# Does it bother you when people love their kids? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 20, 2011, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-it-bother-you-when-people-love-their-kids/606810 "2011-12-20T03:54:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![ProbablyProcrastinating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@ProbablyProcrastinating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ProbablyProcrastinating)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-it-bother-you-when-people-love-their-kids/606810/61 "2011-12-21T21:42:51Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Yeah, but some of them have lost their identity… > > You know it exists, don’t act like it doesn’t. “Love” (or so they call it) can be used as a weapon as much, if not more so, than neglect. But that is so rare. Most people obsess over their small children and then slowly get back into their own lives. I love my own children and fawn over them but believe me at 18 months I was ready to go out and get back to work. My facebook profile is not always my kids. I have a life. But yes, I am obsessed. It would be odd if I weren’t. [QUOTE=Maiira] I HATE the idea of losing my identity like that, because I’m continuously discovering new things about myself, and I don’t want to lose all of that just because I had a kid. [/QUOTE] You know what’s more interesting than continuously discovering new things about yourself? Continuously discovering new things about someone else, or several other people, and a family unit, and many aspects of society. You’d be amazed how fun it is to enjoy another person so completely. ---
**Author:** ![Theophane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@Theophane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Theophane)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-it-bother-you-when-people-love-their-kids/606810/62 "2011-12-23T02:34:31Z")
> [@ecoaster](#): > > Intentionally ambiguous/misleading question, intended to provoke a convo… > > Sometimes I feel uncomfortable when I see parents loving their kids (infants/toddlers/ young children) so much. Like I get this sneaking suspicion that the love and affection is actually masking some deeper personal insecurity. Normally I feel this with parents in their early 30s who lavish attention and praise on their kid(s) or who act like the child is the center of the universe. Just to be clear, parents should love their kids, but sometimes the expression of it seems so selfish and narrow. Or overbearing. > > Oddly I am a very emotional/sentimental guy and I like kids just fine even though I don’t have any of my own (I am in a committed relationship and I had a very good upbringing, BTW). My parents loved me (any my sibs) but I certainly don’t remember them treating us like we were little saints. > > I don’t get annoyed by kids in the least, just overly-loving parents…anyone else? I wasn’t aware it was possible to be an “overly-loving” parent. How could too much love for one’s children be bad? Do you mean when parents spoil their kids, coddle them? If that’s what you mean, I’m with you. I am indeed bothered by parents who coddle their kids. ---
**Author:** ![Purple\_Scottie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a698b9/32.png) [@Purple\_Scottie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purple_Scottie)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-it-bother-you-when-people-love-their-kids/606810/63 "2011-12-23T03:02:12Z")
Generally, no – the only time it bothers me is the situations where is it clearly inappropriate for children to be present. To clarify, I’m not talking about restaurants, cultural events, etc. but when my patients bring children to appointments where it is inappropriate for the children to be hearing the content of the conversation/evaluation and where avoidance of covering the areas of evaluation which are not appropriate for the children to be present would impair patient care. Examples include sexual dysfunction evaluations where I need to ask very specific questions about the patient’s sexual dysfunction, evaluations of patients who are primarily referred for marital difficulties/other relationship problems, and evaluations of patients with severe trauma (whether due to military experiences or sexual abuse). For a routine follow-up of a patient followed for depression or anxiety, who is generally stable, it is a distraction but as long as it is a rare thing and the patient genuinely expressed an effort to obtain child care during the time, but in those cases I am understanding… it’s why also I keep bubbles and crayons/paper stashed away in case a child needs to be kept busy. In the other cases, I would much prefer the patient contact me (even if last minute) and reschedule and I will always ask them if there are specific days/times where it is easier for them to obtain childcare so they can make the appointment. Rarely, I have to inform the patient that it is not appropriate to continue or that certain topics are not appropriate for the child to hear but they are areas that need to be covered in order for them to receive optimal care. Seeing kids get hugs and kisses or other affection from parents – that’s great! ETA: as for restaurants, cultural events, I think parents should balance exposing their children to these events/places with consideration for others and common sense. Starting out maybe at matinees or symphony performances specifically designed as “child friendly” may be a good step. There are some parents who don’t do this but I think there are probably more (at least in my experience) who do a great job in this area. ---
**Author:** ![Comicenbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Comicenbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Comicenbe)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-it-bother-you-when-people-love-their-kids/606810/64 "2011-12-23T03:12:30Z")
Lol no, it’s adorable. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-it-bother-you-when-people-love-their-kids/606810.md?page=3)