# Does lembas taste like crap to the elves? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 9, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209 "2005-02-09T15:59:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/41 "2005-02-11T00:59:33Z")
wile e, i’m gonna have ta weave “launch fragrances” into everyday speech. thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/42 "2005-02-11T01:22:17Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > The recipe is a tightly-controlled secret, probably known only to Galadriel in the Third Age. She, in turn, would have learned the recipe from Melian the Maia, and Melian wouldn’t have learned it from anyone. Actually, Melian got the recipe from a department store, but found a huge charge on the bill, and so passed the recipe to Galadriel in revenge… ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/43 "2005-02-11T13:21:48Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Let’s just put it this way. I would shag an elf almost anytime. I’m not attracted to females and I’d shag a female elf anytime. Unless they were old and decrepit it’s never something I would turn down. > > I \*like \* this. I’m calling him Turtle-Man from now on. That’s fair. I’m imagining you shagging female elves from now on. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/44 "2005-02-11T14:22:25Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > That’s fair. I’m imagining you shagging female elves from now on. 😉 You wanna put on some pointy ears? ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/45 "2005-02-11T14:26:46Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > You wanna put on some pointy ears? Well, I could make a passable male elf, but there’s got to be some female elves in there too. Did I mention that approximately 75% of my Dungeons and Dragons characters have been Elves? This, and other “Nerd Pick-up Lines” now available in this two-volume set… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/46 "2005-02-11T14:36:38Z")
Well, nearly all of my D&D characters have been male. So it just goes to show. Show what, I’m not sure. Besides, I like nerds & geeks. I’m one of both. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/47 "2005-02-11T14:41:44Z")
I see, I see. Well, here’s another nerd pick-up line for you: “Whoa! I just failed my saving throw versus sexy!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/48 "2005-02-11T14:49:21Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > “Whoa! I just failed my saving throw versus sexy!” :dubious: Usually, just telling me you play D&D is a good start. Telling me you’ve DMed (a very, very difficult job IMO) is even better. And telling me you play elves isn’t bad either! Now we’ve really identified ourselves as geeks to the world. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/49 "2005-02-11T14:57:00Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > :dubious: Usually, just telling me you play D&D is a good start. > > Telling me you’ve DMed (a very, very difficult job IMO) is even better. > > And telling me you play elves isn’t bad either! > > Now we’ve really identified ourselves as geeks to the world. Hey, I’ve been a Dungeon Master for 14 years now. It’s weird… when I mention that to women, they usually don’t seem impressed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/50 "2005-02-11T15:03:38Z")
Get a room. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/51 "2005-02-11T15:07:18Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Get a room. :rolleyes: Go away. Who invited \*you \* here? ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/52 "2005-02-11T15:10:39Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Get a room. :rolleyes: Okay. There’s a 10’ x 10’ Stone Room. With an Orc Inside. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/53 "2005-02-11T15:12:32Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Okay. There’s a 10’ x 10’ Stone Room. With an Orc Inside. _snort_ Let’s put \*\*Bosda \*\* in it, who obviously got up on the wrong side of the bed today. Seriously, I have DMed occasionally before, and it’s hard. I’ve only ever done it with a couple of friends who knew I was new at it, and while I had a couple of good ideas, it wears you out, trying to out-think everyone. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/54 "2005-02-11T15:21:05Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > _snort_ > > Let’s put \*\*Bosda \*\* in it, who obviously got up on the wrong side of the bed today. > > Seriously, I have DMed occasionally before, and it’s hard. I’ve only ever done it with a couple of friends who knew I was new at it, and while I had a couple of good ideas, it wears you out, trying to out-think everyone. If you like, we can continue the Gamemastering related chat over here : [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5828126](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5828126) Flirting optional. ---
**Author:** ![Domokun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c77e96/32.png) [@Domokun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Domokun)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/55 "2005-02-11T15:40:31Z")
I put on my robe and wizard hat. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/56 "2005-02-11T15:52:50Z")
> [@Domokun](#): > > I put on my robe and wizard hat. Is it pointy? **rocking chair** , I’d like to take total credit for the launch fragrances line but the idea came from a recent MPSIMS thread by (I can’t remember whom) about a news blurb on Sarah Jessica Parker launching a fragrance which was turned into a fart joke, of course. This just seemed to be a perfect thread to use the phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/57 "2005-02-11T16:24:08Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > As for the rest, Orcs are presumed to be derived from corrupted Elves, and I’m quite certain that orcs fart. So the capability is presumably present in Elvish physiology. Not necessarily. Isn’t it possible that elves are just so perfect that they absorb food perfectly, and don’t even have, uh, an excretery orifice, but that when Melkor was corrupting them into orcs he thought flatulance was appropriate so, uh, ripped them a new one? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/58 "2005-02-11T16:49:29Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > Not necessarily. Isn’t it possible that elves are just so perfect that they absorb food perfectly, and don’t even have, uh, an excretery orifice, but that when Melkor was corrupting them into orcs he thought flatulance was appropriate so, uh, ripped them a new one? Yes, but if they don’t have that orifice they’re missing out on a lot of fun, aren’t they? :o ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/59 "2005-02-11T19:06:51Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Okay. There’s a 10’ x 10’ Stone Room. With an Orc Inside. > [@Anaamika](#): > > _snort_ > > Let’s put \*\*Bosda \*\* in it, who obviously got up on the wrong side of the bed today. > > Seriously, I have DMed occasionally before, and it’s hard. I’ve only ever done it with a couple of friends who knew I was new at it, and while I had a couple of good ideas, it wears you out, trying to out-think everyone. Okay, I’ll go into the 10X10 room. But I insist on being able to pick my own orc. [THIS ONE](http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dungeon/9979/orcchr.htm) Who, incidently, is Hot To Talk To Young & Studly Adventurers, For 10 GP Per Minute. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209/60 "2005-02-11T19:18:08Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Okay, I’ll go into the 10X10 room. > > But I insist on being able to pick my own orc. > [THIS ONE](http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Dungeon/9979/orcchr.htm) > > Who, incidently, is Hot To Talk To Young & Studly Adventurers, For 10 GP Per Minute. > > 😃 _looks at picture_ _blinks_ _runs screaming from the thread_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-lembas-taste-like-crap-to-the-elves/289209.md?page=4)