# Does Bill O'Reilly know what a patriot is? Answer: No **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 21, 2008, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588 "2008-02-21T17:04:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/1 "2008-02-21T17:04:50Z")
> [@](#): > > On the patriotic front, rocker Bob Geldof, the Live Aid charity guy, is telling the press that America and President Bush have done great work in Africa with AIDS. You won’t hear that on NBC News. But Geldof speaks the truth, and for that is he a patriot. Is Bill O’Reilly retarded? Bob Geldof is Irish. What Geldof says about America and Bush is irrelevant to his patriotism unless he says something like I swear my allegiance to America and Bush in which case he would be a traitor not a patriot. [http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,331650,00.html](http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,331650,00.html) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/2 "2008-02-21T17:09:04Z")
Does Bill O’Reilly know how to find his own ass with both hands and a flashlight? Answer: No ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/3 "2008-02-21T17:17:44Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Does Bill O’Reilly know how to find his own ass with both hands and a flashlight? Answer: No [/QUOTE] If he’s using both hands to find his ass, where does he put the flashlight? ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/4 "2008-02-21T17:22:03Z")
[QUOTE=hotflungwok] If he’s using both hands to find his ass, where does he put the flashlight? [/QUOTE] I’m sure there’s an obvious answer to this, but it eludes me for the moment. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/5 "2008-02-21T17:30:52Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] I’m sure there’s an obvious answer to this, but it eludes me for the moment. [/QUOTE] He uses a pen light and keeps it next to his tongue. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/6 "2008-02-21T17:35:09Z")
Doesn’t he lodge it inside a loofah? ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/7 "2008-02-21T17:36:59Z")
O’Reilly IS an ass, so finding ass on himself is simply finding someplace to touch. Or something ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/8 "2008-02-21T17:37:28Z")
Don’t they have dogs in Sweden? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/9 "2008-02-21T17:45:55Z")
It appears that was part of an O’Reilly segment called “pinheads and patriots”, which works like the Colbert “tip of the hat/wag of the finger” segment: ie. you do something good, you’re a patriot, do something bad and you’re a pinhead. So this is a rather shitty Pitting. Besides, what the fuck are you watching/reading O’Reilly for anyway? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/10 "2008-02-21T17:47:09Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Don’t they have dogs in Sweden? That reminds me, **Lib** , good luck on that audition you have in Delphi next week. With work like that, you’re a shoo-in for the oracle role. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/11 "2008-02-21T17:52:47Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] It appears that was part of an O’Reilly segment called “pinheads and patriots”, which works like the Colbert “tip of the hat/wag of the finger” segment: ie. you do something good, you’re a patriot, do something bad and you’re a pinhead. So this is a rather shitty Pitting. [/quote] Then he misnamed the segment. Doing something good does not necessarily make you a patriot. > [@](#): > > Besides, what the fuck are you watching/reading O’Reilly for anyway? It is the only place to get fair and balanced coverage. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/12 "2008-02-21T17:59:39Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] It appears that was part of an O’Reilly segment called “pinheads and patriots”, which works like the Colbert “tip of the hat/wag of the finger” segment: ie. you do something good, you’re a patriot, do something bad and you’re a pinhead. So this is a rather shitty Pitting. [/quote] I’d say that settles it and proves O’Reilly doesn’t know what the word means. 😉 Why anybody watches the show is beyond me, however. ---
**Author:** ![Ocean\_Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8797f3/32.png) [@Ocean\_Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ocean_Annie)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/13 "2008-02-21T18:16:36Z")
Bill O’Reilly is a crude, dogmatic, grating, bully and for that he is a pinhead. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/14 "2008-02-21T18:48:30Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] That reminds me, **Lib** , good luck on that audition you have in Delphi next week. With work like that, you’re a shoo-in for the oracle role. [/QUOTE] Is someone going to bring me my lemon or do I have to squeeze it from my hat? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/15 "2008-02-21T18:50:21Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] Is someone going to bring me my lemon or do I have to squeeze it from my hat? [/QUOTE] I shall immediately go put all my money on Zesty Fedora in the sixth at Aqueduct. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/16 "2008-02-21T18:51:29Z")
His ass is on his shoulders. You know where the flashlight goes. It seeks hamsters. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/17 "2008-02-21T19:30:41Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] That reminds me, **Lib** , good luck on that audition you have in Delphi next week. With work like that, you’re a shoo-in for the oracle role. [/QUOTE] Wrong. You should have said: “Inga, we don’t shove the food in Shitake’s mouth - we place it gently on her tongue.” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/18 "2008-02-21T19:32:06Z")
Memo to self: must watch Keith tonight ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/19 "2008-02-21T19:50:44Z")
[QUOTE=unconventional] Bill O’Reilly is a crude, dogmatic, grating, bully and for that he is a pinhead. [/QUOTE] Right on! Bullies don’t belong in the kitchen! ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588/20 "2008-02-21T19:51:20Z")
You do realize that BillO is just waiting for the evidence so [he can lynch Obama’s wife](http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/02/21/countdown-the-implications-behind-oreillys-lynching-party-quote/). I suppose that if your name isn’t Don Imus you can get away with it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-bill-oreilly-know-what-a-patriot-is-answer-no/438588.md?page=2)