# Does anyone you know claim to know the identity of the Messiah? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2005, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140 "2005-11-15T08:11:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/41 "2005-11-17T01:16:44Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > Got a cite/link for the Walmart claim, **hajario**? There seems to be a whole nexus of threads - each with many many posts - on this strange topic. As I recall, there was a Pit thread spawned by the original GD thread. I don’t have the link but it might not be too difficult to find. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/42 "2005-11-17T11:34:49Z")
Isn’t jet lag great? I have time to do all kinds of things like finding [this!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=226859) ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/43 "2005-11-18T03:37:57Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > I have time to do all kinds of things like finding [this!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=226859) Ilsa Lund’s comment on p. 13 (!) of the thread\* about the Walmart-heir-cum-Messiah is priceless: “No wonder they have everyday low prices!” What a load of bollocks, though. And isn’t it strange that, yet again, when someone picks on someone else to be saviour of the world, it just happens to be someone who, to be associated with, raises the status of the rumour-monger? Never just some unfashionable kid from, say, next door. Perhaps it affords the nearest thing to self-selection that one can get. - And yes I read the whole thing. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/44 "2005-11-18T04:03:47Z")
Don’t forget about [Stan Marsh](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=345205) ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/45 "2005-11-18T04:35:38Z")
> [@TJdude825](#): > > Don’t forget about [Stan Marsh](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=345205) Never heard of him. And not much interested in finding out. Dealing with one nutter is enough… ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/46 "2005-11-18T06:31:23Z")
If you’re gonna read the thread he linked to, just skip to page 13. That’s where the identity is revealed and the fun begins. ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/47 "2005-11-18T07:24:53Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > If you’re gonna read the thread he linked to, just skip to page 13. That’s where the identity is revealed and the fun begins. No, even then he doesn’t reveal the identity. > [@roger thornhill](#): > > Ilsa Lund’s comment on p. 13 (!) of the thread\* about the Walmart-heir-cum-Messiah is priceless: “No wonder they have everyday low prices!” > > What a load of bollocks, though. And isn’t it strange that, yet again, when someone picks on someone else to be saviour of the world, it just happens to be someone who, to be associated with, raises the status of the rumour-monger? Never just some unfashionable kid from, say, next door. Perhaps it affords the nearest thing to self-selection that one can get. > > - And yes I read the whole thing. You must be talking about a different thread about the topic where he reveals the identity and everyone jokes about it- that’s not the one linked to; the one linked to is the one where he strings everybody along for a long time until ending w/ a vague description. **WHERE IS THIS THREAD I WANT?!** Sorry, just wanted to make the question stand out ;). ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/48 "2005-11-18T07:25:56Z")
To clarify, I want the thread where he reveals the identity completely and everybody jokes about it. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/49 "2005-11-18T07:37:59Z")
I met a guy once who thought he was Jesus. He had mental problems (duh). He started coming to church activities in the congregation of single college students I belonged to at the time, just every so often, and at one point cornered me and talked a lot about money (though not about his secret identity; that came out later). He was very fixated on wealth. A roommate of mine tried to talk him out of his delusion, which struck me as rather pointless. Then one day he went to a car dealership and tried to buy a fancy car and put it on our pastor’s bill, because he was Jesus. _That_ was interesting. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/50 "2005-11-18T07:43:34Z")
> [@dangermom](#): > > I met a guy once who thought he was Jesus. He had mental problems (duh). He started coming to church activities in the congregation of single college students I belonged to at the time, just every so often, and at one point cornered me and talked a lot about money (though not about his secret identity; that came out later). He was very fixated on wealth. A roommate of mine tried to talk him out of his delusion, which struck me as rather pointless. Then one day he went to a car dealership and tried to buy a fancy car and put it on our pastor’s bill, because he was Jesus. _That_ was interesting. Not wanting to poo on your parade, but that sounds kinda common-or-garden by comparision! ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/51 "2005-11-18T07:48:17Z")
> [@dangermom](#): > > I met a guy once who thought he was Jesus. That’s great, but we’re talking about the identity of the _Messiah_ ;). ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/52 "2005-11-18T07:53:19Z")
So roger thornhill, can you help me w/ a link to the thread where Polycarp finally revealed the name? And what’s interesting is, that no one **ever** mentioned it later on, not even as a joke- not even this past summer when John Walton died in the plane crash, when jokes were made and a reference would have fit well (was this part of God’s plan?) If anything, this show’s the Dope’s power of respect for long-time members (plus it’s kind of a personal topic, I guess; sex w/ sheep, OTOH :D…) ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/53 "2005-11-18T08:11:04Z")
**Andrew** , I think what MIGHT have happened here is that the said thread (or perhaps a post or posts) got disappeared. It is indeed in p 13 of the thread linked to by **haj** that **Ilsa Lund** makes the joke that can only be referring to Walmart - “No wonder they have everyday low prices!” [Way back when](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=210444&postcount=50), when **Poly** was a newbie, he’s still referring – albeit obliquely (some things never change) – to this Walmart messianic nonsense. At least, that’s what I take it do be (the titillating references to ‘major family crisis’, ‘dirty laundry’, ‘money’ , ‘intervention’ and being ‘burnt’ suggest we’re in the same ballpark). > [@](#): > > I inadvertently learned how S. Robson, Sam’s son, handled a major family crisis, and while I have no intention of bringing out his dirty laundry here, can I state that it was handled with a lot of human compassion and common sense, and that he used his money to intervene in behalf of a friend of his son’s who was “burned” by the situation. Just this one result for search for **polycarp** and walmart, btw. ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/54 "2005-11-18T08:50:26Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > **Andrew** , I think what MIGHT have happened here is that the said thread (or perhaps a post or posts) got disappeared. It is indeed in p 13 of the thread linked to by **haj** that **Ilsa Lund** makes the joke that can only be referring to Walmart - “No wonder they have everyday low prices!” > > [Way back when](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=210444&postcount=50), when **Poly** was a newbie, he’s still referring – albeit obliquely (some things never change) – to this Walmart messianic nonsense. At least, that’s what I take it do be (the titillating references to ‘major family crisis’, ‘dirty laundry’, ‘money’ , ‘intervention’ and being ‘burnt’ suggest we’re in the same ballpark).Just this one result for search for **polycarp** and walmart, btw. That post you link to was made years before the 2003 claim to the messiah- it wasn’t a reference, it’s actually a humorous look at Poly’s pre-messianic references to WalMart :D. For instance, he says then: > [@](#): > > Note: I have no interest in the WalMart chain other than the remote possibility that one of my 401(K) retirement plan’s mutual fund investments may possibly own a few shares of WalMart Stores - it does not to my knowledge do so, but I don’t know all of what it has invested in. We are talking fractions of cents here, anyway. He had no idea how much more interest he’d have later on ;). ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/55 "2005-11-18T10:02:26Z")
No, **Poly** ’s been saving this up ‘for years’ (see bolded part below): > [@Polycarp 2003](#): > > With regard to the OP [How would the church know Jesus returned?], **it’s been my feeling for years** that, although there are several theories regarding the timing of the Second Coming…blah…vanilla…“standard” (pre-tribulation) doctrine…not…going to happen…blah… Davidic kingdom… observance of Torah…kingdom of righteousness…liberals…blah…some mystical, human dynamics mode of progress…blah blah blah…He will make Himself known fairly soon…blah blah blah > > (OK, finally there after the preamble\*) > > I have a very strong hunch that I do in fact know his identity – and his surname is already a household word. If I am correct, he is fairly short, a very handsome young man with dusky blonde hair and beautiful-but-insightful blue-green eyes, slightly disabled by a chronic heart-valve problem, in his late teens today. He will probably be accompanied by a companion since childhood, a dark-haired young man whose heart is given to him. Full text of post (only for the stout of heart) [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4289265&postcount=28). - In his reflections on the Republic, Karl Popper (The Open Society and Its Enemies, Vol I) notes how Plato gives, before his description of the discovery of justice, a ‘lengthy preface’ (Plato’s own words). Popper notes the use of such lengthy prefaces as ‘an ingenious attempt to prepare the reader for the “discovery of justice” by making him believe that here is an argument going on when in reality he is only faced with a display of dramatic devices, designed to soothe his critical faculties’. Popper also has some interesting things to say about mysticism and irrationalism. Here’s one (From OSE, Vol II): ‘As opposed to the intellectual irresponsibility of a mysticism which escapes into dreams and of an oracular philosophy which escapes into verbiage, modern science enforces upon our intellect the discipline of practical tests.’ ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/56 "2005-11-18T12:20:41Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > If there’s enough of them, someone could do a “World’s Wackiest Jesi” television show. This would be the only Reality TV I would watch. And it would even be funnier if it was done with the dubbing like Most Extreme Elimination. " Up next we have Stan who when he isn’t changing water into wine is a patent attorney in Philly." ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140/57 "2005-11-18T12:24:50Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > Damn it, **Poly** , you’re one loony toon! And you shouldn’t be causing the elect to stray, you know… > > Weirdest thing I ever read. You’re spot on, **Mellivora capensis**. Nuts. > [@roger thornhill](#): > > Never heard of him. And not much interested in finding out. Dealing with one nutter is enough… This isn’t the Pit, **roger** , so personal insults are right out. Please don’t do this again. As for the thread: this may have started out as a legitimate, non- **Polycarp** -centric thread, but it didn’t stay that way. If you all want to dissect another poster’s previous comments/beliefs like this, you need to do so in the Pit. And, quite frankly, you should be polite enough to let him know what you’re doing. This thread is closed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-anyone-you-know-claim-to-know-the-identity-of-the-messiah/331140.md?page=2)