# Does Cake meet the "Pizza rule"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 16, 2014, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878 "2014-03-16T23:30:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/41 "2014-03-18T00:08:06Z")
You really shouldn’t eat caked pizza. Although I did once have a pizza’ed cake, when my (4yo) daughter dropped it. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/42 "2014-03-18T00:14:04Z")
I’ve had bad pizza. But not as often as I’ve had bad cake. Cookies on the other hand are very rarely bad, in my experience. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/43 "2014-03-18T00:31:54Z")
Good god, no. Good cake is a rare thing. Nearly every cake I’ve ever has has been a bland wall of overwhelmingly unpleasant sweetness. Pizza, on the other hand, alway has cheese, and thus is always good. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/44 "2014-03-18T01:08:22Z")
No. My wife’s lemon cake thoroughly sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/45 "2014-03-18T02:57:32Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > How many slices of that pizza and pieces of that cake, though?😃 > > This pizza sucks, and the slices are too small! It was SO bad that I asked them to cut it in six slices, because I didn’t think I could eat eight of them. > [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > You mean there is a magical land in which pizzas and blowjobs are interchangeable? I sort of live in one. ---
**Author:** ![Elemenopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Elemenopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elemenopy)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/46 "2014-03-18T12:59:58Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t believe in the pizza rule even for pizza. And even if I did, cake wouldn’t qualify. Cakes are easier to make from scratch than pies, but even so it’s possible to screw them up in several ways. Eh, not for me. I can make pies in my sleep (no recipe required), and I don’t think I’ve made a truly bad one. Cake is not so easy. I tried to make my first pound cake recently, and it was like stale bread soaked in raw egg. And not in a good way, like French toast. I don’t know what the heck I did… ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/47 "2014-03-18T15:08:26Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Question: have you ever heard of fruitcake? There is a theory (expounded by the great philosopher Garfield) that there is in actuality only one fruitcake in the world, which is continually re-gifted as soon as the recipient can think of someone he dislikes enough to send a fruitcake to. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/48 "2014-03-18T15:17:59Z")
I don’t actually like cake (it is rare that I find a cake worth eating), whereas I can eat even ‘bad’ pizza and be happy. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/49 "2014-03-18T17:43:11Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > There is a theory (expounded by the great philosopher Garfield) that there is in actuality only one fruitcake in the world, which is continually re-gifted as soon as the recipient can think of someone he dislikes enough to send a fruitcake to. My grandmother, bless her, made a batch of fruitcakes every year - though where she found the dwarf star material that made it so dense, I’ve no idea. Despite the party line, which we all towed when talking about them, they were pretty good with coffee (which is why I didn’t appreciate them until grown). ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/50 "2014-03-18T17:56:13Z")
That’s only American fruitcakes that are renowned for their staleness. The European and Aussie versions are really good. Every year we get a single-malt scotch- and/or rum-soaked one. ---
**Author:** ![jerseymule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jerseymule/32/3155_2.png) [@jerseymule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jerseymule)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/51 "2014-03-18T18:13:27Z")
I have had bad pizza, bad cake, and even bad cookies! Not spoiled, freshly made, but just unpleasant in various ways. And before reading this thread, I had never heard of the “Pizza Rule.” I don’t think that any food qualifies as “impossible to be bad” or “pretty good even if bad.” ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/52 "2014-03-18T21:19:10Z")
In all my years, I only had one ‘bad’ pizza. It’s almost impossible to mess up pizza! but I once bought a pizza that was, after one bite, totally tragically inedible. (This is like saying, “it’s impossible to mess up a Snickers bar but I once bought a Snickers bar that after one bite was totally inedible”. that’s how rare that pizza thing was.) I’ve had pizzas on a scale of 1 to 11, and the 1 number is the cheapie cardboard crust frozen things, and those are not at all bad because sometimes I get a craving for the cheapie. But I loathe cake, box cakes, and especially birthday cakes. I’ve only ever made cakes from scratch or spent $20 and up for a beauty from a bakery. OK. I hate cake, as a rule. The bad cakes FAR FAR FAR exceed the bad pizzas. I’ve only had one bad pizza, but I’ve had hundreds of awful cakes. The kind you pretend to eat and wad up in a napkin and throw away when no one is looking. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/53 "2014-03-18T22:24:34Z")
Both seem just as accurate as the other. If you don’t mess up the ingredients or the amounts, both will turn out fine. If you do mess it up, they will be bad. I can’t imagine anyone who would say grocery store cake was bad who would not also say that carryout pizza is bad. And, yes, both would likely be eaten anyways. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/54 "2014-03-19T00:28:33Z")
**BigT** , you can go to the grocery store and buy a sugar-free cake. There’s always a big heap of it on the shelf since on any given day, there’s exactly ONE person in the world who buys one. Because Aunt Minnie’s coming to visit, and we all know she’s got the diabeetus! In contrast, I have never seen a pizzeria that sells a “no salt” pizza. Because that would be horrible, and the universe will not tolerate such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/55 "2014-03-19T01:49:10Z")
> [@Shadow\_of\_The\_Moose](#): > > Hes going for distance, hes going for speed. So I wasn’t the only one. I don’t think any food meets the pizza rule. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/56 "2014-03-19T03:26:04Z")
> [@Geek\_Mecha](#): > > I don’t think any food meets the pizza rule. Chocolate might. I’ve had bad chocolate over here, some sort of dry, tasteless shit. Maybe it wasn’t even chocolate! _shudder_ The mind boggles. But how do you screw up chocolate? ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/57 "2014-03-19T12:13:11Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I’ve only had one bad pizza, but I’ve had hundreds of awful cakes. The kind you pretend to eat and wad up in a napkin and throw away when no one is looking. Flip that for me - way more bad pizza than bad cakes. Chicago restaurants, for whatever reason, have this thing where they think a thing makes the thing a thing, rather than a _process_ making the thing. Like barbecued chicken is not barbecued, but fried chicken with barbecue sauce poured over it. Because someone, somewhere, asked “Do you have barbecued chicken?” “Wuzzat?” “Chicken, but it’s made with barbecue sauce.” \ “There ya go buddy!” “Umm, thanks…” “Mama, change the menu, we gotta new special!” So any pizza that you can think of that is slightly different than crust, tomato sauce, cheese, toppings - picture it going thru the same process. Bad pizza. My last one was, coincidentally, a barbecue chicken pizza from Jet’s Pizza on Ashland. Yep, they just squirted bbq sauce on top, those culinary pragmatists - in fact, they drowned it. There was a much barbecue sauce on top as tomato sauce underneath; it was a puddle. In all fairness, they made me another pie, but they were really puzzled about what my problem was. ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/58 "2014-03-19T14:01:32Z")
That’s the only bad pizza I’ve ever had - they used barbecue sauce _instead_ of tomato sauce. And it wasn’t in the South, either - it was up in St. John’s Newfoundland. I don’t even know if it really qualified as pizza, but they were trying, bless their retarded hearts. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/59 "2014-03-19T15:14:37Z")
The pizza rule is pretty much true for me. I have had some pretty marginal pizza, though, so it’s not an absolute. Cake has no comparison. As far as I’m concerned, cake itself is always bad. It’s a delivery system for frosting. If the frosting is good enough, then the cake will be good overall unless it’s overly dry or dense. Good frosting is either based on cream cheese or butter. If the frosting is bad (like the Crisco-based crap you often get at grocery store bakeries) then there’s nothing you can put inside that will make it good. I’ve pretty much always felt this way. Even at my elementary-school birthday parties, I would request a berry pie rather than cake. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878/60 "2014-03-19T15:35:23Z")
Cake? No thank you. My stance has always been that I don’t necessarily _dislike_ cake, but rather 99% of all cake sucks. Dry, hyper-sweet, dense as a brick, covered in a half inch of frosting, I just don’t understand why people think that shit is good. That crap out of the Betty Crocker box is the worst. Store bought sheet cakes aren’t much better. Made from scratch from Grandma’s recipe? No thank you; apparently nobody’s grandmother knew shit about baking. And don’t even get me started on German chocolate (“I’d like some chocolate cake, but could someone vomit on it first?”). OTOH I’ve had bad pizza, but 99% of pizza I’ve ever had has been at least non-offensively edible. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cake-meet-the-pizza-rule/683878.md?page=4)