# Does Ronald McDonald have magic powers? Could his magic powers defeat Harry Potters? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 3, 2004, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301 "2004-10-03T07:15:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/1 "2004-10-03T07:15:29Z")
Well _does he?_ Does he have magic powers he can call on at will like a big witch, or does he just exist in a magical land where magical things just “happen”. Could Ronald McDonald’s magic powers defeat Harry Potters? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/2 "2004-10-03T07:34:12Z")
Yes, Ronald can conjure up an endless supply of mouth-watering hamburgers, which Harry will then eat in a frenzied orgy of American dining, then keel over from the ensuing cardiac arrest. Alternately, Ronald can conjure up a metric-ass-ton of hamburgers to drop on Harry’s head, instantly killing him in an avalanche of greasy food. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/3 "2004-10-03T09:03:39Z")
Ronald also has the ability to reproduce himself and appear simultaneously in distant locations. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/4 "2004-10-03T14:46:30Z")
The real question is whether the Dementors would be a match against the wily Hamburgler. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/5 "2004-10-03T17:05:41Z")
Ah, but the real arch-mage of the fast food industry was Burger King! > [@](#): > > I’m the marvelous magical Burger King > I can do most any thing > Watch me now as I twist my ring… ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/6 "2004-10-03T17:14:21Z")
Don’t forget Ron McD. can draw the golden arches in the air with a wave of his gloved fingers. This makes him a literal “Arch-Mage” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/7 "2004-10-03T17:16:00Z")
> [@](#): > > The real question is whether the Dementors would be a match against the wily Hamburgler. Hamburgler is iffy, but Grimmace would be a match for any Dementor. Remember, Grimmace is the milkshake guy, which would logically mean that he has an unlimited supply of chocolate. But yes, Ronald has controllable magic. At the very least, he routinely draws the Arches in the air, and I believe I’ve seen him do things like stepping into a picture frame to enter the pictured scene. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/8 "2004-10-03T17:20:55Z")
The marvelous, magical Burger King did in fact have supernatural powers, but they were largely limited to sleight of hand tricks that any decent magician could perform. Ronald McDonald has often performed supernatural stunts, but usually of the “sight gag” nature, of the sort of thing clowns often do. Both corporate mascots repeatedly demonstrated the ability to teleport themselves (and a small number of children) to a location containing one of their respective franchise restaurants, as well as the ability to FIND said restaurant, regardless of circumstance. In short, if Ronald or Burger King happened to be on the Moon, say, or in the depths of the Amazon Jungle, they would both either be able to zero in on and find a nearby restaurant belonging to their corporate masters, or be able to teleport TO said restaurant. Admittedly, it ain’t apocalyptic, or anything, but it sure beats pulling coins out of your ears. Both mascots are relentlessly benign, however; it’s unlikely Ronald would ever find any reason to confront Harry Potter, although a happy meal deal wouldn’t be out of the question, especially with the release of the next Potter movie. A Dementor would, of course, rip Ronald’s fluffy red-coiffed head off and gleefully stuff it down his gory throat-hole, naturally, unless Ronald had sufficient time to activate his \*Teleport Without Error To Nearest McDonalds Location \* ability. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/9 "2004-10-03T17:21:36Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > Ah, but the real arch-mage of the fast food industry was Burger King! " I’m the marvelous magical Burger King > I can do most any thing > Watch me now as I twist my ring…" I hear that to the tune of the Gabbo show on the Simpsons. So, could he do the hully-gully and imitiate Ben Scully? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/10 "2004-10-03T17:30:55Z")
Well, at least Ronald McDonald doesn’t show up [next to you in bed](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=278865&highlight=burger+king) like some kind of horrible morning-after experience… ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/11 "2004-10-03T17:47:17Z")
Ronald can conjure up loathing and repulsion as if by magic. While Harry can only manage mild disinterest. (At least in this test subject.) Ronald McDonald is therefore more powerful and, unlike the fuss kicked up about Harry Potter, almost certainly in league with satan. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/12 "2004-10-03T23:29:57Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Could Ronald McDonald’s magic powers defeat Harry Potters? I suppose that would depend on how many Harry Potters we are discussing here. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/13 "2004-10-03T23:37:35Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Hamburgler is iffy, but Grimmace would be a match for any Dementor. Remember, Grimmace is the milkshake guy, which would logically mean that he has an unlimited supply of chocolate. > > But yes, Ronald has controllable magic. At the very least, he routinely draws the Arches in the air, and I believe I’ve seen him do things like stepping into a picture frame to enter the pictured scene. I am so happy that we have an esteemed member of the SDSAB available to answer Life’s True Tough Questions. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/14 "2004-10-03T23:40:12Z")
I would think that tit for tat in effectiveness, Mayor McCheese and Cornelius Fudge would be about the same level of incompetance. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/15 "2004-10-03T23:42:27Z")
> [@NoPretentiousCodename](#): > > Don’t forget Ron McD. can draw the golden arches in the air with a wave of his gloved fingers. This makes him a literal “Arch-Mage” 😃 I would go along with Ronald having the ability to clog arteries to defeat his foes. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/16 "2004-10-03T23:50:48Z")
[QUOTE=rjung] Yes, Ronald can conjure up an endless supply of mouth-watering hamburgers, which Harry will then eat in a frenzied orgy of American dining, then keel over from the ensuing cardiac arrest. [QUOTE] Harry could perform the _Removus Carbohydratus_ spell to allow him to eat only the protein of the attack. This is known as the \*\* Atkin’s Defense.\*\* It is in _Defending Yourself Against a 7 Course Meal Attack: The Culinary Ambush by Trey Buchet, Wizard Third Class._ ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/17 "2004-10-04T00:30:26Z")
Don’t forget: Nothing can kill the Grimace! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/18 "2004-10-04T01:06:30Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > Don’t forget: Nothing can kill the Grimace! Grimance hasn’t been seen in quite sometime. I think his agent told him to get a younger, hipper look and he did some plastic surgery, changed his name and became _Barney_. \*I loved you. You kicked me to the door I got my face done and now Bill Gates is my whore With a knick-knack paddy whack… \* ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/19 "2004-10-04T07:30:14Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > Ah, but the real arch-mage of the fast food industry was Burger King! > > Quote: > I’m the marvelous magical Burger King > I can do most any thing > Watch me now as I twist my ring… He _said_ he could do most anything, but IIRC, the only thing that happened when he twisted his ring was “Like magic we’re at Burger King”. I suppose one could use that to escape ones enemies, except they’d know you were are Burger King, and could hunt you down. OTOH, Ronald could make food appear by snapping his fingers, couldn’t he? Maybe he could make _other_ things appear, like weapons. Anyway, they’d both kick butt over the Jack In the Box characters. I don’t think they had any powers at all. The Onion Ring Thing was just a man shaped like onion rings as far as I can remember. The only thing the Secret Agent could do was espionage. The French Fry Guy was just a kid who liked french fries and had new tennis shoes. And The Shakes had musical talent, but that was about it. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/20 "2004-10-04T07:34:38Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > A Dementor would, of course, rip Ronald’s fluffy red-coiffed head off and gleefully stuff it down his gory throat-hole, naturally, unless Ronald had sufficient time to activate his \*Teleport Without Error To Nearest McDonalds Location \* ability. Unless they attack him _in the McDonalds_, in which case he’s basically fucked. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301.md?page=2)