# Does "hooking up" always imply sexual activity? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 28, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663 "2005-07-28T22:50:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/21 "2005-07-29T00:55:45Z")
> [@Squink](#): > > Good Lord! I spent last evening hooking up my stereo system! Did you respect it in the morning? ---
**Author:** ![Sequent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Sequent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sequent)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/22 "2005-07-29T01:05:13Z")
I would say: hook up = sexual relations There are obviously many, many exceptions. But they are mostly obvious: “He and I are gonna hook up later and see a movie.” “Call me and we’ll hook up later” “By the time we hooked up, the party was half over” “We were going to hook up around eight, but…” But. “He and I hooked up last night.” (full stop) “Do you wanna hook up with him?” “Did you two hook up?” Different ballgame. Unambiguous, I dare say. Just one man’s experience, though. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/23 "2005-07-29T01:05:52Z")
For younger people, it seems to mean casual sex, or a minimum of oral sex. If the girl looks like 15 or 16, there is cause to be worried. ---
**Author:** ![Sequent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Sequent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sequent)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/24 "2005-07-29T01:11:08Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Ahhh… I remember not so long ago when ‘hooking up’ meant, “Receiving Stolen or Ill-Gotten Gains.” Well, ahem, yes. Esp. when from the perspective of the young (older) boy. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/25 "2005-07-29T01:17:06Z")
We used to use it to mean “some sort of physicality, but not usually sex.” Although it could mean sex, it usually didn’t. Actually in high school my friends developed a percentage system to clarify things. 10% = some kissing – 100% = sex ---
**Author:** ![archmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@archmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/archmichael)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/26 "2005-07-29T13:31:28Z")
“Hooking up” to me, has always meant ‘to have sex’, but the term is ambiguous. Not quite as clear cut as ‘booty call’. I also wonder if it is an example of a term being mainstreamed by clueless people. Paula Abdul kept on talking about the ‘money shot’ (don’t know if she still does), using the term to mean a great picture, when to me it has only been a porn industry term. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/27 "2005-07-29T14:09:55Z")
It often means sex, but not always. This is true w/the college-age crowd (of which I was recently a part.) Some things I have heard: “When I get drunk I sometimes hook up w/my roommate” --she just meant a bit of cuddling w/some very much non-tonsil-licking smooches (when queried). “They hooked up” --they are now a couple “They hooked up” --they had casual sex “What do you think about random hookups?” --do you approve of casual sex? It seemed to me that most people at Swarthmore College felt that “hook up” did not necessarily imply sexual activity. This was actually a topic of several conversations. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/28 "2005-07-29T14:44:59Z")
Weird. We just had a poll about this on another board. “Hooking up” has one of three meanings, depending on context: 1. Sexual activity 2. “Making out” 3. Meeting up with Of the first two meanings, the poll was divided 10 votes for “sex”, and 17 votes for “any physical intimacy.” For me, it’s always been either sexual activity or meeting up with somebody. Kissing would be covered by the phrase “making out.” But it all depends on your age group and peers. It seems that most people around here use it for anything from kissing to sexing. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/29 "2005-07-29T15:29:02Z")
In college, “hooking up” _always_ implied some sort of sexual activity. The exact level was most often left up to one’s imagination, based on what one know of the hook-uppers’ characters. For me, if one roommate told me she “hooked up” with a guy at a party, I’d assume general snogging and petting, but not much more than that. If the other told me she “hooked up” with Aaron, I’d assume the whole enchilada, as they were in a lightbulb (on again, off again) relationship at the time. Remember, this was college. For an 11-year-old, I’d assume the more innocuous “meeting up with” connotation. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/30 "2005-07-29T17:47:21Z")
After a few VERY short-circuited discussions in college (a few years ago now), it seemed like “hooking up” was a term that had an unusually high degree of regional/cultural variation–some folks used it to mean sex, others just a simple meeting (you could speak of “hooking up” with a fraternity brother to go to a bar or bowling or something.), and everything in between. I’m going to second the reccomendation to actually talk to the kid, or barring that local kids in her age group, because it’s so variable. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/31 "2005-07-29T17:53:34Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > She does plan to discuss this with her daughter. But she’s aware that kids don’t always tell the truth about such things. It’s been my experience (as a relatively recent teenager, a decade ago I was 14) that if you can’t trust a kid to tell you the truth, you need to drop everything else and build that trust in an intelligent manner. I told my dad everything, but I didn’t tell my mom very much at all–mostly because my dad never judged, just advised, whereas my mom filtered everything through a lens of innuendo and strict Catholicism (she’s the type of person who still harasses me to attend church even though I converted to Zen Budddhism after a few years of college, then wonders why I refuse to discuss religion, morals, or sexuality with her). > [@](#): > > The mother/daughter talk about sex happened quite some time ago, and mom said that the daughter seemed unimpressed and said that she had “already learned most of that stuff” from watching television! HBO, what hast thou wrought? Information spreads. “The talk” is no longer an event. Perhaps mom should consider re-opening the talk with an eye to answering questions rather than necessarily imparting information–I don’ t say this as a dig, but as someone close enough to the teen/adult boundary to suggest strategy shifts more appropriate to the mindset of today’s teen. ---
**Author:** ![Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnac_the_Magnificent)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/32 "2005-07-29T17:59:18Z")
> [@smiling bandit](#): > > … an 11-year old isn’t likely physically or mentally equipped to want sex, much less actively pursue it. On what are you basing your assumption? How “mentally equipped” must one be to want to have sex? ---
**Author:** ![Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnac_the_Magnificent)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/33 "2005-07-29T18:00:32Z")
BTW, I am in no way condoning or advocating sexual activity anywhere close to that age, but it happens far more than you seem to understand. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/34 "2005-07-29T20:38:52Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > Thanks, folks. I’ll tell my friend that she can relax a bit. > > It must be very difficult to be the parent of an 11-year-old girl these days. Wait a couple of years… ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/35 "2005-07-29T20:46:49Z")
I’d bet the meaning varies not just with age group, but with location. I’ve never heard “hook up” used with any sexual connotation whatsoever. “You wanna hook up later?” means “let’s meet someplace.” However, I’ve never lived in a big city urban environment, and it may well mean something different to my kids than it does to me. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/36 "2005-07-29T21:14:37Z")
> [@Hello Again](#): > > Actually in high school my friends developed a percentage system to clarify things. > > 10% = some kissing – 100% = sex Obviously, your high school friends are from another planet. Everybody knows that the proper classification system for “how far you got” on a date is the Baseball System: [ul][li]1st base = kissing[/li][li]2nd base = contact with female’s breasts[/li][li]3rd base = contact with partner’s genitalia[/li][li]Home = intercourse[/ul][/li](Oral sex used to be considered on par with intercourse, but these days it has been demoted to the status of yet another 3rd Base activity.) ---
**Author:** ![abby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@abby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abby)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/37 "2005-07-30T04:44:20Z")
> [@archmichael](#): > > I also wonder if it is an example of a term being mainstreamed by clueless people. Paula Abdul kept on talking about the ‘money shot’ (don’t know if she still does), using the term to mean a great picture, when to me it has only been a porn industry term. Interesting you say this. I am a porn producer, and have never once used this term - even jokingly - in relation to porn. I have also worked on documentaries, film, and TV shoots, and heard it used now and then in that context. It’s the “decisive moment” in an ad - the shot of the lawn-mower on a black background well lit with it’s chrome attachments glowing and fire-engine red body bold and ready to MOW YOUR LAWN. It’s also used in those crappy TV shows like Jerry Springer. When the dude starts beting on the other guy who messed with his wife - that’s a money shot. THat’s the sort of shot they’ll use to promo the show in ads. I am aware of the crass connotation, and I do not doubt that it is used that way, but it’s also used in many other contexts in the media world. FTR, I deal with 18, 19 year old girls alla time, and hear them use the term “hook up” alla time, and it never means sex - just means “meet up” (They are most Australian, however). Of course, they may be meeting to have sex, but then, the 11 year old might be having sex as well, regardless of the term she uses to meet up with her buddies. If the mum is that concerned, surely it’s time to talk about the birds and bees and that, right? a ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/38 "2005-07-30T13:47:06Z")
I asked my 14 year old daughter and she says “hooking up” can mean anything from meeting to picking out china. If you have any further questions, maybe we can hook up later.😉 ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/39 "2005-08-05T00:55:49Z")
> [@abby](#): > > Interesting you say this. I am a porn producer, and have never once used this term [“money shot”] - even jokingly - in relation to porn. Do you work with paid (i.e. professional) porn actors, or amateur porn actors? My understanding is that the term, as used among porn actors, refers to the fact that if ejaculation doesn’t occur, the sequence can’t be used in the final cut – and if the sequence doesn’t appear in the final cut, the actors don’t get paid. ---
**Author:** ![abby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@abby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abby)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/40 "2005-08-05T01:11:38Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > Do you work with paid (i.e. professional) porn actors, or amateur porn actors? > > My understanding is that the term, as used among porn actors, refers to the fact that if ejaculation doesn’t occur, the sequence can’t be used in the final cut – and if the sequence doesn’t appear in the final cut, the actors don’t get paid. Hi Tracer Yah, I work with amateurs (and, in fact, I do not really produce hetro stuff anyway… but I speak regularly with people who do). There are plenty of options for getting over an actor who cannot finish his business when required (to the extent of having a stand in for the closeup shot). Sounds like a rumour from the 80’s, more than anything. I agree that the meaning has changed from then… But my point was, saying “hooking up = sex” is the same as “money shot = porn” is, ironically, a good comparison (tho it was not intended). “money shot” is not only used in porn, and “hooking up” is not only for the purpose of sex (judging by the majority of posts here). a [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663.md?page=3)