# does Charity do its work or its for formality
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [February 23, 2015, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395 "2015-02-23T07:35:02Z")
**Posts on this page:** 13
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@kisuule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kisuule)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/1 "2015-02-23T07:35:02Z")
I have had a certain friend of mine in germany and uk these people could give money to Charity bt couldn’t help a family member
---
### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/2 "2015-02-23T10:16:43Z")
O…kay? Care to elaborate more?
---
### Author:  [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/3 "2015-02-23T11:33:59Z")
Perhaps they feel like they’ve given enough to family? Or maybe they give to those family members in more intangible ways? Or maybe they don’t think those family members are any more deserving of help than anyone else who’s got their hand out? Or maybe they feel like it would be throwing good money after bad? Or maybe those family members haven’t actually asked for help?
I’ve got cousins who could probably use some extra money, but we aren’t close. I don’t feel obligated to cut them a check at the expense of the other charitable giving I’d like to do. Also, I’d like to keep some money on reserve for family members who I do feel attachments to–like my immediate family. I’d feel pretty awful if I was hit up for cash by someone I love who’s in desperate need, but I had to turn them down because I already helped Cousin Bobo buy a window unit for his rabbits or some crazy shit like that.
---
### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/4 "2015-02-23T12:20:50Z")
If I’m reading it coorectly, the question is about which should take precedence, family or charity.
The answer is going to depend on a lot of different factors. Ultimately,your resources are yours to dispose of. You might decide that a needy relative is a higher priority than a stranger, or you might decide that a deadbeat relative has already borrowed (and pissed away) enough, and that charity is more important.
---
### Author:  [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/5 "2015-02-23T14:11:08Z")
I think you are all missing the important part. **kisuule’s** friend is in the UK\*\* AND\*\* Germany.
So either this friend is over 200 miles tall or more obviously his body is in two sections.
I think that friend has much bigger problems than weighing family issues against charity.
---
### Author:  [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/6 "2015-02-23T14:31:12Z")
> [@kisuule](#):
>
> I have had a certain friend of mine in germany and uk these people could give money to Charity bt couldn’t help a family member
Who _is_ Charity? Is she his girlfriend? A hooker? A dancer? I don’t see anything wrong with giving money to a close friend over a distant relative. We need to know Charity’s relationship to your friend before we can answer.
---
### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/7 "2015-02-23T16:45:48Z")
> [@Fenris](#):
>
> Who _is_ Charity? Is she his girlfriend? A hooker? A dancer? I don’t see anything wrong with giving money to a close friend over a distant relative. We need to know Charity’s relationship to your friend before we can answer.
She’s these people.
---
### Author:  [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/8 "2015-02-23T18:37:16Z")
But most importantly…
How is babby formed?
---
### Author:  [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/9 "2015-02-23T19:34:57Z")
> [@monstro](#):
>
> I already helped Cousin Bobo buy a window unit for his rabbits or some crazy shit like that.
But the bunnies are really hot.
---
### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/10 "2015-02-23T19:36:05Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#):
>
> But most importantly…
>
> How is babby formed?
Charity’s pregnant?
---
### Author:  [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)
#### Post date: [February 23, 2015, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/11 "2015-02-23T23:16:29Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#):
>
> I think you are all missing the important part. **kisuule’s** friend is in the UK\*\* AND\*\* Germany.
>
> So either this friend is over 200 miles tall or more obviously his body is in two sections.
>
> I think that friend has much bigger problems than weighing family issues against charity.
It will be a happy day when this relative is reunited.
---
### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [February 24, 2015, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/12 "2015-02-24T03:56:55Z")
Oh, be charitable and give the fellow who is apparently not a native speaker of English a break.
Though I surprised myself when I instantly interpreted “b t” as “but then.” I’m a polyglot!
---
### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [February 24, 2015, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-charity-do-its-work-or-its-for-formality/713395/13 "2015-02-24T03:57:10Z")
If I had some relative knock on my door unexpectedly, thinking that I’m going to let them in, feed them and let them sleep in the only bed in the apartment, I’d point them to the nearest hotel (it’s just a couple of blocks away).
If a relative announced that (s)he’s planning on coming to visit, I’d point them to a selection of hotels nearby.
And that is for the relatives that I’m happy to see. There’s others that would get pointed to Lonely Planet and maybe we can meet for a cup of coffee in a bar, hey?