# Does (nearly) everything have to be qualified nowadays? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 27, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308 "2005-04-27T02:59:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/1 "2005-04-27T02:59:41Z")
Despite the joke in the title, I’m serious. Does freakin’ _everything_ have to be qualified nowadays? There’s a couple of MPSIMS joke threads that play on _typical_ communication differences between [men](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=313726) and [women](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=313738), with the “Decoding man-speak” thread coming first (I mention this because I know, somehow, that if this thread has any legs that question will come up. Consider yourself pre-empted.) Sadly, the OP in _both_ of the threads, **huk-24** or **Johnny L.A.** forgot to qualify their threads with a disclaimer: \*This thread is made in jest. I, the OP, and all rational denizens of the Straight Dope realize that communicative differences between males and females is a SERIOUS SUBJECT with REAL CONSEQUENCES. I would like to not only apologize in advance, I will even take the time to start new threads dealing with the consequences of this thread: [ul]_A GD Thread where we can discuss various methods of overcoming this grave cycle of miscommunication._[/ul] [ul]_A Pit Thread where you can damn me to hell (and call me Christian, Republican, American, and all sorts of similar despicable terms) for being so insensitive to this plight._[/ul] [ul]_A Cafe Society thread where we list music, movies, books, and plays with this as a theme. Actually, make that four threads, one for each form. And when I’m done with that, in keeping with time-honored Cafe Society tradition, I’ll be sure to make four “Contra-threads”, for books, movies, etc that do not have this as their theme._[/ul] Please, please take your complaints, groanings, and other comments to the threads I have so graciously provided you, and as you traverse these objectifying waters, please don’t forget: **this is a joke.** Thank you, The OP\* Honestly, people, can’t you just let it go? Do you have to jump on everybody who uses group-speak, especially in a friggin’ _joke_ thread? I gotta tell you people: lighten up. Life is better that way. Hell, if **I** was _that_ sensitive I wouldn’t have stayed here past my first day, much less be a renewer, 'cause to listen to the _ **accepted** _ group-speak on the SDMB, I’m the most evil person here: an American White Male Conservative Christian-(kind of) Republican Rich-(kind of) Corporate Executive. So grow a pair and let people have fun, willya? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/2 "2005-04-27T03:17:27Z")
I tell people they can only take seriously about half of what I say, and I’m joking about the other half. I guess I should put out a memo. I _thought_ that my OP would have been obvious with my ‘equal time’ link right at the top. I _thought_ that inter-sex communications difficulties have been a common source of amusement for decades (including some current commercials and sitcoms). I guess some people just don’t have a sense of humour. [sub]BTW: How far are you from Clifton? My ex-fiancée could use a better job.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![fushj00mang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@fushj00mang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fushj00mang)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/3 "2005-04-27T03:20:11Z")
If you don’t qualify your writing, then someone will see fit to disqualify it 😉 All bad jokes aside, I’ve got to agree with you (but not just on the boards.) It seems that in casual conversation you’ll hear more and more often someone saying “But there was this XXXXX, not that there’s anything wrong with XXXXX…” It makes me sick! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/4 "2005-04-27T03:22:13Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > I tell people they can only take seriously about half of what I say, and I’m joking about the other half. I guess I should put out a memo. > > I _thought_ that my OP would have been obvious with my ‘equal time’ link right at the top. I _thought_ that inter-sex communications difficulties have been a common source of amusement for decades (including some current commercials and sitcoms). > > I guess some people just don’t have a sense of humour. > > [sub]BTW: How far are you from Clifton? My ex-fiancée could use a better job.[/sub] I live and work in Knoxville which, according to Mapquest, is a mere 290 miles away. Of course, in the real world it might be MUCH closer. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/5 "2005-04-27T03:22:52Z")
Man, did I see this thread coming. Some people are just too damn politically correct and too eager to be offended. Why can’t we let our collective guards down and just poke a little good natured fun at ourselves and each other? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/6 "2005-04-27T03:25:55Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Man, did I see this thread coming. Some people are just too damn politically correct and too eager to be offended. Why can’t we let our collective guards down and just poke a little good natured fun at ourselves and each other? But from which perspective? Somebody complaining about the threads, or somebody complaining about the complaints in the threads. Or maybe you’re complaining about the complaints made about the complainers in (future, hypothetical) complaint threads. 😕 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/7 "2005-04-27T03:26:51Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > I live and work in Knoxville which, according to Mapquest, is a mere 290 miles away. > > Of course, in the real world it might be MUCH closer. 😉 Ah, well. Maybe she’ll move. Unlike me, she’s fairly Conservative and a Christian; so she’d probably fit in. 😉 > [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Man, did I see this thread coming. Some people are just too damn politically correct and too eager to be offended. Why can’t we let our collective guards down and just poke a little good natured fun at ourselves and each other? As I said in my ‘Do Americans Take Themselves Too Seriously’ thread, I think people need to lighten up. Hell, I poke fun at myself all the time! ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/8 "2005-04-27T03:28:02Z")
Apparently some people just are not happy unless they have something to be offended and bitching about. Which is why they show up in a humorous little thread and piss all over it while ignoring the other humorous little thread that’s virtually identical. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/9 "2005-04-27T03:33:15Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Apparently some people just are not happy unless they have something to be offended and bitching about. > > Which is why they show up in a humorous little thread and piss all over it while ignoring the other humorous little thread that’s virtually identical. I noticed that too. (What **Catsix** is referring is that it took less than two hours for the “woman speak” thread to get jumped on by the “You damned generalizers - you’re all the same!” crowd, while it took 23 hours for the “man speak” thread to have the same courtesy extended to them - and even then I had to prompt the complainers in the “woman speak” thread to give both threads “equal” treatment.) ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/10 "2005-04-27T03:34:56Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > But from which perspective? Somebody complaining about the threads, or somebody complaining about the complaints in the threads. > > Or maybe you’re complaining about the complaints made about the complainers in (future, hypothetical) complaint threads. 😕 > > 😉 Ouch, my head hurts. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/11 "2005-04-27T03:42:29Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > I tell people they can only take seriously about half of what I say, and I’m joking about the other half. I guess I should put out a memo. I sure as hell hope you mean putting out a memo in a figurative sense, not a literal sense, because that’s an awful lot of memos to send out, and pretty insensitive to the dire problem of old-growth forests being mowed down to make paper. It’s the comments of earth-abusing nature-hating self-absorbed paper-wasting people like you who have ruined this world, not to mention the SDMB, with your thoughtless, cavalier comments about “sending out the memo” and 'I never got that memo" and other supposedly hilarious comments that make light of paper use. Sure, you’ll protest that you’re just joking. You’ll say I’m overly sensitive. But I think we should strive for a community where tree-lovers and paper conservationists can feel SAFE and don’t have to endure those unpleasant surprises. You know, they’re just trying to enjoy a little online edification and amusement–just a little break from the arduous planning of activities for Arbor Day, because damnit it even a dedicated treehugger needs a \break\ now and then–when blammo, they’re cruelly blindsided by some “cute” little comment about memos in a thread. It gets so you can’t go into any thread without cringing, wondering when the random tree-slam is going to come out of nowhere. Go ahead, roll your eyes and make little jokes with your other online friends. Mock my pain, tell me I’m humor-impaired. Maybe you’d like to tell me to go buy myself a sense of humor, which would just be the perfect quip from your consumerist self, wouldn’t it? But I’m telling you these things are hurtful. They hurt me, and they hurt trees, and the sad thing is that \they hurt you, too.\ And you don’t even know it. I speak for the trees. And it’s NOT funny. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/12 "2005-04-27T03:47:54Z")
> [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](#): > > I speak for the trees. And it’s NOT funny. Hey, after seeing what the trees did to Sonny Bono and that other guy who got whacked skiing, I take trees _very_ seriously! ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/13 "2005-04-27T03:58:13Z")
I hear you, and I guess that’s just the nature if the SDMB. Where else could a thread break down like this: MPSIMS: “Hey everybody, my dog just had puppies today.” Next poster: “So how do you feel about that?” Mods: “Moved to IMHO” OP: “Hey everybody, my dog just had puppies today.” Next poster: “Cite please” Mods: “Moved to GD” OP: “Hey everybody, my dog just had puppies today.” Next poster: “Well, they’re probably Republicans, so bite my ass!” Mods: Moved to the Pit." OP: “Well, fuck ya’ll then, I just threw the puppies on the grill!” Next poster(NP): “Well, I’m a member of PETA and that’s a bad thing.” NP: “Well, I like to hunt those little bastards.” NP: “So, are you circumcised?” NP: “So, what do you think about remote viewing those little moon colonies?” NP: “Bush sucks, Clinton sucks, everybody is eeevil!” Trainwreck…let’s do it again tomorrow. Gotcha Ya. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/14 "2005-04-27T04:55:43Z")
I’d just like to reclaim the ability for people to use descriptors in the telling of a story without catching hell for it. “I was standing in the checkout line, setting my basket down on the belt, when the person in front of me, a large black woman with three little kids…” 1. “Why do you need to point out that she was black? Are you RACIST?!?!” 2. “Why do you need to point out that she was ‘large’? _Do you discriminate against people of size_?!?!” 3. “Why do you need to point out that she had kids? Do you… **HATE CHILDREN**?!?!” Yes. Yes on all counts. You caught me. I was telling this story not to provide an amusing account of something that happened to me earlier, but as an insidious attempt to bend you toward my racist, weightist, age-ist agenda of evil. I included the descriptors not to provide a clearer mental image of exactly what transpired, but instead to convey the notion that because this particular person did something rude, I hold a lifelong vehement hatred of all heavy black women with kids…and so should you. Busted. I can’t wait until the Cavalcade of the Offended starts applying this sort of horseshit to novelists. “Why did you need to mention that the main character was Hispanic, hmm? Oh, ‘background information’, my ass; it’s obvious from that scene where she gets mad when somebody stabs her husband that you’re saying all Hispanic women are temperamental bitches. Then, in that same scene, she _kills_ the guy! Are you implying that Hispanics are bunch of no-good killers? ARE YOU?! And for that matter, why did you even need to say that it was a woman? You’re just trying to insinuate that a MAN wouldn’t have done any of these awful things! You horrible, wretched bigot!” It’ll be a fun time. We’ll get books where everyone is named Pat or Kelly, and nobody has any ancestry, sexual preference, physical statistics, economic standing, or medical problems. Granted, it is a slightly different situation. See, in a work of fiction, the novelist could conceivably be using the character in question to convey some sort of agenda, whereas the person telling an anecdote is simply relating things that people who actually exist genuinely did. So, I can see why, when it comes to storytelling, we’d want to apply different standards to the nov–… Oh, wait. So, please, folks: calm yourselves. There is a difference between saying that members of a particular group are a certain way, and saying that specific people who behaved a certain way in one specific incident happened to be members of a particular group. When the context makes the intent uncertain, give people the benefit of the doubt, especially in a written medium. If nothing else, it’ll save you a whole lot of money on Excedrin. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/15 "2005-04-27T05:18:15Z")
Okay, yes, it was a joke, we all know it was meant as a joke. But it’s more of the battle-of-the-sexes stuff that never leads to anything good and speaks to a lot of really antique ideas. I dunno… what’s wrong with me that I read that stuff and it strikes me as really skeevy and coming from a lot of really skeevy ideas about gender, when everyone else seems to consider mocking one conversational strategy as “womanspeak” and mocking another conversational strategy as “manspeak” as natural as the clouds? We’re the same species, folks. It doesn’t help anyone to think of half of the species as “the other side,” some foreign country whose language you have to decode or whose spies you have to evade. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/16 "2005-04-27T05:26:14Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > We’re the same species, folks. It doesn’t help anyone to think of half of the species as “the other side,” some foreign country whose language you have to decode or whose spies you have to evade. Damn! There goes a whole industry! (The rules for men who hate women who make bad choices from Mars industry, I mean). ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/17 "2005-04-27T05:29:43Z")
> [@Hilarity N. Suze](#): > > Damn! There goes a whole industry! (The rules for men who hate women who make bad choices from Mars industry, I mean). And good riddance. As George Carlin said, “Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/18 "2005-04-27T12:15:13Z")
Nothing is funny to a person with a chip on his shoulder. Regards, Shodan OK - **her** shoulder! **Its** shoulder! **Their** shoulder! Whatever! ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/19 "2005-04-27T12:21:28Z")
Who will speak for the poor Republican puppies, though? ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308/20 "2005-04-27T12:45:40Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Who will speak for the poor Republican puppies, though? I’d like to, but Men are from Mars and Puppies are from Pluto. Or something. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-nearly-everything-have-to-be-qualified-nowadays/301308.md?page=2)