# Does my friend suck at the Internet? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 18, 2002, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897 "2002-03-18T17:40:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897/21 "2002-03-21T20:46:02Z")
> [@](#): > > the rape threats thing left him without the Internet so his mom can’t work. This makes no sense. I buy that he was legally restricted from using the Internet, and for good reason. But why can his mom not use it? There are ways of keeping him off it while allowing her access, and frankly, he doesn’t sound bright enough to get around those blocks. Kids can be bad people. Even as young as 15. Get him out of your life and focus on people who won’t drag you down with them. ---
**Author:** ![tisiphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tisiphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tisiphone)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897/22 "2002-03-21T22:26:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Du\_Hast \* > \*\*A few things make this even more complicated. > > 1)He’s got a lot of problems right now. His mom is terminally ill, and the rape threats thing left him without the Internet so his mom can’t work. With the exception of his mom’s illness, this is all his fault, granted, but the last thing this kid (he’s only 15, so am I) needs is his only real friend killing all ties with him. > > 2)He’s one of two friends I have. The other is a sensible kid named **M**. I don’t want to dump out dirty water until I have clean. \*\* 1. Well, maybe his last friend telling him his behaviour is completely unacceptable and deserting him will bring this jerk around. 2. You won’t get any new friends 'til you get rid of him. Guilt by association, man. By their friends ye shall know them, and other sage advice. 3. You didn’t answer - how is this guy your friend in the first place? Did he save your life when you were seven? Why is he entitled to your forgiveness and your friendship? Exactly why **shouldn’t** you free him to go to hell by himself in a handcart of his choice? You can’t save anyone that doesn’t want to be saved…but they can certainly drag you right along with them, as you’ve discovered. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897/23 "2002-03-21T23:15:55Z")
“Even more complicated”? It isn’t complicated at all. He is bad news. He is very dirty water. Bin him. Ditch him. Shun him. Then he can either continue being a sociopathic knobbo, or do something to stop being a sociopathic knobbo. (His mother needs to stop his bad behaviour affecting her opportunity to work. There are ways she could do this. Easy, non-technical ways, like keeping the damn computer under lock and key.) Meanwhile, you get on with **your** life. Besides, IMO, you could find better friends under a rock. Stop letting other people shit up your life! ---
**Author:** ![spathiphyllum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6f9a4e/32.png) [@spathiphyllum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spathiphyllum)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897/24 "2002-03-22T05:52:17Z")
Have to agree that he sounds immature at best and more likely psychologically disturbed. However I can understand why you feel bad about deserting him when he has to deal with such a tragic situation with his mom. In fact, if his mother has been sick for a long time, I can easily imagine that may have something to do with his being a jerk or “disturbed”. If he’s depressed or bitter about his mom’s illness, he may not be as rational or considerate of others as he should be. I really think you should try to encourage him to get professional counseling. It’s easy to just get pissed off at “bad kids” like this, but if he has emotional or mental problems (and I think it sounds like he does), then it is more compassionate to find him some help rather than just walking away from the problem. Especially since teens are at such a vulnerable age for committing suicide or violence against others. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897/25 "2002-03-22T11:57:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tansu \* > Stop letting other people shit up your life! Best advice you’ll ever get on this, or any other, planet. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2002, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897/26 "2002-03-22T12:15:57Z")
I echo the sentiment here. I’ve had friends in the past that were screwed up, and I helped them find a straighter path in life (I think). I had two in high school that loved going out and getting stoned, and occasionally trying harder stuff…I’d usually try to guide them in the right direction. Eventually, they saw the light and stopped using. The difference between them and this guy is: they were FRIENDS. They’d stick up for me in any situation, and they’d never do anything to hurt me directly (they’re stupid enough to ask me to smoke pot with them, but when I said no, it was “ok, see you tomorrow.”) They would never have tried to bring me down with them, or hurt me, or pin a crime on me. They were good kids, with good hearts, that just had some troubles. I think I helped (along with family) get them on the right path, and we had a lot of fun times together. Anyone who does what this guy does, though, is NOT your friend. No friend tries to pin a felony on another friend. No friend (of mine, anyway) tries to deliberately hurt other people, physically or emotionally. They were stupid enough to hurt themselves, but they always tried to be good to others. Dump this guy, and MAYBE, he’ll realize that he’s a screwup and get some help. He might realize that your friendship was something special, and that he screwed up. If he doesn’t, you’re free of him, and he can go self destruct without bringing you down with him. Jman ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897/27 "2002-03-23T18:28:25Z")
I agree with **Du\_Hast**. No matter how screwed up he is, I don’t think his last friend should desert him. **Du** is showing a remarkable amount of character and charitability by not abandoning his friend. ---
**Author:** ![Mad\_Matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Mad\_Matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mad_Matt)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897/28 "2002-03-23T19:48:15Z")
He who lies with dogs get fleas. Dich him before the itching gets sooooo bad. ---
**Author:** ![Stinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@Stinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stinky)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897/29 "2002-03-23T20:59:51Z")
The fact that your his friend really makes me wonder about you.If you ever want any real friends you have to lose him. Because anyone worth knowing is going to stay away from both of you. And don’t even think any self respecting girls will even notice that you you live on the same planet. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897/30 "2002-03-27T23:50:25Z")
I’m a little late to the game here, but: **Du\_Hast** , what you’re doing is not, in fact, helping. It’s _enabling_. People who do the sorts of things you’re talking about, _if they can be helped at all_, won’t ask for help/change/stop acting the jerk, until their behavior costs them more than they are willing to pay. He’s still got **a** friend, he’s got no need to stop. Mind you, dumping him won’t necessarilly get him on the path to righteousness, but it’ll stop him from doing damage to _you_. Your “buddy” came _this close_ to making you a convicted criminal. He damn-near suceeded in branding you a _sex offender_. It matters not that he failed, he still tried to de-rail your entire future. That may be forgivable, but giving him the chance, no matter how small, to take another stab at it is non-survival. Dumb. Insane. Any obligation you may feel towards him is grossly outweighed by your obligation to yourself. Time to cut the ties. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-my-friend-suck-at-the-internet/98897.md?page=1)