# Does Billy Joel have a bad song that exists? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 6, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417 "2011-09-06T18:18:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Implicit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Implicit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Implicit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/41 "2011-09-07T03:10:53Z")
I’ve never liked _Pressure_. For Billy Joel fans, come [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=623324) and tell me what your second favourite song is. /shameless plug ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/42 "2011-09-07T08:52:22Z")
Uptown Girl is bad. The Longest Time is awful. Joe ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/43 "2011-09-07T09:37:26Z")
_And So It Goes_ Our choir director loves this song - I think it is trite, pointless, meandering, boring. I’ll be glad when it falls off the list. Si ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/44 "2011-09-07T09:58:20Z")
Yes, _Uptown Girl_ has dated very, very badly. No one’s yet mentioned his non-hit _You’re Only Human (Second Wind)_ which might have been listenable if he hadn’t added a chorus of howler monkeys screeching “YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN! OOO OOO!” at regular intervals. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/45 "2011-09-07T10:00:46Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Lol, I agree, that line from Piano Man is truly wretched! Also: “and the piano it sounds like a carnival…and the microphone smells like a beer.” It doesn’t just smell like beer, it smells like A beer. And I could certainly do without the visual of an old man making love to his tonic and gin. 😃 mmm ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/46 "2011-09-07T10:57:12Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Yes, _Uptown Girl_ has dated very, very badly. Indeed, one suspects that he doesn’t play it very often anymore… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/47 "2011-09-07T15:53:59Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > Heh, actually the topic has gone in the direction I was hoping for: Namely people listing the Billy Joel songs they hate/can’t stand/think horrible. > > I suppose I could have just asked, plainly “What Billy Joel songs are the worst, in your opinion?”, but I figured with the topic title this one has, it’d get more replies just out of people wanting to voice their different opinion to the pre-set one already made. A bit cute, given the passionate fans and the well-established alternative point of view. As someone who is not a big fan, I can say I enjoy his use of melody, chords and rhyme, but something about his songs just don’t work for me. Only the Good Die Young is a fun \*carpe diem \*song. Otherwise, not much grabs me. But he is an excellent craftsman. ---
**Author:** ![Laggard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de053/32.png) [@Laggard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laggard)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/48 "2011-09-07T16:13:35Z")
> [@Nars\_Glinley](#): > > “We Didn’t Start the Fire”. Bleh. Ryan started the fire! ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/49 "2011-09-07T16:21:57Z")
> [@Nars\_Glinley](#): > > “We Didn’t Start the Fire”. Bleh. Double bleh. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/50 "2011-09-07T16:34:58Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Billy Joel has a whole _album_ of bad songs. It’s called “California Flash,” and it’s from his old early days in a band called “Attila.” [Example](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-X7r0w3m28). Worth clicking the link just for the album cover. There’s a bit of a “Peace Frog” vibe to the main riff, but but overall it’s just gaudaafaul. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/51 "2011-09-07T16:51:59Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Only the Good Die Young is a fun \*carpe diem \*song. There are two things about that song that I really like. First, I think the line “She never cared for me / but did she ever say a prayer for me” is pretty awesome. I like the near rhyme, and I think it’s a nice way of saying that the mother’s sense of Christian charity doesn’t extend to him. The other thing that I love is that (at least I think) he is using the Elizabethan double meaning of “die”, meaning both “croak” and “orgasm.” Since he’s trying to convince Virginia that he “might as well be the one”, I think the “die” double entendre is probably deliberate. So, I applaud him for working a literate double entendre into a pop song. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/52 "2011-09-07T16:59:52Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I had to rub my eyes with my fists and re-read this sentence to confirm that it said what I thought it said. It did. > > mmm, > …wondering if Davy is _still_ in the navy Yeah but you can’t really fault him for that one, since everyone in that song is a real person. And according to Billy, he didn’t even change the names… John really was the bartender, and Davy really was in the Navy (and probably still is). ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/53 "2011-09-07T17:39:52Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > All of them? > > Can’t stand the man or his music. This. Ironically, my high school senior class chose “This is the time” for our prom theme song. I suggested it. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/54 "2011-09-07T19:40:23Z")
> [@Bayard](#): > > The other thing that I love is that (at least I think) he is using the Elizabethan double meaning of “die”, meaning both “croak” and “orgasm.” Since he’s trying to convince Virginia that he “might as well be the one”, I think the “die” double entendre is probably deliberate. So, I applaud him for working a literate double entendre into a pop song. There is absolutely no way in hell that is what he meant. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/55 "2011-09-07T19:42:24Z")
To answer the question posed as the thread title: Yes The worst one (of his single releases, I should say) is the execrable _An Innocent Man_. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/56 "2011-09-07T19:42:58Z")
> [@DooWahDiddy](#): > > Yeah but you can’t really fault him for that one, since everyone in that song is a real person. And according to Billy, he didn’t even change the names… John really was the bartender, and Davy really was in the Navy (and probably still is). The way Joel sings about Davy, it’s like he thinks being in the Navy for life, getting health insurance, retirement, etc, is SO much worse than being a barroom pianist who gets his salary from a jar of spare change. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/57 "2011-09-07T20:06:58Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > The way Joel sings about Davy, it’s like he thinks being in the Navy for life, getting health insurance, retirement, etc, is SO much worse than being a barroom pianist who gets his salary from a jar of spare change. Um… okay. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/58 "2011-09-07T20:12:57Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > All of them? > > Can’t stand the man or his music. Though Billy Joel’s music is not my style, I don’t own anything by him, I don’t go out of my way to listen to him, and I don’t quite understand how he got retconned into the classic rock canon–still, I can’t quite agree with this. I can still recognize his talent as a songwriter. To me, he seems to fit in more with the early 70’s singer songwriters/soft rock era, which is why I don’t care for his style. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/59 "2011-09-07T23:04:16Z")
I don’t exactly hate the guy or anything. I may have even owned the _Storm Front_ album at one point, but he’s always sounded like someone who should have been writing music for musicals for some reason. His songwriting just has that sort of feel to me. However, I do think the guy’s got a decent knack for melody and can write a respectable hook. He’s a bit “cheesy” for my tastes, but I can’t deny that he’s good at what he does. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417/60 "2011-09-08T00:10:02Z")
I have a confession to make. I actually did like Billy Joel when I was around 14 (this was around the time of _The Stranger_ and _Glass Houses_ albums). My only excuse for this is that I was young and relied too much upon the radio as my source of music. That being said, I do think Joel’s songs got infinitely more sappy around the time he hooked up with Christie Brinkley. He may have been happier (at least until she dumped him) but, IMHO, Bill Joel was a bit more listenable during the time he was going through a divorce and his ex-brother-in-law was embezzling from him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-billy-joel-have-a-bad-song-that-exists/595417.md?page=4)