# Does God have a penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 19, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002 "2001-07-19T02:21:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/1 "2001-07-19T02:21:48Z")
Not Jesus - if he came to earth in human form he would have to take either male or female form. Does God “the father” really have a gender, or do people just perceive him as male because, well, we’re used to perceiving an intelligent being as either male or female? Does he seem male because it is instinctive for humans (like other primates) to look up to an alpha male? ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/2 "2001-07-19T02:43:31Z")
I am an atheist, but it seems to me that the God that many christians I know believe in has no sex, but has male gender. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/3 "2001-07-19T02:50:55Z")
More to the point, is God circumcised? And is his regular state erect or flaccid? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/4 "2001-07-19T02:55:15Z")
Besides his face and at least one of his hands, how many of His body parts have been mentioned in the Bible? ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/5 "2001-07-19T02:57:06Z")
I think part of the reason He is referred to as, well, _He_ is because it seems more respectful than, say, It. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/6 "2001-07-19T03:06:41Z")
“Does God have a penis?” Of course, where do you think all the matter in the universe “came” from. Quasars are God gettin’ busy. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/7 "2001-07-19T03:15:09Z")
\*\*Czarcasm wrote: Besides his face and at least one of his hands, how many of His body parts have been mentioned in the Bible?\*\* I don’t have the name and number of the particular verse at hand, but supposedly, (the J/C/I) God revealed Himself to Moses while Moses was up on Mt. Sinai, something about His “hindquarters.” So, is He a flasher? 😃 \*\*astro wrote: Of course, where do you think all the matter in the universe “came” from. Quasars are God gettin’ busy.\*\* What’s white and flies thru the skies? The cumming of the Lord! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/8 "2001-07-19T03:19:51Z")
[sub]Oh come on – you knew somebody was going to say it.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/9 "2001-07-19T03:21:12Z")
LOL! Thanks guys, I’m in the middle of a more serious religious discussion on another board and I needed a laugh. Here’s another question: did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons? After all they were never attached to umbilical cords. ---
**Author:** ![jabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/db5fbb/32.png) [@jabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/10 "2001-07-19T03:37:07Z")
of an argument that I had with a friend of mine. If god is a woman, she would probably be a hot chick. Now, knowing that god is a hot chick, I’m talking super model hot, would it be a mortal sin to jerk-off to god? I need a woman. peace, JB ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/11 "2001-07-19T03:38:11Z")
**Glad to see this isn’t a serious thread** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/12 "2001-07-19T03:44:42Z")
I’m agnostic, but It pretty much stands to reason that he’d be a hermaphrodite? ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/13 "2001-07-19T03:45:34Z")
\*\*Czarcasm wrote: Besides his face and at least one of his hands, how many of His body parts have been mentioned in the Bible?\*\* Found it. Check out (in the KJV) Exodus, Chapter 33, verses 20 to 23. The word used is _back parts_, not _hindquarters_, but that’s a matter of translation, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/14 "2001-07-19T06:10:02Z")
So God’s got an ass, a face and at least one hand. Is that it so far? ---
**Author:** ![ssj\_man2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ssj\_man2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ssj_man2k)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/15 "2001-07-19T06:45:33Z")
I dont beleive god has a gender. That just seems to restrictive for a creature we can’t even fathom. I think the way they portrayed god on southpark makes more sense. ---
**Author:** ![MrO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@MrO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrO)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/16 "2001-07-19T07:13:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Freyr \* > **Found it. Check out (in the KJV) Exodus, Chapter 33, verses 20 to 23.** So God mooned Moses? ---
**Author:** ![Shogun\_Haircut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Shogun\_Haircut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shogun_Haircut)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/17 "2001-07-19T07:47:19Z")
“God can’t be a woman because no woman would or could fuck things up this bad.”-George Carlin That said I would imagine that yes god has a penis, it is probably somewhere around half mast, except when [b} Searching\*\* is pumping god for information. I say half mast because if he sees all, well then, enough said, but on the other hand, I would hate to know what his fetishes are. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/18 "2001-07-19T08:03:57Z")
Somehow [Revelation 3:11](http://bible.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bible?passage=REV+3:11&language=english&version=KJV&showfn=off&showxref=on) relevant to this discussion: _“Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.”_ So God’s definitely a guy… …and I’m definitely going to Hell, but then I already knew that. Actually, my first impulse (which I probably should have followed, no?) was to say “I’m not touching _this_ topic with a ten-foot…” ---
**Author:** ![Biffer\_Spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@Biffer\_Spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffer_Spice)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/19 "2001-07-19T10:41:57Z")
The best argument I heard that God was a woman was that if he was a guy, he’d have put the balls on the inside… ---
**Author:** ![madcowmccoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@madcowmccoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madcowmccoy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002/20 "2001-07-19T16:52:10Z")
people usually ascribe an intangible meaning to gender, whether male or female. each has its own “essence.” but in nature, of which we are a part, the only real reason for two genders is that it’s a viable method of reproduction. in no form of existence known to man is there a species of males for whom there are no female counterparts, and vice versa. there’s sexual and asexual. so, in my opinion, when you say god is a man or a woman, it seems that, by implication, you’re saying that there is also a male/female counterpart out there for god. which might imply that there are many gods, which kinda undermines the whole sovereignty thing. (not trying to upset any fundies, just saying.) i’m not a believer, but if i imagine god, i prefer the whole glowing-orb-of-infinity image…just suits me better, i guess. i always assumed asking god what gender “it” was was like the witch of the north asking dorothy, “so, are you a good witch, or a bad witch?” dorothy: “i’m not a witch at all.” witch of the north stares back blank-faced. “so…is that good or bad?” dorothy suspects this is gonna take a while… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-god-have-a-penis/73002.md?page=2)