# Does having a friend or an acquaintance of another race/ethnicity matter?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-having-a-friend-or-an-acquaintance-of-another-race-ethnicity-matter/849075>\
**Category:** Great Debates\
**Created:** [March 8, 2020, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-having-a-friend-or-an-acquaintance-of-another-race-ethnicity-matter/849075 "2020-03-08T01:24:55Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\
**Post date:** [March 10, 2020, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-having-a-friend-or-an-acquaintance-of-another-race-ethnicity-matter/849075/21 "2020-03-10T18:26:22Z")

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> [@Yankees\_1996\_Champs](#):
>
> Does it really matter?
> 
> In race-obsessed America, they say that whites and blacks and Latinos and other groups should make friendships with each other, etc.
> 
> Does it really matter?

I don’t think a lot of people are going to answer that it matters per se. On the more PC/woke side of things, there seems to usually be suspicion that white people talking about their personal relationships with non-white people are trying to deflect from their racial thought crimes. On the anti-PC side of things I think the general opinion is the vibe I get from OP, that it’s a sign of obsession with race to consider what race of people you have relationships with. The two sides would probably tend, practically, to agree on putting a fairly low weight on just the fact a person has transracial personal relationships (rather than some ‘deeper’ analysis of their thought, character etc).

Then also, although you mentioned ‘blacks and Latinos and other groups’ a lot of racial discussion, on this forum and generally in the US, still tends to default to considering the relationship between Americans of European descent and African Americans with deep roots in the US. And there is IME often some tension to overcome for a pair of people from those two groups to have a completely relaxed close friendship. There’s _something_ to note there, though I see no reason to pin medals on people or give them demerits for having such friendships or not. But where I live at least (NY area) ‘white’ people having friendships with Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern etc people is pretty much a complete non-event. I’m not saying ‘race’ is a complete non-issue in all ways wrt those groups. But it doesn’t extend to palpable tension person to person that I can detect in everyday interaction, or rarely anyway.

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**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\
**Post date:** [March 10, 2020, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-having-a-friend-or-an-acquaintance-of-another-race-ethnicity-matter/849075/22 "2020-03-10T18:35:34Z")

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It matters and it doesn’t. Having friends of another race doesn’t make you “not racist” and having no friends of another race doesn’t make you a racist. The in between is nuanced and relates to how one’s exposure to people of different races (or lack thereof) may inform one’s viewpoints. The idea that if we all just got to know one another and made friends as individuals that racism would die is bunk. Mere friendship is not enough, but it’s also not nothing.

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