# Does Ronald McDonald have magic powers? Could his magic powers defeat Harry Potters? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 3, 2004, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301 "2004-10-03T07:15:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2004, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/21 "2004-10-04T11:10:11Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Unless they attack him _in the McDonalds_, in which case he’s **basically fucked.** **Basically Fucked** would be an excellent User Name _Basically F\*\*cked_, Band Name or Album Title. It is so versatile. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/22 "2004-10-11T17:03:43Z")
What would be more frightening? You are in your dormitory room at Hogwarts, (Ravenclaw in my case) it is a cold wintery night and you have draw the bed curtains to try and keep warm in the drafty castle. Your roommates are asleep and then you hear a sound in your room. It gets closer and closer to your bed. The bed curtains pull back and the pale moonlight reveals… A dark robed dementor? The death with face of Ronald McDonald? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/23 "2004-10-11T17:05:14Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Could Ronald McDonald’s magic powers defeat Harry Potters? Surely this question belongs in Great Debates 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/24 "2004-10-11T17:17:32Z")
I can’t believe I’m reading this. Or that I’m about to type this: Potter, if he’s prepared. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/25 "2004-10-11T17:49:15Z")
You forget - Harry’s girlfriend is a HOTTIE! Ronald doesn’t even have a girlfriend. Harry wins by default. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/26 "2004-10-11T17:50:18Z")
> [@](#): > > I would think that tit for tat in effectiveness, Mayor McCheese and Cornelius Fudge would be about the same level of incompetance. Hey, now. McDonald land is a virtual utopia except for the Hamburglar, who Mayor McCheese probably sees as too small of a threat to do anything about. If Voldemort was quickly regaining powers in McDonaldland, you _know_ Mayor McCheese would have a special forces team of Fry Kids all over his ass in about five seconds. I really, really want some McDonalds now. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/27 "2004-10-12T11:37:13Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > You forget - Harry’s girlfriend is a HOTTIE! Ronald doesn’t even have a girlfriend. > > Harry wins by default. 😃 The underlying question here is: Is Ronald McDonald Gay? not that there is anything wrong with it? ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/28 "2004-10-12T12:47:14Z")
Feh. From what I’ve seen, Ronald’s powers are entirely limited to illusions – the ability to draw arches in the air, and make lumps of sugar and grease momentarily appear as food. But even here Harry can match him. After all, the place where illusion counts most is in marketing, and I think the Potter franchise has give McCarcinogens a run for their money in merchandising. And besides, one blast of _Expecto Patronum_ who have the clown running, like any of creature of pure, distilled evil 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/29 "2004-10-12T12:49:37Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > The underlying question here is: Is Ronald McDonald Gay? not that there is anything wrong with it? Oh no you don’t. You’re not casting him off on us. You keep him. Besides, any guy who wears a baggy yellow body suit and bright red shoes is _not_ gay. Case closed. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/30 "2004-10-12T13:20:35Z")
You’re all acting as though Harry Potter is some sort of bozo. Clearly, that’s not the case here. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/31 "2004-10-12T13:30:09Z")
> [@Hamish](#): > > Oh no you don’t. You’re not casting him off on us. You keep him. > > Besides, any guy who wears a baggy yellow body suit and bright red shoes is _not_ gay. Case closed. Maybe he is just the one token gay guy that cannot accessorize and look _fabulous._ Maybe, just maybe, Ronald McDonald rode the short bus to Gay School. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/32 "2004-10-12T17:32:18Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > I hear that to the tune of the Gabbo show on the Simpsons. So, could he do the hully-gully and imitiate Ben Scully? Nit-picky semi-hijack alert: Vin. [Vin Scully.](http://www.radiohof.org/sportscasters/vinscully.html) Nit-picky semi-hijack alert ends. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2004, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/33 "2004-10-12T23:48:44Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > A Dementor would, of course, rip Ronald’s fluffy red-coiffed head off and gleefully stuff it down his gory throat-hole, I take issue with this. Surely the dementor would merely suck out all of Ronald’s special sauce. leaving a dead-eyed, slack-jawed japester no longer fit for anything but work as a hole-in-one attraction at a mini golf course. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/34 "2004-10-13T00:48:18Z")
> [@Hamish](#): > > Feh. From what I’ve seen, Ronald’s powers are entirely limited to illusions – the ability to draw arches in the air, and make lumps of sugar and grease momentarily appear as food. Ah, but you forget: During the short-lived era of the live-action “I’m the marvelous magical Burger King”, the McDonalds ad execs retaliated by giving Ronald some **real** magic powers. For instance, he could snap his fingers and disappear, in a cinematic wipe reminiscent of the little dollops of whipped butter they put on top of the McDonald’s Breakfast Hot Cakes. I think he could even snap his fingers and cause a prison cage to appear around the Hamburglar, but don’t quote me on that. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/35 "2004-10-13T00:52:13Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > The underlying question here is: Is Ronald McDonald Gay? not that there is anything wrong with it? Ronald is neither gay nor straight, nor anything in between. He’s obviously a burgerphile. His only source of sexual arousal is eating wafer-thin meat pucks surrounded by two disks of cheap breadstuffs. Except on his kinkier days where he feels up to having a “Big” Mac (which, by the way, uses exactly the same wafer-thin meat pucks that grace their “hamburgers”). Have you ever seen Ronald eat a Quarter Pounder? With or without cheese? I rest my case. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/36 "2004-10-13T06:23:34Z")
> [@shy guy](#): > > I really, really want some McDonalds now. Tell me about it. I just jogged 2.7 miles from my home – and back – to fetch a plain double quarter pounder with cheese. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/37 "2004-10-13T06:26:58Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > He’s obviously a burgerphile. Insert your own “special sauce” joke here. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/38 "2004-10-13T06:42:44Z")
So, does Ronald prefer vanilla shakes, or … chocolate shakes? \ ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/39 "2004-10-13T14:44:48Z")
Harry Potter is a child. Children are the demographic most targetted by McDonald’s advertising. Ronald McDonald is just the visible incarnation of that vast, powerful, successful campaign. Harry Potter would never strike a single blow nor even utter a syllable of any spell. Instead, he would be subject to irresistable desire to purchase, or have somebody older purchase for him, McHappy Meals, McSundaes, McIce Cream Cones, and McCookies. He’d be in the throes of lust to play on the McPlay Area and roughhouse in the McBall Pit. The only resistance he would display would be to Dumbledore (or other designated adult) trying to remove him from the beloved confines of the McDonald’s McPlay Area. The one factor that might vary would be how long it took Ronald’s McMagic to act on him. The cooler the McToy is in the McHappy Meal, the more quickly Potter falls victim to the irresistable might of McCorporate advertising. ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/40 "2004-10-13T14:49:23Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Harry Potter would never strike a single blow nor even utter a syllable of any spell. Instead, he would be subject to irresistable desire to purchase, or have somebody older purchase for him, McHappy Meals, McSundaes, McIce Cream Cones, and McCookies. So what you’re saying is that Ronald MacDonald is like a specialized form of Dementor? That instead of inspiring misery by his mere presence, he inspires empty consumption? What drives of a Consumption-Dementor? Greenpeace pamphlets? Healthy food? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301.md?page=3)