# Does "hooking up" always imply sexual activity?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [July 28, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663 "2005-07-28T22:50:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Corrvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@Corrvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corrvin)\
**Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/41 "2005-08-05T14:15:06Z")

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> [@pinkfreud](#):
>
> She does plan to discuss this with her daughter. But she’s aware that kids don’t always tell the truth about such things.
> 
> The mother/daughter talk about sex happened quite some time ago, and mom said that the daughter seemed unimpressed and said that she had “already learned most of that stuff” from watching television! HBO, what hast thou wrought?

Kids of increasingly young ages have more clues about the physical nature of sex. If that was the nature of “the talk” then of course she knew what Mom was talking about.

But what, on the other hand, of the things that she can’t learn from watching TV? She couldn’t learn what her parents think-- and more importantly she didn’t get a chance to talk about what SHE thought (if she had, chances are Mom would know what she meant by “hooking up” by now).

Our affection-precocious child announced to us in kindergarten that she liked “that boy over there because he’s so cute. I wish he was my boyfriend.” Does that mean she was probably _gasp_ having sex with him, just because I (a grownup, at least chronologically) have sex with all my boyfriends? No, she may not even have any romantic-type feelings other than a sort of pride in having gotten him to agree to it. (Honesty compels me to admit that the same thing rather applies to some adults, too.)

But it DOES mean that I have a special obligation to **listen to her** as she grows older, because I have to figure out what words are being used instead of “boyfriend” and “hooking up” and the terms that unequivocally meant “romantic/sexual activity” fifteen years ago. Her father has already been told that she cannot be locked away until 18 and then allowed to go on group dates only. :dubious:

Corr

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**Author:** ![Sensibility](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@Sensibility](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sensibility)\
**Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-hooking-up-always-imply-sexual-activity/314663/42 "2005-08-05T16:30:27Z")

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For what its worth - ‘hooking up’ in my language just means getting together with, meeting up for a chat with, hanging out with etc. Although if its an 11 year old thats said it - perhaps your best point of reference would be another 11 year old!!

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