# Does somebody who has seven or more drinks at least three days per week have a drinking problem? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 9, 2009, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572 "2009-12-09T08:59:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/41 "2009-12-09T17:07:12Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > Why do you care if he has a drinking problem, if you have already decided his drinking is a problem for you, and you plan on ending your friendship over it? I guess it’s not a worthwhile question to ask whether this person has a drinking problem. And I only _probably_ will cease talking to him. He didn’t always drink this much. > [@](#): > > Not to beat a dead horse here, but mind your own business. I’m clearly being nosy by asking this sort of question in an online forum without mentioning his name or suggesting that I’m going to do something to prevent him from living his preferred lifestyle. > [@](#): > > You’ve implied that none of your other friends have an issue with it. That right there is my biggest clue. I don’t know the guy, none of us do, but if the majority if the people who DO know him think he’s ok, he most likely is. False; most of _his_ friends think it is okay. His group of friends, over the past couple of years, has increasingly shifted towards those who binge drink and use large quantities of marajuana. One of them recently spent an hour trying to convince me to use marajuana. > [@](#): > > You have a lower tolerance for other people’s drinking, which is fine, and I said so in my first post. You have a right to feel comfortable, especially in your own home. But to take an issue that is yours, and attempt to turn it into his problem, I think that is over the line. No one here can say whether or not he has a problem with drinking; YOU have a problem with his drinking, and that is all that needs to be said about it. I guess you don’t understand the idea that certain levels of drinking and certain patterns of drinking (called _binge drinking_) can constitute a severe psychological and medical problem that can have both short-term and long-term consequences. Some standards are mostly arbitrary, like taste in music. Some are not totally arbitrary but contain a range of reasonable tastes, such as alcohol consumption. Some drink not at all. Some drink once daily. Some get a little hammered once in a while. Some people drink so much that they wake up with blood on their hands not knowing how they got there. It’s not unreasonable to ask whether this constitutes a medical problem. People who worry about whether their friends are harming themselves are not nosy, sorry. They’re called _friends_. If you’re the kind of person who doesn’t worry when one of his/her friends veers towards a self-destructive lifestyle, I have to wonder just what your image of friendship is. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/42 "2009-12-09T17:17:47Z")
I think **SecondJudith** well expressed my thoughts in post 9. And **Shakes** demonstrates that some people can certainly be productive, functioning heavy drinkers/alcoholics. It sounds as tho you and the drinker are relatively young - perhaps in college or in your 20s. IMO, the biggest problem with drinking as heavily as your friend does when young, is that it sets up patterns in which you are more likely to drink heavily through later stages of your life,rather than enjoying drinking socially and in moderation. And the older you get and the more responsibilities you take on, the easier it is for heavy drinking to have unfavorable implications. Bottomline, tho, IMO how he leads his life is his choice (and yes, I consider drinking to be a choice in nearly all cases). You can offer your opinions and assistance, but cannot change him. If his drinking really bothers you, that the one thing you CAN do is cease to associate with him. _Not that it makes me an expert or anything, but I was what I consider a heavy drinker for a couple of decades - far exceeding the amount you describe, and have been sober for 5 years. Never lost a job, no current debt, married 25 years,3 kids in college, no legal problems or health problems yet evident._ ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/43 "2009-12-09T17:34:31Z")
I had this long snarky post all typed out, but I decided to delete it. You are worried about your friend, and something I said upset you. I never actually meant for it to, so I am sorry for that. You asked if having seven drinks three times a week means someone has a drinking problem. My answer, along with several others, is maybe. I am sorry your friend has changed and you two are growing apart.I hope he doesn’t have a problem after all, and everything turns out alright. I have a pet peeve about what I consider to be the over diagnoses of alcoholism in our country. I think it is silly and prudish, but I was wrong to take it out on you. Good luck with your friend. ---
**Author:** ![My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Darn_Snake_Legs)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/44 "2009-12-09T17:40:10Z")
Does he have a problem? Maybe. > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > … but the SDMB has an even more prudish attitude toward drinking than the rest of the nation. You’re posting on a SuperPrudeTeetotaller board. Geeze, when did this start? I used to go hang out with Dopers at Flying Saucer near Dallas, and we did our fair share of liver-damaging. Do people still have Dopefests? I haven’t seen any posts about them, and I’m not in Dallas any longer. > [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > I promise it isn;t a whole lot different than your average college student in the US. Seconded. 7 beers was pretty much a warm-up when I was in college in the US. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/45 "2009-12-09T17:57:58Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > I have a pet peeve about what I consider to be the over diagnoses of alcoholism in our country. I think it is silly and prudish, but I was wrong to take it out on you. Good luck with your friend. I’ve had a really different experience. A sister who almost killed herself with liver damage that took THREE YEARS to get a diagnosis of alcoholism. IME, its HARD to actually get a diagnosis of alcoholism…we are too quick to write off “social drinking” and “self medicating.” Its possible that lay people diagnosis alcoholism far too quickly, but it was seven doctors and hospitalization and two trips through REHAB (!?!) before someone actually pinned it on my sister - and that was the doctor that did the liver biopsy. ---
**Author:** ![Neverender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/848f3c/32.png) [@Neverender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neverender)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/46 "2009-12-09T18:00:40Z")
> [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](#): > > Seconded. 7 beers was pretty much a warm-up when I was in college in the US. Exactly. So I don’t see how it’s _that_ much of a problem. As said before, in this case it’s only a problem if he sees it as a problem. What’s the problem with the Mary Jane? Or is it the hassling that’s the problem? ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/47 "2009-12-09T18:20:52Z")
> [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](#): > > In the immortal words of that noted American scholar, Dr. Phil, “How’s that working for you?” > > If it’s working for you, fine. But many of us have experience with drinkers whose repeated attempts to do that kind of stuff fail, with predictable results. Also, who wants to volunteer for the tedious job of telling the drunk to stop being a dick? Uh, it’s working great, thanks? And what’s so tedious about saying “Hey, you’re acting like an arse, scale it back a bit”? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/48 "2009-12-09T18:24:53Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > I don’t think you can say someone has a drinking problem unless their drinking has become a problem. If he isn’t missing work, or destroying relationships, stuff like that, then it isn’t a problem.\ But it is destroying a relationship - **Bith** has said that he’s close to ending this friendship over it. How many other friends does Drinker have to lose before it qualifies for “destroying relationships”? Not all alcoholics are passed out in gutters, either - Bith could very well be describing a functioning alcoholic. I don’t know the stats on functioning alcoholics, but I suspect there are A LOT of them around. My personal opinion on what is described here - this sounds like a young person who may or may not have a problem with alcohol **yet** , but he’s heading down a dangerous path. Saying that college students and people in the UK drink shitloads of alcohol is sort of beside the point, too - I recall people from the UK posting here about how they can’t get away from the drinking culture - everyone wants to get drunk, all the time, and there is massive peer pressure about it (the same for college cultures). I’m not a teetotaller or a prude about alcohol, but it’s just such a damned slippery slope - most people can have a few drinks once in a while and have a great time, then there are the ones who can’t, and you don’t know which category you’re in until it’s too late. I’ll tell you my perspective, as someone in their 40’s who stopped drinking about a decade ago - people who think they’re a lot of fun drunk are kidding themselves. Most drunks are assholes and no fun to be around unless you’re also drunk. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/49 "2009-12-09T18:25:39Z")
> [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](#): > > Geeze, when did this start? I used to go hang out with Dopers at Flying Saucer near Dallas, and we did our fair share of liver-damaging. Do people still have Dopefests? I haven’t seen any posts about them, and I’m not in Dallas any longer. I don’t know. It seems like whenever drinking comes up, the booze-hating brigade chimes in. Maybe I’m just sensitive to it all considering my alcoholism and all. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/50 "2009-12-09T18:37:25Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Can he abstain from alcohol for about a month or so, without getting really really difficult to live with? If he can’t, he has a drinking problem. Bingo. For a good twelve years after I turned 21, I was going out any partying hard at least two-three nights each week – even more in the summer (woohoo for the Jersey Shore in its heyday). But beginning in my mid-20’s, November was dry month, just to make sure things weren’t getting out of hand. As long as I wasn’t flipping out at the prospect of not being able to drink, I was fine with my behavior the rest of the year. Now that I’m settled down, I’m about a six-pack-per-month drinker, and it’s not at all unusual for me to go six months without thinking about having a drink. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/51 "2009-12-09T18:50:20Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I can drink a 12pack and still be coherent. I don’t drive or anything but I can still carry on a conversation with out slurring my words. In fact, I doubt you would even know I was drunk unless you smelled it on me or made me do that “walk heel to toe” thing cops do to suspected drunk drivers. > > Having said all that: Do I think _I’m_ an alcoholic? Of course I do. I don’t however get too worried about it because the way I see it: > > The kids want for nothing. They get to wear whatever “cool” clothes that are in style these days etc… > > I’ve got a healthy 401k (All things considered with the economy being what it is.) > > I’ve been a top rated employee with my company for 17 years. (since I was hired to be precise) > > I would say I have a healthy social life but hell, all my friends are alcoholics too so I guess that doesn’t mean a whole lot. > > Anyway, I’m not sure if these are things to gauge your life by but that’s how I justify it in my head. > > Also, drinking is just fun to me. It’s not a chore. Which is something I’ve been told is an indicator of an addict. chinchin! I could have written your post. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/52 "2009-12-09T19:36:42Z")
> [@SecondJudith](#): > > Uh, it’s working great, thanks? And what’s so tedious about saying “Hey, you’re acting like an arse, scale it back a bit”? If it’s working great for you, then you’ve got your answer. But if I have to tell someone they’re acting like an arse more than once in a great while, that’s not working for me. Although telling people they are acting like jerks, and not accepting their drinking as an excuse, is something I can get behind. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Rosetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Green\_Rosetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Rosetta)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/53 "2009-12-10T01:07:13Z")
Like others have said, he doesn’t have a drinking problem unless he couldn’t cut back. I wondered for awhile if my best friend had a drinking problem, as he’s out a good five or six nights a week having six or so cocktails. But I’ve also seen him take a break from the drinking when he isn’t in the mood and can definitely have fun without alcohol. If he is still making it to work and functioning there, hasn’t had any run ins with the law, and his spouse or other very close figure doesn’t have a problem with his drinking, he’s probably okay. You don’t have to drink with him if it makes you uncomfortable, though. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/54 "2009-12-10T03:27:54Z")
You can’t put a number on it. However, if your drinking is leading to one of the following: -showing up late or missing work -waking up next to people you would not normally want to sleep with -blackouts -drunk driving -getting into fights (including fistfights) -getting into legal trouble -property damage (including your own) -relationship or marital problems …then yes, your drinking is starting to become a problem. I like drinking as much as the next guy, but normally I like to set certain limits. I really hate when people start ordering up rounds of shots (especially when I specifically say I don’t want one). I’m not looking to show up three hours late for work tomorrow with a raging hangover. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/55 "2009-12-10T03:43:39Z")
Nah. I don’t think lots of drinks is a problem unless you’re bad at being drunk and it’s affecting your life in other, negative ways. And I don’t think it’s a huge red flag if you can’t bear to give it up. Lots of people self medicate with various substances. Personal tolerance means a lot too. My parents liked to have drinks growing up. My dad can have two bottles of wine and hardly show it - I’ve never seen him intoxicated. I’ve seen my mom tipsy a hundred times from one glass of wine. Who has the ‘problem’? ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/56 "2009-12-10T03:45:32Z")
IMO, the definition of ‘alcoholism’ is absolutely ridiculous these days. 40 years ago even the kids were having a few martinis before dinner, and now if you have more than 3 drinks in a row it’s diagnosable as a medical problem? WTF. And I say that as someone who hasn’t been drunk in years and rarely has more than one drink every few months. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/57 "2009-12-10T05:12:28Z")
Send him to Ireland, we’ll just think he’s a Calvinist. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/58 "2009-12-10T07:57:19Z")
Blackouts are considered to be the hallmark of the alcoholic. Regular people don’t generally have blackouts. If he’s drinking enough to have had blackouts, he has a problem with alcohol. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/59 "2009-12-10T08:28:42Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Blackouts are considered to be the hallmark of the alcoholic. Regular people don’t generally have blackouts. If he’s drinking enough to have had blackouts, he has a problem with alcohol. I had my first blackout the first time I got properly drunk, aged 16. Instant alcoholic? Moreover, pretty much everyone I know in the UK - I’m talking about dozens of people here - has had the odd night where they go “I don’t remember the taxi home” or “oh shit, did I do _that_???” Are we all alcoholics, problem drinkers, or are we just people who occasionally drink to excess? ---
**Author:** ![Cullain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cullain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cullain)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572/60 "2009-12-10T08:47:56Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I had my first blackout the first time I got properly drunk, aged 16. Instant alcoholic? Moreover, pretty much everyone I know in the UK - I’m talking about dozens of people here - has had the odd night where they go “I don’t remember the taxi home” or “oh shit, did I do _that_???” Are we all alcoholics, problem drinkers, or are we just people who occasionally drink to excess? Well, not \*everyone \* in the UK is an alcoholic… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-somebody-who-has-seven-or-more-drinks-at-least-three-days-per-week-have-a-drinking-problem/520572.md?page=4)