# Does anyone you know claim to know the identity of the Messiah? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2005, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140 "2005-11-15T08:11:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/21 "2005-11-15T20:18:14Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > There is a current, long time and well-known poster here who claimed (apparently in all seriousness) to know, at one time. I do not know if he/she still holds that belief, so I’ll not name any names. Some may recall this from a year or so ago. I do, and I’d dearly wish to know who he/she was talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/22 "2005-11-15T20:22:34Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > None of the above, and it was someone not then nor now considered a nutjob or a prankster, though I personally found the claim a little :dubious: . I remember it too, from back when I was lurking. I thought it was a little…odd as well. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/23 "2005-11-15T20:36:31Z")
Yes, he is a sex offender in L.A. that bowls in a midnight league. Don’t f\*ck with the Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/24 "2005-11-15T20:45:38Z")
Pssst…guys… **Cecil** is backstage, waiting for his nomination and tapping his foot angrily. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/25 "2005-11-15T20:47:54Z")
You’re all wrong. My cousin’s second husband is the messiah and he lives in the hills of Tennessee. He only comes off the mountain to preach on street corners and tell women they’re going to hell for wearing makeup. My cousin truly believes he is the Christ and supports him so he doesn’t have to “live in the world”. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/26 "2005-11-15T21:03:15Z")
Ooh! I portrayed Jesus in a tableau of DaVinci’s The Last Supper, set up by a photography major when I was a long-haired freak in Art School – does that count? What did I win? ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/27 "2005-11-15T21:09:58Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > Let’s sum this up, now - Jesus is: > > 33 years old Take heart. If all goes according to history, she’ll be crucified soon. **Q.E.D.** , move over…I need room, too. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/28 "2005-11-16T00:51:03Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > “We’re gonna need the biiiiiiig cross for this one, Boss!” > I am sooo going to Hell. > [@Elza B](#): > > Take heart. If all goes according to history, she’ll be crucified soon. > > Q.E.D., move over…I need room, too. I love you guys. These are exactly the type of responses I pay to stick around for. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/29 "2005-11-16T01:34:22Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > None of the above, and it was someone not then nor now considered a nutjob or a prankster, though I personally found the claim a little :dubious: . What’s with all the teasing? Have I stumbled onto a state secret? Linkie please. Or has the thread been deleted? This is weird. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/30 "2005-11-16T01:41:01Z")
If it isn’t glaringly obvious by now, I’m trying to spare the poster in question any further humiliation by digging up what may or may not be something he/she would prefer to be left in the past, fer Chrissakes. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/31 "2005-11-16T01:58:20Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > If it isn’t glaringly obvious by now, I’m trying to spare the poster in question any further humiliation by digging up what may or may not be something he/she would prefer to be left in the past, fer Chrissakes. It’s Cecil Adams?! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/32 "2005-11-16T07:20:37Z")
> [@Dewey Finn](#): > > I think that sect still believes [Menachem Schneerson] is the Messiah, despite his death. AFAIK, only a small percentage of Lubavitcher still think Schneerson is the messiah. The rest have accepted that he wasn’t, though they still revere him as teacher and an example to be followed. Re The Mystery Poster And The Messiah IIRC, MP explained that they did not expect the messiah in question to establish G-d’s kingdom on earth or anything quite so grand. But, MP did expect this messiah to lead, teach, and eventually sacrifice themselves in order to improve the world. I believe a comparison to Gandhi was made. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/33 "2005-11-16T07:51:29Z")
It’s threads like this that make me look forward to switching on my computer. You guys are nuts, and that’s a good thing. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/34 "2005-11-16T09:44:52Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > It’s Cecil Adams?! No, a parrotfish! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/35 "2005-11-16T10:01:11Z")
A quick search reveals that it was/is…[drum roll]… **Polycarp** Not so much of a surprise - he does have some kooky views on Christianity. For those who want to learn more about this doe-eyed blond fellow and his accomplice, check out the thread called [post=4289265]How would the church know Jesus returned?[/post] Damn it, **Poly** , you’re one loony toon! And you shouldn’t be causing the elect to stray, you know… Weirdest thing I ever read. You’re spot on, **Mellivora capensis**. Nuts. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/36 "2005-11-16T10:56:22Z")
If **roger** wouldn’t have posted that, I would have. What’s the big secret? For those who don’t want to read the long thread, though I suggest that you do because it is very entertaining, **Polycarp** said that he believed that a young, gay grandson of the founder of Walmart could be Him. This was based on a long defunct web site that the kid had created. Very strange indeed. ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/37 "2005-11-16T13:06:57Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > If **roger** wouldn’t have posted that, I would have. What’s the big secret? > > For those who don’t want to read the long thread, though I suggest that you do because it is very entertaining, **Polycarp** said that he believed that a young, gay grandson of the founder of Walmart could be Him. This was based on a long defunct web site that the kid had created. Very strange indeed. And no one has a copy of the text of that web site? I’d like more information, and I mean that in an academic way. What arguments did he have, what’s his story, etc. Sam Walton was the richest guy in history w/ 90.5 BILLION dollars- he’s about as close to god on earth as you can get :D. Now how crazy can it be to think that his descendant would be the son of god? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/38 "2005-11-16T13:10:30Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > “We’re gonna need the biiiiiiig cross for this one, Boss!” > > I am sooo going to Hell. I’ll save you a seat. “Straight Dopers, party of one million, your ‘special place’ is ready” ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/39 "2005-11-16T14:13:31Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > For those who don’t want to read the long thread, though I suggest that you do because it is very entertaining, **Polycarp** said that he believed that a young, gay grandson of the founder of Walmart could be Him. This was based on a long defunct web site that the kid had created. Very strange indeed. I had never known who he had been refering too… ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/40 "2005-11-17T00:40:09Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > For those who don’t want to read the long thread, though I suggest that you do because it is very entertaining, Polycarp said that he believed that a young, gay grandson of the founder of Walmart could be Him. This was based on a long defunct web site that the kid had created. Very strange indeed. > [@clairobscur](#): > > I had never known who he had been refering to… Got a cite/link for the Walmart claim, **hajario**? There seems to be a whole nexus of threads - each with many many posts - on this strange topic. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140.md?page=3)