# Does Ronald McDonald have magic powers? Could his magic powers defeat Harry Potters? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 3, 2004, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301 "2004-10-03T07:15:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/41 "2004-10-13T15:38:40Z")
I think Hamish is on the right track here – can Harry summon a homemade oatmeal-raisin cookie to fight off the McMagic? (Given that he seems unable to resist EveryFlavorBeans, I’m not sure) But I did like thinking about the more physical confrontation: given that Ronald has the ability to reproduce himself and appear in many locations at once, I was envisioning a Matrix-like scene with, instead of Neo, little Harry Potter, and instead of fifty Agent Smiths, fifty identical red-wigged clowns pouring into the melee. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/42 "2004-10-13T17:18:41Z")
Well, I don’t know what a dementor is, but I do know this: The eldritch evil that spawned the McDonalds avatar _knows what kids like._ ---
**Author:** ![Scarface\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Scarface\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarface_Z)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/43 "2004-10-13T20:52:52Z")
think about it, have you ever actually seen Ronald McDonald eat anything from McDonald’s? no, he’s always convincing other people to eat the crap. underlying point, Ronald knows the food is shit and will avoid it at all costs lest he lose his clownish figure and be replaced (also eating messes up the makeup). so if Ronald should happen to conjure hamburgers en masse all Potter would have to do is challenge him to an eating contest. putting aside the fact that harry is now a teenager with surely a faster metabolism than the older Ronald, Potter would inevitably win with his ability to tolerate poor quality foods for extended lengths of time (he lives in England after all, kidney pie, need i say more?). however, the idea about replacing Ronald brings up an interesting point. Ronald is an icon. if destroyed by Harry potter, the McDonald corporation would simply replace the dead clown with some idiot willing to try his luck (probably a minority). in that sense, Ronald is an ideal that can never be defeated as long as there are size 30 red shoes and plenty of dead animals to make make-up from. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/44 "2004-10-13T22:51:07Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Well, I don’t know what a dementor is, but I do know this: The eldritch evil that spawned the McDonalds avatar _knows what kids like._ Dementors are purely evil cloaked horrors that feed off a person’s good memories and will to live, leaving them clinically depressed and suicidal. When a Dementor gets the chance, it rips out a person’s soul, leaving them an empty shell. I’m sure you’ll agree, the resemblance to Ronald MacDonald is uncanny. Still, as supernatural explanations for fast-food go, I prefer Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s explanation in _Good Omens_: all diet, exercise, and fast-food empires are secretly owned by Famine (as in Plague, War, Famine, and Death from Revelations), part of a subtle plot to starve the world. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/45 "2004-10-13T23:18:02Z")
> [@Scarface Z](#): > > think about it, have you ever actually seen Ronald McDonald eat anything from McDonald’s? I have a vivid memory of a McDonald’s ad from my youth where the Dread Hamburger Clown sucks on a straw in a McDonald’s cup (I believe containing a shake). So he might not **eat** anything from McDonald’s, but he sure **drinks** at least some things from there. ---
**Author:** ![Scarface\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Scarface\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarface_Z)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/46 "2004-10-14T00:15:10Z")
still, unless the cup was clear (unlikely as paper cups are cheaper) what was supposedly a shake may have been nothing of the sorts. furthermore, potter still wins in an “eating” contest. i also hasten to point out that a shake was chosen as a straw poses the least threat to ronalds make-up. a follow-up: all harry would have to do is conjure a spray of water (or get a friggin hose) and wash off Ronald’s make-up. without the make-up, Ronald ceases to be, and all magical powers are hence stripped of his being. once removed of his magic Ronald (we’ll continue to call him thus for ease) will no longer be immune to the fattening qualities of his food and the guilt of killing hundreds of thousands with heart disease. thus his soul, unable to process such grief in one sitting, will implode upon itself, at the same time that his body begins to swell with a lifetimes worth of fat absorbed in an osmosis-like process inherent to working for McDonalds (for as recent court hearing proclaim, it can’t be the food that make you fat). but he shall not mearely suffer the humiliation of stretch marks from his recently gained girth, rather he shall continue to expand exponentially until the tensile strength of his skin, flesh, and sinew is reached and he explodes. then the children will thank harry potter for setting them free and will dine sumptuously upon the many candies and delicious sweets raining down from the heavens that is inherent to the destruction of Ronald McDonald. so really it’s not that Harry Potter can kill Ronald McDonald, he must kill him…for the children. thank you 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/47 "2004-10-14T15:13:18Z")
> [@](#): > > all harry would have to do is conjure a spray of water (or get a friggin hose) and wash off Ronald’s make-up. That would be a notably useless thing to do. First, the McAvatar most likely isn’t wearing make-up. When it took on McFlesh, it made its body in those colors. Even if it were wearing make-up like an actual clown, water wouldn’t have any effect. Clowns wear greasepaint make-up. It has to be removed with coldcream or other oil-based cleaner. Potter’s pathetic water spray would just bead up and roll off, either way. Then, Ronald would lure Harry into the McBall Pit and… ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/48 "2004-10-14T20:10:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Even if it were wearing make-up like an actual clown, water wouldn’t have any effect. Clowns wear greasepaint make-up. It has to be removed with coldcream or other oil-based cleaner. Oh, like he’d have a hard time finding a source of grease. ---
**Author:** ![Hamish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a5b964/32.png) [@Hamish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamish)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/49 "2004-10-15T00:27:04Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Oh, like he’d have a hard time finding a source of grease. You know, that just made me realise that Harry wouldn’t even have to reach for a powerful spell to kill Ronald. He would simply have to cast _scourgify_, the cleaning spell – it cuts grease,so it would likely exsanguinate the clown. Either that, or _accio health inspector_. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2004, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301/50 "2004-10-17T14:15:20Z")
More wishful thinking. Read what I wrote, not what you wanted to see. > [@](#): > > the McAvatar most likely isn’t wearing make-up. When it took on McFlesh, it made its body in those colors. Even if it were wearing make-up like an actual clown, water wouldn’t have any effect. Note that I referred to the make-up in the subjunctive tense. Nor did I anywhere state that the McAvatar is made of grease. It is McConsumerism made red, white, and yellow McFlesh. That McFlesh likely has more in common with the high-density, non-biodegradeable polymers used in the construction of the McGolden Arches themselves than it does with anything as fragile as you fondly envision. The McAvatar is indestructable and irresistable, and only the McInc. itself can unmake it. Potter might hope to be a gobblin’ in McDonald Land after he is subsumed, nothing more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-ronald-mcdonald-have-magic-powers-could-his-magic-powers-defeat-harry-potters/267301.md?page=2)