# Does Orgasm Present an Intellectual Conflict? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 8, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227 "2011-11-08T00:43:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/1 "2011-11-08T00:43:24Z")
For me, it does: -you are working up to orgasm, and your sexual activity is giving you pleasure. You (naturally) want that pleasure to continue BT -you wish to orgasm (maximm plaesure)…but that means the end of it Do you face such a conflict while having sex? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/2 "2011-11-08T00:45:01Z")
No, I can have another right after. And another and another. No problem. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/3 "2011-11-08T00:45:42Z")
Yup, me too. No conflict. ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Obvious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e56c9b/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Obvious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Obvious)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/4 "2011-11-08T00:49:17Z")
Sexual activity doesn’t (and in my opinion shouldn’t) end just due to orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/5 "2011-11-08T00:50:42Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > No, I can have another right after. And another and another. No problem. > [@Lissla\_Lissar](#): > > Yup, me too. No conflict. Let me guess: you don’t suffer from an X-chromosome deficiency like some of us here. Nevertheless, even for us XY-chromosome types, we can have another orgasm in a few hous, or a day or so, so there’s not a conflict that I see. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/6 "2011-11-08T01:00:41Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > Nevertheless, even for us XY-chromosome types, we can have another orgasm in a few hous, or a day or so… A few hours??? A day to recover?!? Holy cow, my sympathies… ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/7 "2011-11-08T01:46:55Z")
> [@MovieMogul](#): > > A few hours??? A day to recover?!? Holy cow, my sympathies… I’m getting older. I recovered faster when I was young. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/8 "2011-11-08T02:18:55Z")
For me, the sexual activity is much more pleasurable than the orgasm (I’m male, btw, for what it’s worth), which has always just been one big, sticky anticlimax for me. Therefore, I am liable to delay the point of my own orgasm basically indefinitely, usually to the immense annoyance of the female partner (at least going by the repeated impatient outbursts of “dammit, will you finish already?”) who by this point is usually more than ready to wash up and go watch the Simpsons. Also, ending the sexual act without reaching orgasm doesn’t bother me, in fact I usually prefer it, which also seems to annoy women to no end, for some reason. It seems like I’m the only man on the planet who feels this way. Edit - this goes only for my own orgasms. Watching a lady that I’m with have one is awesome. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/9 "2011-11-08T02:38:31Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > For me, the sexual activity is much more pleasurable than the orgasm (I’m male, btw, for what it’s worth), which has always just been one big, sticky anticlimax for me. Therefore, I am liable to delay the point of my own orgasm basically indefinitely, usually to the immense annoyance of the female partner (at least going by the repeated impatient outbursts of “dammit, will you finish already?”) who by this point is usually more than ready to wash up and go watch the Simpsons. Also, ending the sexual act without reaching orgasm doesn’t bother me, in fact I usually prefer it, which also seems to annoy women to no end, for some reason. > > It seems like I’m the only man on the planet who feels this way. > > Edit - this goes only for my own orgasms. Watching a lady that I’m with have one is awesome. My husband is like you, especially if he’s been drinking a lot. But you know that pleasure you get watching your lady friend finish…well, we like that too. That’s partly why your women are annoyed at your lack of orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/10 "2011-11-08T08:17:32Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > Let me guess: you don’t suffer from an X-chromosome deficiency like some of us here. Nevertheless, even for us XY-chromosome types, we can have another orgasm in a few hous, or a day or so, so there’s not a conflict that I see. Yeah, but don’t those hours feel worse than if you’d just stayed aroused? I definitely feel what the OP is saying. I wouldn’t call orgasm an anticlimax, but it is brief. It’s far more fun to keep the arousal lasting as long as possible. Or at least, until the desire to climax overrides the pleasure. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/11 "2011-11-08T10:17:38Z")
or until your balls turn blue from all the excitement. ---
**Author:** ![Norse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/12 "2011-11-08T11:28:14Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > For me, the sexual activity is much more pleasurable than the orgasm (I’m male, btw, for what it’s worth), which has always just been one big, sticky anticlimax for me. Therefore, I am liable to delay the point of my own orgasm basically indefinitely, usually to the immense annoyance of the female partner (at least going by the repeated impatient outbursts of “dammit, will you finish already?”) who by this point is usually more than ready to wash up and go watch the Simpsons. Also, ending the sexual act without reaching orgasm doesn’t bother me, in fact I usually prefer it, which also seems to annoy women to no end, for some reason. > > It seems like I’m the only man on the planet who feels this way. You’re not. Another XY who prefers the activity over the climax. I’d love to be able to go on indefinitely (and am sometimes able to, much to the consternation of **my** partner as well). It took my wife a few years to grok that I sometimes could be just as happy with sex without coming as she could be (she comes around 50% of the time and claims it’s just as good, only different, without the final orgasm). Delaying climax at will is usually beyond my capabilities, though. ETA: > [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > you know that pleasure you get watching your lady friend finish…well, we like that too. That’s partly why your women are annoyed at your lack of orgasm. That’s in fact one of the main attractions of not coming for me: I really enjoy her orgasm. Which I can’t experience as strongly if I’m busy coming myself. And she’s really not into oral or manual stimulation to reach climax if I come first, so the best option for experiencing her orgasm is by not coming myself (or at least a few seconds after her, which sometimes happens, too) ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/13 "2011-11-08T11:41:04Z")
Orgasms intellectual? I don’t think I think that hard. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/14 "2011-11-08T15:42:33Z")
> [@Norse](#): > > You’re not. Another XY who prefers the activity over the climax. Me too. Not that I think about it too much, but the usual tactic is to try for simultaneity. If it starts creeping up for me and it doesn’t seem she’s close, change up or do whatever it takes to back off. Do the best to hang on through her first if that seems practical - aim for ringing the bell together. Not really much in the way of a quandary, there - it’s sort of like a carousel, you just keep going up and down, and occasionally, “Oh, here comes the brass ring - will I grab it this time? Oh, maybe once more around.” ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2011, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-orgasm-present-an-intellectual-conflict/602227/15 "2011-11-09T06:19:41Z")
No conflict here. I like someone who can hold out for a while, I can, and do, because the play and exploration before the climax can be so sweet. As others have said, the pleasure of watching your lover get there is amazing and being watched as you work up to a climax is incredibly sexy, too. As we all know, there are orgasms and then there are\*\*\*\*[SIZE=“4”] ORGASMS\*\*[/SIZE]\*\*!! Even when I don’t experience those spectacular ones, I am not disappointed because getting there is often more than half the fun. 😃