# Does "sir" have the same age connotations as "ma'am"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 16, 2012, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172 "2012-12-16T09:22:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/1 "2012-12-16T09:22:11Z")
Just wondering, since I was called that by a random person (not an employee) at a store I was at this evening (I think she was younger than me, though I’m terrible at guesstimating this kind of thing), and it called to mind the Will and Grace bit where Grace was weeping over being called “ma’am” by a Gen Y’er. And because I hate to think about me being old and looking my age. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/2 "2012-12-16T10:24:35Z")
Well, in the _South_, we call everybody born one second before us “Sir” and “Ma’am.” We also use it for anybody in authority, like if you’re 60 years old and go to the bank and the teller is 20? You say Sir (or Ma’am.) I’ve lately grown into “Miss.” Which means I’m decrepit now. Seriously, every place I frequent they call me Miss Becky. I kind of like it. It means I can fart and they pretend not to hear it. (I like to play with their minds.) ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/3 "2012-12-16T10:57:57Z")
I only wish someone would just once call me “sir” without appending, “you’re making a scene.” ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/4 "2012-12-16T12:47:05Z")
Anecdotal, but…when you’re 18, manning a checkout counter in your first job, and a little kid half your size finishes his transaction with a “thank you, sir!”? Yeah. Yeah, it does. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/5 "2012-12-16T12:52:46Z")
I’d never considered either word to have age implications. I use the terms when situationally appropriate, or when I feel like saying “Yessirree Bob!” or something. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/6 "2012-12-16T12:56:17Z")
> [@Becky2844](#): > > I’ve lately grown into “Miss.” Which means I’m decrepit now. Seriously, every place I frequent they call me Miss Becky. I kind of like it. It means I can fart and they pretend not to hear it. Heh. It’s funny because it’s true… ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/7 "2012-12-16T14:54:11Z")
I don’t think “sir” has the same age implications as “ma’am”. It may be different in other places, but around here , if a person is trying to get a man’s attention, they’ll say “Sir, did you drop that?” as long as the man is older than a teenager. Until I was about 40, I got “Miss, did you drop that?” and then it started changing to “ma’am”. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/8 "2012-12-16T15:41:39Z")
Professionally I use sir or ma’am with any adult. Many are younger than me. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/9 "2012-12-16T19:07:11Z")
Perfect timing for this question. I deal with lots of students, all day, at the college where I work. Last week I had a new student, with a Southern accent, come in and he called me Sir about 10 times in a short conversation and it kind of freaked me out. I felt like I should be holding a ruler and slapping his hand whenever he made a grammatical error or something. Sorry, but even as an old fart, I don’t really want anybody calling me Sir unless I ever get Queen Elizabeth to whack me on the shoulders with her magic wand first. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/10 "2012-12-16T19:14:22Z")
What exactly is the connotation of “ma’am”? ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/11 "2012-12-16T20:52:18Z")
I use “sir” or “ma’am” for adults or for teenagers who are in “adult mode,” like if they are at work. As far as the age connotations, I think they are the same, but women seem more likely to think that being older is a bad thing. Personally, I am just annoyed by people who call older people “young man” or “young lady.” _That_ tells me that you think my age is something to be ashamed of. ---
**Author:** ![Atakapa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@Atakapa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atakapa)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/12 "2012-12-16T21:33:36Z")
“Sir” and “Ma’am” are just common courtesies and show respect. Never understood the folks who have their feathers ruffled by simple ettiquite. “Miss” can have a slightly insulting connotation depending on the circumstances, as it is most commonly used to address very, very young females. ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_Lenore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@Silence\_Lenore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_Lenore)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/13 "2012-12-16T21:58:15Z")
Ma’am is suppose to be a respectful way to address a grown woman that you do not know. As in: Excuse me Ma’am, … Rather than: Hey lady, … But nowadays it’s taken as an insult by many women who think it is the same thing as being called old, which has lead to the very odd and condescending habit of calling women in their 40’s, 50’s and beyond Miss, or even worse, Young Lady. I had a deli guy in his 30’s call me Young Lady once - I said I have children your age, so I am hardly a young lady. ---
**Author:** ![JKilez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@JKilez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKilez)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/14 "2012-12-17T03:30:42Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > I don’t think “sir” has the same age implications as “ma’am”. It may be different in other places, but around here , if a person is trying to get a man’s attention, they’ll say “Sir, did you drop that?” as long as the man is older than a teenager. Until I was about 40, I got “Miss, did you drop that?” and then it started changing to “ma’am”. Is this not the heart of the question? It is not as though men are called “dude” until a certain age and then referred to as “sir”. The respectful address for men is always “sir”, but for women there is a choice between “miss” and “ma’am” depending on age. I believe that men who are uncomfortable with “sir” would also be uncomfortable being referred to as “Mr. so and so”. The honorific seems foreign and possibly unwarranted when you are young, but only because it is new. ---
**Author:** ![nion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nion)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-sir-have-the-same-age-connotations-as-maam/644172/15 "2012-12-17T05:07:17Z")
Yes, yes it does. I held the door at the bank for an attractive young woman a couple weeks back. She said “Oh, thank you, sir!” You could practically hear the farting balloon sound as I deflated. I absolutely agree that the whole sir/ma’am thing comes down to politeness, but still… I wish there were better words for us younger folk.