# Does masterbation cause blindness?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 16, 2009, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610 "2009-08-16T09:03:10Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/41 "2009-08-17T00:06:24Z")
> [@sjc](#):
>
> My take on it is that either one can cause you to go blind, but masturbation will usually make it happen more quickly because you can do it more often. Note that I don’t actually believe this, but I think that many people who have problem with masturbation also consider sex a bit unwholesome too.
Syphilis can make you go blind so hanging out in Red Light districts may not be they best way to preserve your eyesight as a practical alternative to masturbation. Masturbation can definitely make you go blind in the sense that being dead doesn’t allow you to see. Just ask the people that die every year from auto-erotic asphyxiation.
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### Author:  [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/42 "2009-08-17T01:13:46Z")
> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> When you pushed the Q Tip in your ear, you should probably have stopped when you encountered resistance.
I don’t think he ever did.
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### Author:  [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/43 "2009-08-17T01:26:24Z")
> [@twickster](#):
>
> Q.E.D.
😃
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/44 "2009-08-17T01:42:07Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> Just ask the people that die every year from auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Now, how is he going to ask them if they are dead? 🙂
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### Author:  [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/45 "2009-08-17T01:53:31Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> Now, how is he going to ask them if they are dead? 🙂
It’s poor form to assume certain people can’t communicate.
Just ask Helen Keller.
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### Author:  [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/46 "2009-08-17T02:08:46Z")
Authoritative answer in [post=11258498]this post[/post]. 😃
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/47 "2009-08-17T02:10:04Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#):
>
> It’s poor form to assume certain people can’t communicate.
>
> Just ask Helen Keller.
Tacky, very tacky. :dubious:
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### Author:  [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/48 "2009-08-17T02:23:06Z")
Sorry, I thought this thread was in the BBQ Pit because of the, err, everything.
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### Author:  [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/49 "2009-08-17T02:28:12Z")
I am unable to read this thread.
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### Author:  [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/50 "2009-08-17T02:48:02Z")
This is why ghosts are real… or at least I think they are.
😃
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/51 "2009-08-17T03:18:12Z")
Wait a minute…Ghosts jack…er, masterbait?
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### Author:  [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/52 "2009-08-17T04:05:19Z")
Pet cockatiel accidentally a whole package of q-tips. Cockatiel masturbated. Cockatiel to eye vet, see better than I do and I never a whole package of q-tips.
Oh, and trout fisherman are master baiters.
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### Author:  [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/53 "2009-08-17T04:23:56Z")
It causes vision impairment, not complete blindness. I had perfect vision when I started masturbating as a teen. Now, rapidly approaching 50, I still masturbate almost daily (some days I just don’t care as much about it, a sign of middle age for sure) but my vision is complete crap. I don’t even try to see without eyeglasses anymore. I can categorically state, however, that my palms have no hair growing from them.
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/54 "2009-08-17T04:40:12Z")
> [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](#):
>
> However, I’ve heard it said that unfortunately, the kitten won’t survive. ☹
On the plus side, the rabbit will.
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/55 "2009-08-17T04:58:14Z")
> [@KlondikeGeoff](#):
>
> [QUOTE=Harmonious Discord]
> It can cause you to have a stroke and go blind. It can cause hypoglycemia from exercising and that can make you go blind over time.
It also will make you grow hair on the palms of your hands.
[/QUOTE]
And since hairy palms are a telltale sign of being a werewolf, you’ll have even more problems. No doubt this explains why there is so much random violence; all those blind werewolves created by masturbation.
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### Author:  [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/56 "2009-08-17T05:13:11Z")
OK fellow Dopers, I know that you tell yourself that Masturbating hasn’t cause you any Ocular Damage, but are you sure?
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### Author:  [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/57 "2009-08-17T06:26:09Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#):
>
> I realize this thread is a joke, but the false belief of yore that masturbation causes, well, anything is an utter failure of logic.
>
> The reason masturbation works in the first place is that the body can’t tell whether it’s having real or simulated intercourse. .
I can assure you that my body would most definitely know if I was having a swift one off the wrist or if I was giving Halle Berry a savage rogering
Not that I’ve ever given Halle Berry one, but I can dream
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### Author:  [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/58 "2009-08-17T12:07:17Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#):
>
> It causes vision impairment, not complete blindness. I had perfect vision when I started masturbating as a teen. Now, rapidly approaching 50, I still masturbate almost daily (some days I just don’t care as much about it, a sign of middle age for sure) but my vision is complete crap. I don’t even try to see without eyeglasses anymore. I can categorically state, however, that my palms have no hair growing from them.
How do you know for sure–you said yourself you can’t see all that well. I bet there are fine hairs sprouting on your palms right NOW! 😛
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### Author:  [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/59 "2009-08-17T12:13:41Z")
Don’t ask me how I know but a friend told me that if you are exceptionally talented, you can hit your own eyeball with semen while masturbating. It burns like hell too. I guess if you are really, really good you could take out both eyes at once.
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### Author:  [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2009, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-masterbation-cause-blindness/506610/60 "2009-08-17T12:14:48Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#):
>
> How do you know for sure–you said yourself you can’t see all that well. I bet there are fine hairs sprouting on your palms right NOW! 😛
You know, now that you mention it, it all makes sense. What? No! I meant Spider-man. Spider bite my arse, the movie clearly showed he could crawl up walls due to several microscopic hairs growing on his hands. The Spider bite just hurt, poor kid was just lonely and kept watching MJ next door and, well, you can figure out the rest.
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