# Does gray hair make women look old, frumpy and not-sexy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 15, 2011, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192 "2011-07-15T22:41:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/21 "2011-07-16T02:41:37Z")
Gray? Yes. Silver? No. Most women start coloring their hair before they need too, just for fun, and keep doing it long after they should stop, just out of habit. Going au naturel does not make a woman look any younger, but it frequently is a lot more attractive. Unnaturally strong hair color frequently makes a woman look haggish. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/22 "2011-07-16T03:00:33Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > Look, I’m sorry to be brutally honest, but grey hair makes you look older . > > I’m a little slow. Just recently, being 60 years old, I was wondering why the women my age look so much younger and attractive than the 60 year old women of my youth. And most women look so much younger than their husbands. Take Hillary Clinton for example. She’s still sexy looking in my book. Then my wife explained to me that she herself dyes her hair to cover the grey and most women our age do as well. > > Do you think Hillary would look better au naturel ? I have to agree here. While a streak or two of silver running through an otherwise gray-free head of hair might occasionally be sexy and appealing, like it’s been said already; not many can pull it off. And a lot, or all gray is simply old. Again, it may look “cool” and novel but it does nothing to enhance your sexual appeal. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/23 "2011-07-16T03:16:10Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > Again, it may look “cool” and novel but it does nothing to enhance your sexual appeal. It does help to weed out the callow youths. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/24 "2011-07-16T03:23:12Z")
> [@j66](#): > > It does help to weed out the callow youths. I should have figured on such a response. Just because I’m young, my opinion is immediately dismissed as nothing more than “immature” and “unknowing”. Uh huh. My post was in agreement with that of a 60yr old. Is he “callow” as well? ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/25 "2011-07-16T03:36:20Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > I should have figured on such a response. Just because I’m young, my opinion is immediately dismissed as nothing more than “immature” and “unknowing”. Uh huh. My post was in agreement with that of a 60yr old. Is he “callow” as well? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/26 "2011-07-16T03:52:19Z")
> [@j66](#): > > Yes. So in your view, a man lacks maturity and adult sophistication if he doesn’t generally find gray hair sexually attractive. Am I reading you correctly? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/27 "2011-07-16T04:04:31Z")
> [@j66](#): > > Yes. Then why did you decide to jump on me instead of the 60yr old? The 60yr old who voiced the sentiments you described as immature before I did? ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/28 "2011-07-16T04:50:14Z")
IMO, it’s a pretty rare thing that a woman with gray hair looks hot, as in “I want to have sex with her” hot. Women with gray hair can look “cool”, or like they’d be fun to know or hang out with, and they can be what I would call a “handsome” woman, but rarely somebody I’d find sexually attractive. Even Helen Mirren, IMO, is much sexier with a darker hair color. I recently saw her playing a frumpy, beaten-down-by-life housekeeper in _Gosford Park_, but her hair was a medium-brown, and in my opinion she was sexier even in that role than in the bikini shot **kunilou** linked to. If you enjoy being a big-boobed, redhaired sexpot, then I’d go back to red. On the other hand, if you’re cool just being yourself and are ready to relinquish your former sexy self and the hair-coloring and trouble that goes with it, then by all means keep the gray. But I think you’ll be disappointed if you hope that in going gray you’ll still get the same admiring glances from men that you’ve always gotten with your red hair. Just my .02. Others’ mileage will certainly vary. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/29 "2011-07-16T05:10:54Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > I’ve seen silver haired woman who have seriously got it going on (e.g:[Blythe Danner](http://www.google.com/search?q=blythe+danner&hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=u5s&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&prmd=ivnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=SdIgTq39NMX20gGQx7mYAw&ved=0CDUQsAQ&biw=1280&bih=670)) I’ve also seen some who look like washed-out dishrags. That’s not a fair comparison. Before going gray, Blythe Danner started out with a three lap head start on the rest of the field. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/30 "2011-07-16T05:25:16Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > IMO, it’s a pretty rare thing that a woman with gray hair looks hot, as in “I want to have sex with her” hot. Women with gray hair can look “cool”, or like they’d be fun to know or hang out with, and they can be what I would call a “handsome” woman, but rarely somebody I’d find sexually attractive. Even Helen Mirren, IMO, is much sexier with a darker hair color. I recently saw her playing a frumpy, beaten-down-by-life housekeeper in _Gosford Park_, but her hair was a medium-brown, and in my opinion she was sexier even in that role than in the bikini shot **kunilou** linked to. > > If you enjoy being a big-boobed, redhaired sexpot, then I’d go back to red. On the other hand, if you’re cool just being yourself and are ready to relinquish your former sexy self and the hair-coloring and trouble that goes with it, then by all means keep the gray. But I think you’ll be disappointed if you hope that in going gray you’ll still get the same admiring glances from men that you’ve always gotten with your red hair. > > Just my .02. Others’ mileage will certainly vary. Why isn’t this guy called “callow”? He’s basically saying the same thing as I did. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/31 "2011-07-16T05:39:01Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > I should have figured on such a response. Just because I’m young, my opinion is immediately dismissed as nothing more than “immature” and “unknowing”. Uh huh. My post was in agreement with that of a 60yr old. Is he “callow” as well? I’m finding as I age that the physical traits of older people are not a turn-off for me; they just look like normal people to me. You might find the same thing as you age. And you might not - who knows? 🙂 > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > That’s not a fair comparison. Before going gray, Blythe Danner started out with a three lap head start on the rest of the field. Blondes all have a leg-up on going grey - it’s not nearly as stark as on us brunettes. I’ve occasionally let my salt-and-pepper grey grow out a bit before dying, and it really does age me - I think it makes me look about 10 years older. There will be a point in the future when I don’t care, but 44 isn’t it. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/32 "2011-07-16T05:41:17Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > Why isn’t this guy called “callow”? He’s basically saying the same thing as I did. The most likely reason is that I only said that less than an hour ago and this is the middle of a Friday night, which is typically a slow time here at the Dope. Plus I’m 62, so I no longer qualify for the “immature” label. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/33 "2011-07-16T05:45:36Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’m finding as I age that the physical traits of older people are not a turn-off for me; they just look like normal people to me. You might find the same thing as you age. And you might not - who knows? 🙂 > > Blondes all have a leg-up on going grey - it’s not nearly as stark as on us brunettes. > > I’ve occasionally let my salt-and-pepper grey grow out a bit before dying, and it really does age me - I think it makes me look about 10 years older. There will be a point in the future when I don’t care, but 44 isn’t it. This discussion is about gray hair, not a broader discussion about the “physical traits of older people”. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/34 "2011-07-16T05:48:14Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > The most likely reason is that I only said that less than an hour ago and this is the middle of a Friday night, which is typically a slow time here at the Dope. > > Plus I’m 62, so I no longer qualify for the “immature” label. 😛 Well, I was labeled as callow after I had echoed the sentiments of a 60yr old poster. The first poster (the 60yr old) was conveniently overlooked by j66 (or whatever his name is). I just think some here don’t like ME and they trash anything I post automatically. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/35 "2011-07-16T05:50:40Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > This discussion is about gray hair, not a broader discussion about the “physical traits of older people”. Okay, I think grey hair looks fine on many people, and you may find that also as you get older. Or not. You got a bit of a hair-trigger temper there, sonny. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/36 "2011-07-16T05:52:28Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Okay, I think grey hair looks fine on many people, and you may find that also as you get older. Or not. > > You got a bit of a hair-trigger temper there, sonny. LOL, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound angry. 🙂 And I totally agree, gray hair looks just fine on many women as they age. Just fine, however, doesn’t translate into sexy. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/37 "2011-07-16T06:01:12Z")
All I can say is that I saw recent pictures of an old flame, and she was just that much more sexy with letting her grey come out from under the basket with which she hides her light. RRRowr… gave me a familiar feeling in my scrote… ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/38 "2011-07-16T06:06:22Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > Well, I was labeled as callow after I had echoed the sentiments of a 60yr old poster. The first poster (the 60yr old) was conveniently overlooked by j66 (or whatever his name is). I just think some here don’t like ME and they trash anything I post automatically. To be honest, I think you’re being just a tad thin-skinned here. This is a subject that a certain number of women/people are going to take offense at whenever someone says younger looking is better. (I blame feminism. :D) Anyway, only one poster called you callow. It’s not like the board is ganging up on you. And FWIW, **Cat Whisperer’s** post was perfectly in line with the conversation, and typical of the back and forth that often occurs when someone asks for opinion about appearance. You’re a cool guy in some ways but, IMO, a tad defensive and combative in others. It might serve you well to just chill for a while and observe the give and take on this board without doing much posting yourself. I think you’re prone to take too many things too seriously, and by familiarizing yourself more with how things transpire around here, I think your board experience would be both more rewarding for you and for the board in general. You have a lot to contribute, but you need to tone down the defensiveness and combativeness or that side of you is going to overwhelm the side of you that posters here value. Just my .02. No offense intended. On preview I see that you and **Cat Whisperer** have reached a denouement. Good on ya! 🙂 I’m going to let my post stand uncorrected though, as I think the point is still valid. Again, no offense intended. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/39 "2011-07-16T06:10:45Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > LOL, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound angry. 🙂 And I totally agree, gray hair looks just fine on many women as they age. Just fine, however, doesn’t translate into sexy. Well, it can. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2011, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192/40 "2011-07-16T07:01:01Z")
I’d be curious about answers from the same question asked about guys. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-gray-hair-make-women-look-old-frumpy-and-not-sexy/589192.md?page=3)