skellington)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/62 "2005-03-14T12:15:25Z")
You have to be really careful. Any officer has to be called sir (unless oyu are above them, then you call them by their rank), anyone lower than an officer must be called by their rank. If you call an officer (above you) by their (or any other rank) rank they violently remove you from their office ☹ . If you call someone who is not an officer ‘sir’ they normally say: “Don’t call me sir! I work for a living!” :mad: Personally I like being called miss, madam, ma’am, etc. it’s better than honey, cutie, love, hey chick, etc. BTW, smilies: we have 15 basic emotions and this ;j ! Is ‘happy orthodox jewish man’ a basic emotion now?! ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/63 "2005-03-14T12:21:53Z")
I still often use ‘mate’. Failing that I do not use any title at all. I simply address the person or ask the question. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/64 "2005-03-14T14:06:40Z")
> [@UnwrittenNocturne](#): > > I do not have a knighthood, nor would I want one. Well, I’m sure you’re safe on this one. Please don’t fret: even in the Midwest, I have never heard _sir_ used sarcastically. When someone says it to you they are making an attempt to be respectiful or polite. Try to think of it as one of those little Americanisms that make us so damn quaint. BTW—I’ve been confused by the whole “Don’t call me ‘sir,’ I work for a living” thing when in _Full Metal Jacket_ the recruits had to refer to the seargent (sp?) as “sir.” ---
**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/65 "2005-03-14T15:50:23Z")
I grew up calling people “sir” and “ma’am,” and I still do it. “Ma’am” has never made me feel old. The kids I tutor call me “Miz Burundi.” It’s their teacher’s preference, not mine, but I’ve gotten used to it. When I was working retail, people, especially middle-aged people, would occasionally say, “I’m not that old! Don’t call me sir!,” to which I would think, “Okay, _jackass_.” There are much worse things to be called. I can understand why it might take some getting used to, but for the most part the people who use it really are just trying to be polite. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/66 "2005-03-14T21:13:35Z")
My parents taught me to call adult men sir, and my father taught by example. Now in my 40’s, I still call people I don’t know sir. And I use it regardless of social station. Yes, I say “Excuse me, sir, may I have another beer” to a waiter or bartender. It’s just respect, not a sign of standing. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/67 "2005-03-14T21:20:15Z")
And, I forgot to add, if you don’t know me, you shouldn’t be calling me dear, sweetie, buddy, pal, or anything of that ilk. I rarely say anything when people do it, but it still bothers me. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/68 "2005-03-14T21:57:45Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] “Sir” would kind of creep me out 😉 QUOTE] I don’t much like it either 🙂 This actually does happen - but only over the telephone. I have a very deep voice for a female and am somewhat used to being called **Mr. Zappa**. “Ma’am” is fine. And I use Sir/Ma’am regularly when I’m trying to be polite to a stranger (or back in my fast-food days, to most customers whether they were strange or not). For some reason, though, whenever a store clerk whom I’ve never met before addresses me as “Mrs. Zappa” this oogs me out. Clearly they get it from the credit card I’ve just used to pay for my stuff, and it’s something they’re trained to do, but it just seems _weird_ that there’s this stranger who knows my name :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/69 "2005-03-14T22:08:17Z")
It is a bit disconcerting, even though I’m middle-aged, but I really don’t object to it. I had no idea anyone other than non-coms would. (“Don’t call me sir! I work for a living!” LOL!) If it’s a salesperson at a store, I will “sir” or “ma’am” them in return out of politeness. (I’m a bit ashamed that it took me more years than it should have to figure this out.) I always address a stranger as “sir” or “ma’am”. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/70 "2005-03-14T22:14:58Z")
In my previous jobs, I worked in telephone customer service and spoke with a lot of nice southern people. I always identified myself immediately with my first name. Nice southern gentlemen would still call me ma’am. Oddly, the southern women I spoke with never used that term, but almost always called me “dear”. I didn’t mind either because it seems to be local custom. If a man calls me dear, sweetie or honey, I’m going to assume he is a condescending prick, however. If some local schmoe calls me ma’am, they’re getting a raised eyebrow. That is most certainly not the norm in my area, and certainly not for someone of my age. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/71 "2005-03-14T22:45:02Z")
> [@Cyros](#): > > If a man calls me dear, sweetie or honey, I’m going to assume he is a condescending prick, however. Oh, please don’t think that. I know that as I get older, I’ve caught myself doing calling women “luv”. It’s something I would have cringed at doing ten years ago, but now it just slips out sometimes (usually in an informal situation with a stranger - eg. she holds a door open for me and I’ll say “thanks luv”). I don’t mean to be condescending at all. It kinda just pops out. I also like it when older or elderly women call me “love” or “dearie” etc in the same sort of context. I find it quite genuine and friendly, not to mention nicely old-fashioned. My #1 pet hate however is when I’m a shop customer or a bank or insurance company client and the employee I’m talking to uses my name (either given name or surmane, it doesn’t matter) because I’ve given it to them as a piece of information they’ve asked for, either verbally or on a form. BUT I DON’T KNOW THAT PERSON’S NAME. That irks me. I didn’t give them my name as part of a social “please, call me… such-and-such” ritual. I gave it to them because I HAD TO. There is a difference, IMHO. I’d rather continue to be called “sir”. All they have to do is say “Hi I’m Maria. How may I help you?” and then there’s no problem. But if I don’t have an opportunity to know their name, then I don’t want them to use mine. Stick with “sir” or something. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/72 "2005-03-14T22:55:32Z")
> [@TheLoadedDog](#): > > Oh, please don’t think that. I know that as I get older, I’ve caught myself doing calling women “luv”. It’s something I would have cringed at doing ten years ago, but now it just slips out sometimes (usually in an informal situation with a stranger - eg. she holds a door open for me and I’ll say “thanks luv”). I don’t mean to be condescending at all. It kinda just pops out. Well, if you say it in a lovely Australian accent, you may be forgiven 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2005, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164/73 "2005-03-14T22:56:28Z")
> [@Cyros](#): > > Well, if you say it in a lovely Australian accent, you may be forgiven 😉 No bloody worries, luv. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-else-object-to-being-called-sir/294164.md?page=3)