# Does the idea of a thirty year old virgin athelete genuinely play well in America? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 11, 2012, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170 "2012-08-11T05:48:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![F14tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e4f/32.png) [@F14tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F14tomcat)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/61 "2012-08-11T21:44:24Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Athletes from Jack Johnson to Wilt Chamberlain to Tiger Woods have dedicated their lives to their sports and still found time to have plenty of sex. Being in well-known and in great shape makes it easier to get laid even if you devote lots of practice time to your sport. It is a multi-part answer…you can’t pick and choose the parts you want. That is what is called taking it out of context. Also, all the individuals you named were men. Not sure how much time you have spent around women, but when it comes to sex most of ladies are wired completely differently than the fellas. Hormones aside, most guys would be like, shucks I need to just knock this thing out…get this off my list so the guys will leave me alone about it. A woman is more than likely going to expect a build up to it and then be thinking about the long-term implications of it. Not to mention that she has waited this long and has put her virginity on a pedestal. The phrase, “Being single minded in the pursuit…” would also seem to apply for the case of her putting her sport first. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/62 "2012-08-11T21:49:56Z")
> [@F14tomcat](#): > > It is a multi-part answer…you can’t pick and choose the parts you want. That is what is called taking it out of context. I took nothing out of context. I was showing that part of your answer wasn’t relevant. She may be very picky and a pain in the ass as a person- I have no idea what she’s like (and I’m not sure you do either). But plenty of people have been very dedicated to their sport and still enjoyed a lot of sex, so I’m saying that shouldn’t be considered a factor. > [@](#): > > Not sure how much time you have spent around women, but when it comes to sex most of ladies are wired completely differently than the fellas. :rolleyes: We’re talking about a specific individual, so these generalizations aren’t relevant. ---
**Author:** ![F14tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e4f/32.png) [@F14tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F14tomcat)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/63 "2012-08-11T21:52:03Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > You can tell that? From what? From the media coverage? I think you give yourself too much credit. > I don’t know what a PINTA is. I have had the good fortune of experiencing many different people from many different places. I have also done my fair share of dating and all in all there are not that many different kinds of people. Let’s call it 31 flavors of personality. It is very rare to meet a truly unique person. PinTA = Pain in the Ass I am sure she is a wonderful person for those she likes, but it seems to me that she believes some of her own hype and has put her virginity on a pedestal. I mean it is just sex…it literally happens a billion times a day. ---
**Author:** ![F14tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e4f/32.png) [@F14tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F14tomcat)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/64 "2012-08-11T21:57:35Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > No, that’s a PITA. It was a typo of sorts…I meant to make the “in” lower case. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/65 "2012-08-11T22:10:52Z")
I wonder if she masturbates, though. Enquiring minds want to know. That’s at least as important as her virginity. ---
**Author:** ![F14tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e4f/32.png) [@F14tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F14tomcat)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/66 "2012-08-11T22:33:44Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I took nothing out of context. I was showing that part of your answer wasn’t relevant. She may be very picky and a pain in the ass as a person- I have no idea what she’s like (and I’m not sure you do either). But plenty of people have been very dedicated to their sport and still enjoyed a lot of sex, so I’m saying that shouldn’t be considered a factor. > > I am saying that her dedication to her sport may actually be the primary factor. Or a significant contributing factor. Have you ever been so enthralled or so focused you forgot to eat for an extended period. And you HAVE to eat…sex is a choice not a requirement to live. > > :rolleyes: We’re talking about a specific individual, so these generalizations aren’t relevant. Again, without being able to interview her directly about her true motivation and interview those of her life to get a real assessment of who she is, then we will have to count on some level of generalization. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/67 "2012-08-11T22:48:17Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > I wonder if she masturbates, though. Enquiring minds want to know. That’s at least as important as her virginity. And does she use the Bill Clinton definition of sex? That’s also important. I don’t know how many chicks I knew in high school that talked about virginity and saving herself for her husband, and Jesus didn’t approve of fornication, blah, blah, but would suck every guy they went out with. It made me scratch my head back then, but maybe this lady feels the same way? And if so, is she single? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2012, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/68 "2012-08-11T23:05:31Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > I don’t think the actual _being_ a virgin is odd, but making a big thing out of it, like it’s some amazing accomplishment, does strike me as something a bit weird. > > It’s like someone boasting that they’ve never eaten eggs in their life- I mean, it’s not doing any harm to eschew eggs, but it’s a bit bizarre to expect everyone to be impressed. And even more bizarre if anyone is. Very well put. I don’t care if an athlete is a virgin, gay, recovered crack addict, or mother of twelve. It’s irrelevant to the sport and the athlete’s skills, and I’m tired of the “backstory” being a bigger deal than the actual athletics. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/69 "2012-08-12T00:11:36Z")
> [@Ele\_the\_Stoic](#): > > Maybe I’m in the minority, but who cares if she’s a virgin? Is there some age past which being a virgin is abominable? The media crusades against children (~12+) losing their virginity and being sexualized, but when someone’s past, what, 25? it becomes a mark of shame. Like they “can’t” have sex, so there must be something wrong with them. > > You even say: > > As if this should somehow be **un** acceptable. Why? Who cares how old she is/was when she first has/had sex? > > This is what I don’t understand. When does virginity become a “psychological issue”? What if she was so focused on her school/training/sport that she didn’t have the time and energy to go out clubbing? What if she’s a closeted lesbian who hasn’t admitted her feelings to herself? What if she just honestly wants to wait for marriage, for non-religious, emotional reasons? There’s way too many variables involved in when people first have sex to just say “X years old, what the hell’s wrong with em?”. > I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’d sooner chalk this up to a media stunt or “technical” virginity than outright never-done-nothin-with-nobody virginity, but the notion that maintining virginity past a certain age is somehow “odd” or “wrong”, and thus unacceptable just doesn’t make sense to me. Just like how women are “sluts” after sleeping with X amount of guys. We can dance this around this all we want, but it _is_ odd, and it’s extremely odd for an attractive grown adult woman with a near perfect body to engage in this lifestyle. It’s her perfect right to do this, and not have people bother her about it, but let’s not get too precious about it. It’s damned unusual to behave this way if you have options. So sure, she could be a super faithful Christian, or be gay, or have a low sex drive, or be inter-sexed, or whatever, no one needs to judge her or get in her business, but let’s not pretend this is not at the way far end of the behavioral and lifestyle choices bell curve for attractive adult females. ---
**Author:** ![FuzzyOgre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@FuzzyOgre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuzzyOgre)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/70 "2012-08-12T01:04:36Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Har! This place doesn’t really count. It’s sort of a pocket of non-reality. Sometimes surreality. Blood, sex, tampon string management, electric blue 18 inch ribbed two-headed jelly dongs…everything goes. But its still not reddit, and reddit isnt even 4chan. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/71 "2012-08-12T01:08:03Z")
Virginity is worse if you’re not religious. It’s _way_ worse if you’re not a woman. ---
**Author:** ![FuzzyOgre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@FuzzyOgre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuzzyOgre)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/72 "2012-08-12T01:21:03Z")
If she is a virgin at 30, that is her business and nobody elses. If she brings it up unbidden in an interview where she is being quizzed on a good deal of other topics, it _somewhat_ suggests a preoccupation or an agenda. I mean, can you imagine interviewing for a job, and telling your prospective employer that? Further, you know that everyone in the company (and their extended families) are going to watch a tape of the interview. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/73 "2012-08-12T01:46:45Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > I do think it would be rare to be a 30-year-old virgin for reasons that don’t include psychological issues though. There are a number of medical conditions that can cause a lack of libido (although many of these would probably impair someone enough to prevent them from becoming an Olympic class athlete), as well as gynecological problems (e.g. [vulvar vestibulitis](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulvar_vestibulitis)) that can make vaginal penetration extremely painful. While the latter often would not be noticed until a young woman attempted to have intercourse for the first time, she might also experience enough pain when using tampons or undergoing a pelvic exam that she’d decide to avoid intercourse. While this sort of physical problem could lead to psychological issues, it’s not in and of itself abnormal to want to avoid pain. ---
**Author:** ![FuzzyOgre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@FuzzyOgre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuzzyOgre)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/74 "2012-08-12T01:46:52Z")
> [@md2000](#): > > I could not tell you what denomination the Prime Minister or former opposition leader of Canada professed; the only obvious ones are French Canadians are likely Catholic. I don’t know that any Canadian politician going to church was ever a news story. It was never an issue to raise in interviews because most have been Catholics. Non-catholic voters(as a whole) never made it an issue in the past either, and we crafted a society where people didnt polarize on the issue. But even here in the western provinces, most politicians election pamphlets(that I have seen) make little mention of the matter; its just not important in Canadian society, and considered slightly tacky to ask, somewhat imposing to offer. I’ve actually had the benefit of working with three politicians: a mayor, an alderman(who ran for mayor at least four times) and an alderman/mayor. I am also related to another former mayor. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/75 "2012-08-12T02:09:40Z")
Asserting one’s virginity to an international audience is TMI. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/76 "2012-08-12T02:41:53Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > There are a number of medical conditions that can cause a lack of libido (although many of these would probably impair someone enough to prevent them from becoming an Olympic class athlete), as well as gynecological problems (e.g. [vulvar vestibulitis](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulvar_vestibulitis)) that can make vaginal penetration extremely painful. While the latter often would not be noticed until a young woman attempted to have intercourse for the first time, she might also experience enough pain when using tampons or undergoing a pelvic exam that she’d decide to avoid intercourse. While this sort of physical problem could lead to psychological issues, it’s not in and of itself abnormal to want to avoid pain. Those are possibilities, but I doubt they’re usually the reason. And in the case of Lolo Jones, [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolo_Jones) says: > [@](#): > > In a 2012 segment on HBO’s Real Sports, Jones revealed that she is a virgin, dates online, and struggles to maintain her virginity.[24] She said “If there’s virgins out there, I’m going to let them know, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life—harder than training for the Olympics, harder than graduating from college, has been to stay a virgin before marriage.”[25][26] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/77 "2012-08-12T02:52:43Z")
What is the big deal ? There are plenty of men who would like to get laid, but can’t complete the process of getting a woman interested in copulating with them. And women have standards and emotional requirements that go way beyond any urges that their hormones produce. I know, and I’ve tried to get laid many times with many women only to suffer rejection way more times than not. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/78 "2012-08-12T03:27:00Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > What is the big deal ? There are plenty of men who would like to get laid, but can’t complete the process of getting a woman interested in copulating with them. > > And women have standards and emotional requirements that go way beyond any urges that their hormones produce. I know, and I’ve tried to get laid many times with many women only to suffer rejection way more times than not. If a man is attractive enough hormones will often win handily and all those “requirements” rapidly get left in the clothes pile at the end of the bed. If you are charming and good looking women will practically fight to fuck you. Male athletes, and successful athletes of either gender in general live in completely different sexual world than you do re access and availability. ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/79 "2012-08-12T07:24:54Z")
> [@TheChileanBlob](#): > > Ummm…you might want to look into a colorblindness test. > > It’s the other way around. Sorry, I get confused frequently. In Canada, like the Soviet Union and other similar places, red is the left wing party. (Although to liven it up, we have Orange for extreme left wing, so it’s good I’m not trying to comment on Ireland.) > [@Ulfreida](#): > > I didn’t know Canada even had news stories. This is exciting. We don’t and it’s not. That’s why we know TMI about the USA. > [@FuzzyOgre](#): > > It was never an issue to raise in interviews because most have been Catholics. Non-catholic voters(as a whole) never made it an issue in the past either, and we crafted a society where people didnt polarize on the issue. Actually, I suspect the english ones have been various flavours of protestant, except the ones from Quebec. But King? Deifenbaker? Even MacDonald, etc. The point is religion is nowhere near the focus and polarizing issue it seems to be in the USA. Juries in Catholic Quebec failed to convict Dr. Morgentaler repeatedly, which eventually overthrew Canada’s abortion laws, yet nobody is up in arms, the anti-abortion groups get little traction. Fundamentalist groups are very marginal. Nobody seriously expects textbooks to mention creationism rather than evolution. > [@DrDeth](#): > > You don’t follow news from around the globe much, do you? Yeah, I meant in the civilized world; Saudi Arabia was meant to be sarcasm. I don’t see any such obsession in news from Britain, Scandinavia, France, Italy, Spain, whatever… > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by \*\*Filbert \*\* > I don’t think the actual _being_ a virgin is odd, but making a big thing out of it, like it’s some amazing accomplishment, does strike me as something a bit weird. > > It’s like someone boasting that they’ve never eaten eggs in their life- I mean, it’s not doing any harm to eschew eggs, but it’s a bit bizarre to expect everyone to be impressed. And even more bizarre if anyone is. This is probably the issue at discussion. What you do in your private life is your own business. Making you private life public usually displays an agenda. Practicing is your own business and perfectly Ok. I was raised with the notion that excessive public displays of faith may be more hypocritical, boastful, and prideful rather than sincere… Like the Pharisees, “Holier than thou”. ---
**Author:** ![Ele\_the\_Stoic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ele\_the\_Stoic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ele_the_Stoic)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2012, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170/80 "2012-08-12T07:41:22Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Then her obsession with her sport to the exclusion of other important aspects of life (not clubbing specifically, but socializing with her peers) is a psychological issue. Deciding you don’t want to have sex is a psychological issue? Damn, you learn something new every day. Just because someone doesn’t agree with you about how to live one’s life, or hold aspects of their life to the same value as you, doesn’t make them stupid / psychologically ill. And strangely enough, it’s possible to socialize with your peers, even if they’re of the opposite sex (!), without jumping into bed with them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-idea-of-a-thirty-year-old-virgin-athelete-genuinely-play-well-in-america/631170.md?page=5)