# Does anyone here thing porn is bad? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 11, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038 "2005-03-11T16:16:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/61 "2005-03-12T13:20:26Z")
**nocturne** and I prefer amateur porn - somehow it is more real, but our tastes are pretty wide and we watch it together. We certainly have preferences for a few things when we do watch, and we realise that it is all part of the fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/62 "2005-03-12T17:09:29Z")
> [@archmichael](#): > > What is so necessarily bad about ‘unrealistic expectations’? And if it is that bad, why is only pornography demonized for doing so? Well, the unrealistic expectations create a sense of what is right and wrong in a given situation and these may not be what are right or wrong in an actual situation. For instance, I may be a shy, unassuming teenager who views pornography and feels that it’s prefectly normal to [insert whatever particular kink you’re into] without advance warning to my partner and the first time I finally get one and decide to [whatever it is] because I believe it to be the natural order of things, I end up with someone who is hurt, either physically or emotionally. I trust you can see how this could be bad. > [@](#): > > There are always a few people who cannot distinguish between fantasy and reality. They will quickly learn what reality is, or suffer. The problem is not in the expectations, but in the individual. And so will the people who are on the receiving end of someone’s unrealistic expectations. The expectations belong to the individual and are therefore their problem. > [@](#): > > There are a lot of romantic movies that protray men and women as always being attractive. They give unrealistic expectations of how ‘romantic’ courtships should be. The person with the ‘flaw’ can always be redeemed. The person trying to redeem the ‘flawed’ person, is shown as being heroic. People always make the right choice in the end. If love making takes place, it is always touching yet soul-shakingly passionate. Why is this sort of unrealistic expectation ignored or applauded? Do you have any specific examples? I have a feeling that in…all of them…the dramatic structure will posit a second-act character flaw that makes the person undesirable and shows that working past differences is good. All that said, I think the “…not for stupid people” response by one poster was right one the money, but honestly, can you realistically expect to stop numbskulls from getting their hands on that stuff (whatever it may be)? ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/63 "2005-03-12T17:12:01Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Wrong turn **Chairman Pow**? Holy Christ, I wondered where that post went (as well as wondering what I posted in this thread). Crap. ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/64 "2005-03-12T18:23:23Z")
Porn good. Soft core porn better. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/65 "2005-03-12T18:42:20Z")
Comedian Patton Oswalt said something like “I love women. You know what I like even better? Porn. You see, I can **get** porn…” ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/66 "2005-03-12T19:36:18Z")
> [@Chairman Pow](#): > > All that said, I think the “…not for stupid people” response by one poster was right one the money, but honestly, can you realistically expect to stop numbskulls from getting their hands on that stuff (whatever it may be)? I’m not sure if anyone expects numbskulls to not view porn. The numbskulls’ own expectations will be repeatedly dashed, unless someone decides to teach them. Someone else in this thread mentioned that porn shouldn’t be used as sexual education, and I agree. Can we stop the numbskulls? No, and it’s not realistic to expect to. What do we do about it? Nothing… let them learn on their own. A real life partner will bring them back to earth. They’ll either learn from the experience, or they won’t. If they never learn, well, they’ve got deeper problems than porn. (All just MHO, I’m sure there are some exceptions, etc. Apologies if I missed someone’s point, as I just woke up, and my post isn’t meant to sound snarky, if it does… if it doesn’t, carry on!) ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/67 "2005-03-12T20:58:16Z")
I watch a lot of porn. I have my porn that gets me going and provides masturbation material, and then I just watch the random porn they show on websites where they have funny pics and videos. I’ve seen pretty much every porn that’s out there and I like looking at the really freaky stuff. Watching porn has not turned me into a sexual deviant. I have only had sex with one partner and it was in a long term relationship. It has not made me engage in risky sexual behaviors or have unrealistic expectations in the bedroom. I think that anyone who would think that porn is exactly like real life is stupid and if not porn, would pick some other unrealistic thing to base their sexual ‘experience’ off of. Watching porn made me feel better about my own body. Every single body time you can imagine, someone finds sexy and there are even fetish sites for. If all you watch is the stuff that sells for $70 at the superstores, then you might think differently, but most of what is available online features normal women. I can’t imagine dating someone who didn’t watch porn. ---
**Author:** ![archmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@archmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/archmichael)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/68 "2005-03-12T21:28:14Z")
> [@Chairman Pow](#): > > Well, the unrealistic expectations create a sense of what is right and wrong in a given situation and these may not be what are right or wrong in an actual situation. > > For instance, I may be a shy, unassuming teenager who views pornography and feels that it’s prefectly normal to [insert whatever particular kink you’re into] without advance warning to my partner and the first time I finally get one and decide to [whatever it is] because I believe it to be the natural order of things, I end up with someone who is hurt, either physically or emotionally. > > I trust you can see how this could be bad. Yes, it would be bad. But I don’t understand this need to protect young people from possible bad things happening. Will thousands of young boys do the head push toward the crotch? Yup. Will thousands of young boys go for the crotch grab? Yup. They will learn real quickly that it is unacceptable behavior. I think porn has the ability in awaken desires, but I don’t think it forces people to go against their nature. Just as exposing a young man to a whole bunch of gay pop-up ads and movies will not give him ‘gay’ if he doesnt have the proclivity, your shy, unassuming teenager will not suddenly become a hair tuggin, throat gagger. > [@Chairman Pow](#): > > And so will the people who are on the receiving end of someone’s unrealistic expectations. Most people have expectations, and they will usually come into conflict with someone else’s expectations. Thousands of girls will decide to wait until marriage to have sex. They will meet guys who will pressure them to have sex, and when it’s apparent that sex wont happen, they wil l break the girls heart. So now we have one instance where one persons expectation has ‘hurt’ another. Is this worthy of prevention also? > [@Chairman Pow](#): > > Do you have any specific examples? I have a feeling that in…all of them…the dramatic structure will posit a second-act character flaw that makes the person undesirable and shows that working past differences is good. I would like to refrain from getting into specifics, unless you are stating that romance movies don’t give unrealistic expectations about courtship. Let me get to a deeper point. A lot of the ‘unrealistic expectation’ people seem to be under the impression that if more realistic porn is shown or if there is no porn that people stop having unrealistic expectations. This is far from the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/69 "2005-03-13T05:43:35Z")
> [@Chairman Pow](#): > > Will this help me learn calculus? No, if there’s one thing porn WON’T do, it’s help you learn calculus. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/70 "2005-03-13T16:51:29Z")
> [@Joey P](#): > > No, if there’s one thing porn WON’T do, it’s help you learn calculus. You’re obviously no porn expert. Just OTTOMH Debbie Does Differential Calculus Sines, Cosines, Sins And Kissing Cousins Lesbians & Lemmas Quadratic Sluts And my personal favorite Slideruled This classic features a gorgeous instructor teaching her class of hot coeds not only calculus, but the proper use of sliderules. Besides the most common variety, they use disc rules and, for obvious reasons, many cylindrical rules. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/71 "2005-03-13T18:49:07Z")
Don’t forget about the classic movie “Napier’s BONE”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@The\_Hook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hook)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/72 "2005-03-13T20:12:05Z")
Most porn comes from the entertainment _ **industry** _. Of course it will create an illusion and false expectations to any of the morons who actually believe men and women behave like that in bed. If they’re looking for a stimulus, something to be entertained with and a… helping hand, then that’s great. Porn is not for learning. Nobody actually believes (I sincerely hope) that John Wayne movies are 100% accurate portrayals of the war, right? The same goes with porn. If you want to learn about sex, READ. Reading is the best way. You can also watch instructional videos (hopefully not the extreme softcore variety where you still don’t know what to do) such as Nina Hartley’s or the ones about squirting (the real squirting). That is good. That is safe. Also, here’s another vote for amateur. Go amateur. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038/73 "2005-03-13T22:32:25Z")
> [@Joey P](#): > > No, if there’s one thing porn WON’T do, it’s help you learn calculus. Does [this](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0006U6KIK/102-1969887-2491344?v=glance) count? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-here-thing-porn-is-bad/294038.md?page=3)