# Does Cecil ever read anything on the boards?? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [June 8, 2002, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935 "2002-06-08T03:56:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/1 "2002-06-08T03:56:51Z")
I was randomly browsing the [archive](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/index.html) just now and looked at Recent Classics. [Armadillos and Leprsosy](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a990219.html) came in at number 10. I may not be able remeber much these days, but I can remember all of my posts back in 1999. I pointed out [mistakes in his reply](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=350&highlight=leprosy) then, and I’ll [post](http://bphc.hrsa.gov/nhdp/HISTORY_MAIN_PAGE.htm) another [cool link](http://digitalarkivet.uib.no/lepra-eng/intro.htm) now. And moderators are always complaining about us humble minions not using the search engine. How about the big boys? I’m not ranting (or even posting this to the pit), but I was a bit disappointed at his 1999 reply not being updated, despite it being a “Recent Classic”. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/2 "2002-06-08T12:13:38Z")
Oh, he does. However, Cecil is still undergoing the final physical, mental, and, yes, emotional preparation for his biggest project… he intends to meld his brain into that of a supercomputer melded with ancient alien crystals that, when activated, will allow him to ascend to a state of intellectual godhood (as opposed to intellectual demi-godhood… a body of flesh and bone can only go so far). This preparation requires lots of excercise, intense cerebral probing and scrubbing, and an inordinate amount of porn. Once the process is complete, then his essence will become an immortal, all-powerful, autonomous being, capable of leaving the Earthly confines of… uh… Earth, and travel at whim about the galaxy, Fighting Ignorance on a universal scale rather than a planetary scale. Suffice to say, the rantings and ravings of us mere mortals are immaterial to him. Of course, as the lead designer of this project, I’ll be the second one to ascend to godhood… whereupon I will destroy the machine and rule this universe with an iron fist. Bwahahahahahaha!!! (Serious answer: He’s busy. But that answer was really boring, wasn’t it?) ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2002, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/3 "2002-06-08T15:25:38Z")
As SPOOFE said, Cecil Adams does not read every thread at the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2002, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/4 "2002-06-09T23:21:52Z")
I thought it was like a sort of auditing principle; he reads a representative proportion of the threads and the others are assumed to have been read. ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/5 "2002-06-10T06:31:34Z")
Hmm, putting SPOOFE’s reply together with Mangetout’s use of the phrase “auditing” is gonna make my L. Ron Hubbard alarms go off…fighting ignorance or “clearing the planet”? 😉 As a newbie to this board, I wonder why he bothers to host it since I doubt he’s getting any great material from us even if he does read it. Not that we aren’t great minds, just that I doubt this board is the type of representation of public opinion a writer would use as a sample. Obviously he couldn’t read even 1% of all the threads considering the size of the board, but I’d wonder which he likes to read more. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/6 "2002-06-10T07:33:28Z")
Now that we’ve cleared that up, can somebody tell me if Santa reads _every_ letter that children send to him?.. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/7 "2002-06-10T11:08:09Z")
> [@](#): > > I wonder why he bothers to host it since I doubt he’s getting any great material from us even if he does read it. Well, he is only human (despite what his detractors may say!)… for the time being, at least. He can’t answer every question or address every query that comes up. And I’m sure he won’t lower himself to dealing with the Ignorant racists, homophobes, and lawyers (:D)that pop up every now and then. Our job as his Teeming Millions is to do his dirty work so that he may ultimately ascend to Perfect Intelligencehood. Praise Cecil! And now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go deflower a hundred virgins in his name. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/8 "2002-06-10T12:26:06Z")
The sad truth is that Cecil reads very few letters, although loyal staff try to encourage him to read more. Cecil’s argument is that he’s paid for writing a column, not for wading through tons of crap opinions. You could help remedy that, of course, by offering to pay for him to read your posts… ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2002, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/9 "2002-06-10T16:24:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RexDart \* > I wonder why he bothers to host it since I doubt he’s getting any great material from us even if he does read it. Of course, Cecil will probably read this and shut down the SDMB. It was nice knowing y’all. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/10 "2002-06-11T04:56:40Z")
Actually, Ce–l has **bots** to do the dirty work. He cleverly calls them **mods**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2002, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/11 "2002-06-11T14:55:47Z")
Cecil may not read everything but he does read a few. He recently attended a [100th post party](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=115876) in his honor. He tends to post more in Comments on Cecils column forum but occasionally he ventures into MPSIMS or the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/12 "2002-06-12T07:26:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Actually, Ce–l has bots to do the dirty work. He cleverly calls them mods. SHHHH!!! They’re programmed to not realize that they’re artificial intelligences! Telling them that they’re bots will cause them to suffer a dynamic cascading breakdown in their neural nets, which will mean hundreds of man-hours for me to fix! ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-cecil-ever-read-anything-on-the-boards/112935/13 "2002-06-12T08:15:06Z")
SPOOFE, there is nothing for you to be alarmed about. No SDMB Moderator has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.