# Does oral sex usually occur before intercourse?

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [September 24, 2015, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384 "2015-09-24T06:52:51Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1

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### Author: ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/1 "2015-09-24T06:52:51Z")

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or does that just happen in pornography?  
(asking for a friend)

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### Author: ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/2 "2015-09-24T07:06:01Z")

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In my experience, when I have sex with a girl, usually no.  
When I have sex with a guy, almost always.

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### Author: ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/3 "2015-09-24T07:12:38Z")

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I think digital sex almost always occurs before intercourse  
Not sure about oral

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### Author: ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/4 "2015-09-24T07:16:26Z")

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If the OP is asking “If oral sex occurs, does it usually take place _before_ intercourse, I would say ‘yes’.” If the question is "In the ordinary course of events, is oral sex something that commonly happens in the lead up to intercourse? I would say it depends. Some people enjoy doing oral sex, some don’t, some enjoy receiving it, some are blasé about it.

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### Author: ![polar\_bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@polar\_bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/polar_bear)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/5 "2015-09-24T08:42:29Z")

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In my (admittedly warped) experience it happens before sex… but you can go back and forth really. First penetration doesn’t mean you’re not allowed out until the whole thing is finished. Then of course there are people that get off on oral sex after people have “finished”.

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### Author: ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/6 "2015-09-24T08:52:52Z")

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> [@jimbuff314](#):
>
> If the OP is asking “If oral sex occurs, does it usually take place _before_ intercourse, I would say ‘yes’.” If the question is "In the ordinary course of events, is oral sex something that commonly happens in the lead up to intercourse? I would say it depends. Some people enjoy doing oral sex, some don’t, some enjoy receiving it, some are blasé about it.

sorry now I realize the OP could be vague, but I meant the second

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### Author: ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/7 "2015-09-24T10:01:58Z")

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Before or after marriage?

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### Author: ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/8 "2015-09-24T10:11:13Z")

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in modern society, premarital sex is very common

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### Author: ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/9 "2015-09-24T10:23:44Z")

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On the SDMB “front page”, giving all the different sub-forums for one to click onto: the title of the thread currently in top place in the forum, is often abbreviated. As with this thread: abbreviated title, “Does oral sex usually occur…”. Seeing this initially, for a moment I was expecting the thread to be about a variation of Professor Higgins’s elocution exercise: “In Oakham, Oxfordshire and Oban, does oral sex usually occur often?”

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### Author: ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/10 "2015-09-24T11:34:49Z")

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> [@PSXer](#):
>
> in modern society, premarital sex is very common

Equally, postmarital sex is very UNcommon. 😉

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### Author: ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/11 "2015-09-24T11:49:15Z")

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Oral in my experience is generally a good prelude to penetration, an extension of foreplay.

I like receiving and I do like giving the little man in the boat a good tongue lashing, as well as cleaning his curtains.

[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/Dax_tnZRExc/maxresdefault.jpg "Monty Python - Sit on My Face (Official Lyric Video)") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dax_tnZRExc)

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### Author: ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/12 "2015-09-24T12:03:26Z")

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Jeez, OP, sex isn’t like painting by the numbers.

It’s more like… Jackson Pollock.

Yes, I just compared sex to Jackson Pollock. Deal with it. Although that simile doesn’t work quite as well the other way around.

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### Author: ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/13 "2015-09-24T12:10:32Z")

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If you’re lucky!

Also, in-between and after.

> [@Martian Bigfoot](#):
>
> Jeez, OP, sex isn’t like painting by the numbers.

Years ago, some girlfriends and I were comparing our experience with dating engineer types. We determined that there was some kind of sex flow chart going on. Oral sex came after panties off, but before intercourse. Always.

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### Author: ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/14 "2015-09-24T12:35:37Z")

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> [@GrumpyBunny](#):
>
> If you’re lucky!
> 
> Also, in-between and after.
> 
> Years ago, some girlfriends and I were comparing our experience with dating engineer types. We determined that there was some kind of sex flow chart going on. **Oral sex came after panties off** , but before intercourse. Always.

Isnt’ the bolded part kind of a given? Who likes licking cotton?

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### Author: ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/15 "2015-09-24T13:09:02Z")

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It depends on the gender involved. In the pornos, the standard sequence is, like clockwork, a bit of hand rubbing, a blow job, followed by intercourse with the male ejaculating on the woman’s face or mouth.

In real life, a more traditional sequence is varying amounts of foreplay before the woman is ready. (with my girlfriends, I have noticed that verbal foreplay can be more effective than actually touching.) Then, most women need oral sex to be really actually ready. Then about 5-15 minutes of intercourse, depending on how long it’s been since the last time for the man, and the man often falls asleep right after. I certainly feel a sense of tiredness at least as potent as a sleeping pill usually. As the man, I don’t need extensive handling or oral to be ready and I personally do not like receiving oral from a woman because I am concerned with what I must taste like.

I think my experience is typical, in pornos, the man needs ridiculous amounts of stimulation - tons of hand rubbing, tons of noisy oral, tons of intercourse that is extremely vigorous in 5 or more separate positions, even anal intercourse, and then in porno the man _still_ can’t get off from all this - he has to jerk himself off at the end. That doesn’t look all that fun to me.

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### Author: ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/16 "2015-09-24T14:38:28Z")

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> [@Habeed](#):
>
> As the man, I don’t need extensive handling or oral to be ready and I personally do not like receiving oral from a woman because I am concerned with what I must taste like.

As long as you’ve bathed that day and not gotten all sweaty, your penis tastes like any other part of your skin. Lick the inside of your arm. That’s what your penis tastes like. I’ve never known a person who objected to the taste of a clean penis. (They may not like the taste of semen, or the smell/taste of unwashed genitals, or other aspects of giving a blowjob, but that’s a different story.)

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### Author: ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/17 "2015-09-24T14:49:06Z")

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> [@Habeed](#):
>
> I personally do not like receiving oral from a woman because I am concerned with what I must taste like.

Like chicken, probably. That’s my go-to theory for what things taste like.

BTW, as a general aside applicable to the thread as a whole, I’ve always been a bit puzzled by people who talk about everything that happens before orgasm as stuff one needs to get through in order to arrive at orgasm. Maybe I’m weird, but I’ve always enjoyed the journey more than the destination. So much so that I’ll happily go a few rounds of journey before arriving. The sightseeing along the way is pretty good, IMO.

Stop and smell the flowers, and all that.

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### Author: ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/18 "2015-09-24T14:51:37Z")

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Somebody’s got a date.

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### Author: ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/19 "2015-09-24T14:53:26Z")

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It all depends on the people involved.

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### Author: ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)
#### Post date: [September 24, 2015, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384/20 "2015-09-24T15:12:19Z")

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> [@Martian Bigfoot](#):
>
> Jeez, OP, sex isn’t like painting by the numbers.
> 
> It’s more like… Jackson Pollock.
> 
> Yes, I just compared sex to Jackson Pollock. Deal with it. Although that simile doesn’t work quite as well the other way around.

Wow, your sex looks a whole lot more active than mine does. Mine is more like…Joan Miró?  
And IME, oral sex is the best when it’s a surprise. So, put it in there everywhere - before, during, after.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-oral-sex-usually-occur-before-intercourse/732384.md?page=2)
