# Does the Gov't really want to watch me...you know? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 27, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396 "2011-05-27T04:20:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![humanafterall](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/humanafterall/32/19654_2.png) [@humanafterall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/humanafterall)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/1 "2011-05-27T04:20:43Z")
I hear a lot about Gov’t surveillance, and how they can check your browsing history, and know what’s going on in your room and keep track of what you buy online and in stores, so here’s my hypothetical thing. I buy a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues, and my browsing history shows I’ve been to redtube several times. Does this mean that Obama likes to know whether or not I’m touching myself? It shows a rather perverse side of the government, one in which one is not permitted to pleasure oneself in the privacy of their own home. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/2 "2011-05-27T04:41:32Z")
You hear a lot of bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/3 "2011-05-27T04:44:10Z")
> [@](#): > > I hear a lot about Gov’t surveillance … You do? Where from, exactly? I’m going to guess Rant Radio, but feel free to explicate. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/4 "2011-05-27T05:22:19Z")
Ummm…okay. :dubious: [sub]Dude! Don’t let them know you know![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/5 "2011-05-27T06:00:08Z")
> [@humanafterall](#): > > It shows a rather perverse side of the government, one in which one is not permitted to pleasure oneself in the privacy of their own home. You’re perfectly free to. Janet Napolitano just likes to watch. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/6 "2011-05-27T06:00:47Z")
Well, you’re not really helping your case broadcasting your habits here, are you? ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/7 "2011-05-27T09:24:40Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > [sub]Dude! Don’t let them know you know![/sub] Ah, but do they know you know they now know you know they know ? Always mess with their minds. And wear a tinfoil penis sheath. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/8 "2011-05-27T15:30:36Z")
> [@humanafterall](#): > > I buy a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues, and my browsing history shows I’ve been to redtube several times. It shows a rather perverse side of the government, one in which one is not permitted to pleasure oneself in the privacy of their own home. Er, unless you know of a Wanker Surveillance Act either up for Congressional vote or already enacted, I don’t think you have all that much to worry about. Here’s the problem with hypotheticals: as with the OP, they often are so far distanced from any realistic scenario that they are completely pointless. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/9 "2011-05-27T15:41:11Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Er, unless you know of a Wanker Surveillance Act either up for Congressional vote or already enacted, I don’t think you have all that much to worry about. Congress is full of wankers. Such a bill would never get out of committee. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/10 "2011-05-27T15:52:51Z")
> [@humanafterall](#): > > I hear a lot about Gov’t surveillance, and how they can check your browsing history, and know what’s going on in your room and keep track of what you buy online and in stores, so here’s my hypothetical thing. I buy a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues, and my browsing history shows I’ve been to redtube several times. Does this mean that Obama likes to know whether or not I’m touching myself? It shows a rather perverse side of the government, one in which one is not permitted to pleasure oneself in the privacy of their own home. “Government”. Government is people, you know. Just like us. I even know some people that work for the government. Let’s think about this logically (I know, anathema). First of all, Obama doesn’t have time to look into you touching yourself, neither I would think does most of the Cabinet, or the VP, or most of the top staff. As to individual members of Congress, or the Senate, or maybe the millions of ordinary workers that get their living from the government in one way or another, why would they? First of all, if they are truly monitoring everyone’s browsing habits, that’s a shitload of people. Current population of the US is at over 300 million people. That’s a lot of “Abel Abelson is masturbating, Adam Adamson is not.” So that’s incredibly tedious for people to sit there and watch through all of them. Sure, there has got to be misabuses of power, but that’s like the human condition. No surprise there. Then, do you forget that these people have access to Redtube and all of those places, too? They don’t need to look at you for titillation, if that is what you are implying. They can go to their own porn sites, and look at hot people. And what are you implying, anyway? Even if OBAMA HIMSELF knows that I visited redtube yesterday, he most certainly doesn’t have a camera in my house. I don’t even have the webcam hooked up! So how does he know that I actually masturbated, and didn’t just go there to disapprove, or something? So now what we’ve got, at the most, is a list of the websites that all of the adult population looks at. So you now have to have a committee of people to go through the websites…for what purpose, exactly? What are they getting out of it? And if it comes out that they are spending taxpayer money on this shit, it would have come out already and we would have heard about it. I’m not saying governmental employees can’t be corrupt or stupid. I’m just pointing out that GOVERNMENT is not some autonomous collective where everyone moves in lockstep. People are people everywhere and I guarantee you if you had to look at people’s browsing history all day you’d be bored as all get-out. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/11 "2011-05-27T15:56:02Z")
School’s out. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/12 "2011-05-27T16:12:29Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > First of all, Obama doesn’t have time to look into you touching yourself You would think he’d _make_ time?! ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/13 "2011-05-27T16:22:04Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > “Government”. Government is people, you know. Just like us. Thank you for saying that. I’m so tired of hearing on the interwebz about “The Government” this and “the Government” that, as if the millions of Americans employed by Uncle Sam all work for the same goal, in the same office, 100% of the time. To these people, there are never competing opinions. There aren’t office politics. There aren’t conflicting policies. There aren’t territorial pissing contests. There aren’t employees fucking off on their lunch hour or faking sick. They forget that the mailman is “the government”. And the public school teacher. And the bus driver. Why, oh why, would these normal, everyday Americans give two shits about who’s jerking off and who isn’t?! ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/14 "2011-05-27T16:29:04Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#): > > School’s out. I think it is quite an assumption to think school was ever in (or if it was in, that it had any effect) for the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/15 "2011-05-27T16:34:02Z")
Knowing that Obama is watching me wank makes the orgasms twice as awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/16 "2011-05-27T16:40:09Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > They forget that the mailman is “the government”. And the public school teacher. And the bus driver. > > Why, oh why, would these normal, everyday Americans give two shits about who’s jerking off and who isn’t?! Dunno about the mailman, but bus drivers are pervs, man. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/17 "2011-05-27T16:45:21Z")
> [@humanafterall](#): > > I hear a lot about Gov’t surveillance, and how they can check your browsing history, and know what’s going on in your room and keep track of what you buy online and in stores, so here’s my hypothetical thing. I buy a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues, and my browsing history shows I’ve been to redtube several times. Does this mean that Obama likes to know whether or not I’m touching myself? It shows a rather perverse side of the government, one in which one is not permitted to pleasure oneself in the privacy of their own home. There is no “The Government”. There is some bored desk jockey at the surveillance controls. Still think it’s unlikely that the power will be used for perverse prying? ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/18 "2011-05-27T16:47:05Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] First of all, Obama doesn’t have time to look into you touching yourself, neither I would think does most of the Cabinet, or the VP, or most of the top staff. [/quote] Actually, that would explain Hillary Clinton’s shocked expression captured for all time on May 2. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/19 "2011-05-27T16:48:39Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Then, do you forget that these people have access to Redtube and all of those places, too? They don’t need to look at you for titillation, if that is what you are implying. They can go to their own porn sites, and look at hot people. Not at the office, they can’t. Most sizeable organizations put restrictions on recreational Web access (particularly porn sites or other material that would be embarrassing if some reporter heard about it on a slow news day). However, in the context of a government surveillance department, spying on individuals is “work-related” rather than “recreational” (at least, that’s how it looks to an automated filter). Ergo, they _do_ need to look at you for titillation, if that’s what they want to do. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396/20 "2011-05-27T18:10:27Z")
No one cares about your jacking off habits, the President in particular. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-govt-really-want-to-watch-me-you-know/583396.md?page=2)