# Does everybody have (real or potential) skeletons in their closet? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 8, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982 "2013-07-08T21:58:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![diggerwam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@diggerwam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggerwam)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/1 "2013-07-08T21:58:59Z")
Basically the debate is; Is it possible to be good, 100% of the time? I theorize that a person, even the most goodest person you know, has a skeleton in their closet or will at sometime in the future. I just can’t believe you can live to 80 and not have done something that you are ashamed of. Now, you can define “good” however you want to. You can also define a “skeleton” as you will. Something I might consider to be a personal oopsie, might for somebody else a source of deep shame. Discussion comes from a cousin by marriage who from all outward appearances looks squeaky clean. 5 kids sixth on the way, kids homeschooled, Uber religious, teetotaller. Super successful professionally. I just happened to mention to my wife that everything can’t be that perfect, that there has to be some skeleton in his early life, or perhaps something in the future that’s percolating under the surface. My wife did not agree, she claimed that a person could be that good. What say you? Any examples to prove me wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/2 "2013-07-08T22:03:00Z")
I think it’s possible. Certainly not common. I’m pretty proud of the way I’ve lived for the past 10 years or so, but before that…I’ve got things to be ashamed of. There are a few billion people on Earth, so I’m sure you could find a dozen or so that have lived squeaky clean lives. ---
**Author:** ![Whitney\_Harper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@Whitney\_Harper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whitney_Harper)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/3 "2013-07-08T22:11:43Z")
I would say everyone has done something that they deeply regret, as I have done things that I regret. I don’t drink alcohol at all now, but when I was younger I can recall calling up old boyfriends in the middle of the night while drinking, and saying things I never would have said if I hadn’t been drinking. In addition, I’ve read about very well-educated, successful people who seemed like top of the line people, who were caught trying to steal large sums of money from companies, so you never know about people. I think you are correct, not your wife. There are no perfect people. ---
**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/4 "2013-07-08T22:39:14Z")
This quote: > [@](#): > > “Man is conceived in sin and born in corruption and he passeth from the stink of the didie to the stench of the shroud. There is always something > (All The King’s Men)” > ― Robert Penn Warren ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/5 "2013-07-08T22:55:31Z")
Deeply religious is a pretty big skeleton from my point of view. Although not all the world’s ills are the result of religion gone deep, a great many of them are. As for me, well sure I’ve done things I shouldn’t have, but I don’t see them having risen to skeletonhood. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/6 "2013-07-08T23:13:45Z")
People can feel shame for irrational reasons, though. A person who was abused as a kid might feel shame about it, but that’s a different type of “skeleton” than the one the abuser carries with them. I mean, if your cousin revealed that he had been abused as a kid, would you go “See there! I told you he’s not perfect!” Being an abuse victim would actually make him seem more impressive, wouldn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![stoplight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@stoplight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stoplight)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2013, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/7 "2013-07-08T23:28:04Z")
interesting…I know a couple things about a good friend of mine that he keeps secret and he would consider skeleton like if revealed. But I do not consider them skeletons at all. Perception I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/8 "2013-07-09T14:22:11Z")
I agree it’s possible but not common. There are people with integrity out there. The bigger problem with “skeletons in the closet” is society rather than individuals, IMHO. For example, we’re only JUST getting to a point where being openly gay won’t completely ruin a political career. I see no character flaw in getting treatment for depression or other mental illness, but by and large society does. These are only skeletons inasmuch as society unfairly and unjustifiably judges them negatively; but they get shoved in a closet because in a lot of cases, you have to get along in this society that you’re stuck in, so what else can you do? I have things I keep private, not because I’m ashamed of them, but because I know that there are people out there who will insist that I should be; or at the very least, any open discussion of them would indelibly taint their perception of me in a negative way. I don’t believe such negativity is deserved at all, but I also got better things to do than erect potential barriers for myself. It’s not stuff that matters in day-to-day life, so I don’t have much cause or need to talk about it anyway. So while _I_ don’t consider these things to be skeletons, I’m sure someone somewhere would. ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/9 "2013-07-09T19:50:54Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > People can feel shame for irrational reasons, though. A person who was abused as a kid might feel shame about it, but that’s a different type of “skeleton” than the one the abuser carries with them. > > I mean, if your cousin revealed that he had been abused as a kid, would you go “See there! I told you he’s not perfect!” Being an abuse victim would actually make him seem more impressive, wouldn’t it? How would that make them seem more impressive?😕 ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/10 "2013-07-09T20:32:54Z")
Even scarier, we each have a spooky skeleton INSIDE OF US! ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2013, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/11 "2013-07-09T22:46:48Z")
> [@Longshanks](#): > > How would that make them seem more impressive?😕 Because overcoming abusive to live a perfectly normal, happy life is an impressing accomplishment. ---
**Author:** ![stoplight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@stoplight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stoplight)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/12 "2013-07-10T00:20:12Z")
we know Predators have skeletons, they rarely think they do. it could be a great accomplishment or could be used as an explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/13 "2013-07-10T00:38:58Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > People can feel shame for irrational reasons, though. A person who was abused as a kid might feel shame about it, but that’s a different type of “skeleton” than the one the abuser carries with them. > > I mean, if your cousin revealed that he had been abused as a kid, would you go “See there! I told you he’s not perfect!” Being an abuse victim would actually make him seem more impressive, wouldn’t it? > [@monstro](#): > > Because overcoming abusive to live a perfectly normal, happy life is an impressing accomplishment. Not necessarily. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/14 "2013-07-10T00:52:09Z")
You are asking different things: 1. Are there people who haven’t done things they are ashamed of? 2. Are there people who haven’t done specific undesirable acts? I think there are quite a few sociopaths who aren’t ashamed of anything they have done–even though they have done evil things. If you want to talk about specific acts please list them. ---
**Author:** ![Bartman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Bartman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bartman)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/15 "2013-07-10T01:09:01Z")
I certainly could not run for president. There are things in my past and present that would be viewed poorly by the public at large. That said, I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t simply reveal to someone. And I am very open with people I know. Do I have a skeleton in the closet? I don’t think of anything as a skeleton (even if others certainly would). And I don’t keep anything like that in a closet. ---
**Author:** ![Jungian\_Camisole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@Jungian\_Camisole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jungian_Camisole)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/16 "2013-07-10T01:38:04Z")
I couldn’t even run for dog catcher. I have so many skeletons that it sounds like they’re playing a game of Yahtzee in the closet. I prefer to think of them as a life well lived. No regrets, baby! ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/17 "2013-07-10T01:55:37Z")
> [@diggerwam](#): > > Now, you can define “good” however you want to. You can also define a “skeleton” as you will. Something I might consider to be a personal oopsie, might for somebody else a source of deep shame. That renders your OP meaningless, then. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-everybody-have-real-or-potential-skeletons-in-their-closet/662982/18 "2013-07-10T02:48:23Z")
I am not allowed to travel to Canada.