# Does Arnold Winkelried really play the alphorn? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [March 31, 2001, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292 "2001-03-31T21:35:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FormerlyKnownAsBlank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@FormerlyKnownAsBlank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FormerlyKnownAsBlank)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2001, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/1 "2001-03-31T21:35:54Z")
Now that we’ve cleared up TubaDiva’s musical prowess, what about **Arnold Winkelried**? OK, and any other “titled” individuals. But mostly Arnold. Where do you practice so as not to bother the neighbors? ---
**Author:** ![tshirts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@tshirts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tshirts)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/2 "2001-04-02T05:50:09Z")
I thought he did. **sdimbert** even made a smilie depicting that, but when I went to look a cite, I found this: [Bananas and refrigerators](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=7984) > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \* > \*\*U.I. says > > > [@](#): > > > > Arnold, if you are actually a Wog, I offer my humblest apologies for giving offense. > > No fear, Ukulele, I’ve read enough of your (funny/informative) posts to know you wouldn’t use that word to insult someone. My question was more on the lines of “why would the owners of Chiquita Banana think that song would be meant for immigrants?” Wouldn’t it be more for the US natives that were unfamiliar with bananas? > > By the way, I’m of pure Swiss stock. I was thinking of choosing “Alphorn Seppi” as my screen name, because I like the ring of Ukulele Ike! But since I don’t know how to play any musical instrument I figured it would be uncouth of me to take that name. > > Actually the word “wog” is kind of funny. I believe there’s a “Fawlty Towers” episode where the older colonel that lives in the hotel says something like: > > No no, black people are niggers! The people from India are wogs. > > * * * > > La franchise ne consiste pas à dire tout ce que l’on pense, mais à penser tout ce que l’on dit. > H. de Livry \*\* I don’t think the other mods/admins play either. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/3 "2001-04-02T17:41:37Z")
File this under really fuckin’ obvious answers, but, yes, I _do_ drink beer. ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/4 "2001-04-02T20:29:02Z")
And yes, I _am_ an Alpha Male. I got first dibs on all the honies in the troop, and I’m the first to partake of the fetid deer carcass… ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/5 "2001-04-03T00:03:06Z")
But are you really named Gene? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/6 "2001-04-03T00:19:22Z")
OK, Blank, you’re not going to believe this. Rest assured, though, that this is the Straight Dope, dedicated to eradicating ignorance, and I wouldn’t lie to you. I play the tuba, too. And Ms. Diva or I either one could probably play an alphorn, if given the opportunity. Except for the lack of valves (so you have to bugle it) and the fact that it’s straightened out, it’s basically the same instrument. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/7 "2001-04-03T00:52:37Z")
Well, I was going to pretend to be an alphorn afficionado, but tshirts has already outed me. Chronos - you may think the Alphorn is easy, but only a true swiss, raised on the best cheese from mountain cows, can wring from that marvelous instrument the pure notes that it is capable of producing. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/8 "2001-04-03T00:54:51Z")
**Chronos:** BBb, CC, Eb or F? Concert, Sousaphone, Helicon, Wagner? Recording bell or straight? **Unc:** Yeah, but is it true that your nephews are named Huey, Dewey, and Lowenbrau? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2001, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/9 "2001-04-03T07:30:16Z")
Uke: BBb, and in whatever shape and configuration is handy. I actually haven’t played in a couple of years, since undergraduate scramble band, and you know how picky college bands are about instruments (i.e., not at all). My favorite, though, was a large-diameter, four-valve concert horn, but the section leader usually had dibs on that one. It also didn’t help that one of my specialties was alternate fingerings, such that I could play almost all of any given song with one or more valves completely stuck or otherwise unuseable (again, given my school’s selection of horns, this was an important skill). My other specialty, which I unfortunately never got to use in performance, was coaxing out the **really** low notes, like the E below low E (that’s the fundamental of the three-valve configuration, for you fellow physicists… In other words, the absolute lowest frequency at which the horn can possibly resonate). ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_and\_I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Cat\_and\_I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_and_I)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/10 "2001-04-09T00:59:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alphagene \* > \*\*And yes, I _am_ an Alpha Male. I got first dibs on all the honies in the troop, and I’m the first to partake of the fetid deer carcass… \*\* In your dreams, dork! We know what you look like. You’er a Pi Male. Pi for :wally. ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/11 "2001-04-09T17:10:21Z")
Heh. As furthert proof of my alpha male status, witness a lesser member of the troop feeling threatened and attempting to establish dominance. :swat: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_and\_I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Cat\_and\_I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_and_I)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/12 "2001-04-09T18:21:32Z")
I’m a she, dork. Want to compete with me on hormones? Well, since I have some and you have none, you lose even to me. Sad for such a braggart. ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-arnold-winkelried-really-play-the-alphorn/60292/13 "2001-04-09T20:06:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cat and I \* > **I’m a she, dork.** Then listen up, she-dork. The gratuitous insults are brilliant and all (“dork”? Twice?) but they’re really not appropriate for this forum, as you should know. They’re really not appropriate for _any_ forum, even the Pit. Not that I’d expect you to have the nerve to actually set foot there, but if you’d like to continue calling me a dork, or you care to further muse about what my hormone levels would be in your little world, I recommend you do it there or nowhere at all. That “alpha” enough for ya? Thought so.