# Does the military punish active members for the remarks of their spouses? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 30, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102 "2007-04-30T00:02:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/1 "2007-04-30T00:02:28Z")
In [this article](http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/29/army.increase.ap/index.html), an unidentified spouse of a man serving in Irag had the following dialogue with the new Army chief of staff, Gen. George Casy: > [@](#): > > A woman in the group asked Casey if her husband’s deployments would stop getting longer. She said they used to last for six months in the 1990s but then started lasting nine months and 12 months. Two weeks ago, she heard the Army’s announcement that deployments would be extended as long as 15 months. > > “Do you honestly foresee this spiral, in effect, stopping?” she asked. > > Casey said the Army wants to keep deployments to 15 months, but “I cannot look at you in the eye and guarantee that it would not go beyond.” While not identified in the article there’s no doubt she’d be easily identified by the General’s staff members at the event. When a spouse asks this kind of difficult embarassing question of the brass, are there ever negative repercussions for the soldiers in the field? Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/2 "2007-04-30T00:58:08Z")
I’m not in the military, I’ve never played a member of the military on television, but I grew up in a household with a father who was in the military. I can’t answer your question specifically, I don’t really know if those kinds of comments would make their way to soldiers in the field. I doubt her husband is going to see any reprecussions. That said, the actions of wives could hurt the careers of their husbands. My mother had the opportunity to go to the USSR in the 80s but decided not to because it could have damaged my father’s clearance level. (I think the issue was having the trip approved by the State Dept. or something) Office gossip existed, and rumors of a wife screwing around, using drugs, or being an all around bad person could reflect poorly on her husband. While I don’t think he’d be officially punished for her actions he might have a hard time with promotions or good assignments. This was the 80s though. Maybe things have changed. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/3 "2007-04-30T07:11:47Z")
Not the same things but,. I worked with a woman who was in the CIA for years. She was moving up the ranks and had a good job she loved. Her husband was kind of a fuck up. He was always getting into fights at the bar, getting put in jail for this or that. The woman ended up losing her higher security because of it and at the end of the day was asked to leave. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/4 "2007-04-30T07:39:21Z")
anecdote: My husband (active duty Air Force) was working 12 hour shifts for three weeks with no days off, including a trip to the philippines. His boss called our house to call him in on what was going to be his first day off (they’re supposed to get comp time after trips like that). I answered the phone and said “Is he _ever_ going to get a day off?” Not really bitchy, but I guess obviously displeased. Now his boss teases him about his wife having a voodoo doll of him (the boss) and the situation with the time off has improved. He would get in trouble if I did something illegal, though, or if our (non-existent) kids got into legal trouble. I also don’t think I would be doing him any favors if I actively protested his working conditions, which aren’t really that bad most of the time. One of the army wives I know says that when the supervision gets overzealous with the working hours of their husbands, all the wives get together and “take care of it.” I’m not really sure what that means, but it sounded like they go to the company comander and complain. There are rules about how much time off troops are suposed to get after TDYs and deployments, and how much time they’re suposed to get in between shifts. They aren’t always followed, but the rules do exist. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/5 "2007-04-30T07:43:59Z")
From what I’ve seen in the houses of friends of mine whose parents were in the (Spanish) military, the wives don’t go see the commander. They have coffee with the commander’s wife. If the commander is unmarried and doesn’t have his mother or a daughter of appropiate age living with him, things get a lot trickier; apparently in that case they get rerouted through the wife of either the second-in-command or the senior NCO. This was back when the Spanish military was all-male, I expect female commanders may be getting invited for coffee in person 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/6 "2007-04-30T07:54:34Z")
[QUOTE=Cartooniverse] In [this article](http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/29/army.increase.ap/index.html), an unidentified spouse of a man serving in Irag [/QUOTE] Nobody really cares about the troops serving in Irag, or what their wives are doing. With all the media attention Iraq is getting right now, I’d be surprised if anyone even gives Irag a second thought these days. (what makes it especially funny to me is that “p” and “g” aren’t even close on the keyboard) ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/7 "2007-04-30T10:23:59Z")
:smack: > [@Renee](#): > > I also don’t think I would be doing him any favors if I actively protested his working conditions, which aren’t really that bad most of the time. This was my point. You see, it’s all over the news: the standard deployments are being lengthened and yet again lengthened. It’s gone from 6 months to 12 to 15 and there are rumors it may not be held to 15 months. I cannot imagine how brutal this is for military families, especially ones with a member who is re-deployed very soon after returning from a deployment. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/8 "2007-04-30T10:34:25Z")
[QUOTE=Cartooniverse] :This was my point. You see, it’s all over the news: the standard deployments are being lengthened and yet again lengthened. It’s gone from 6 months to 12 to 15 and there are rumors it may not be held to 15 months. I cannot imagine how brutal this is for military families, especially ones with a member who is re-deployed very soon after returning from a deployment. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but…that’s different. We’re here in Okinawa, living together in a nice place where most people are pretty happy to be. We scuba dive on the weekends and can see whales migrating through the South China Sea from our backyard. For the most part, he works regular shifts, although not always. Like in any workplace, it helps not give your boss any more crap than necessary, including having your wife calling him up and bitching at him. BUT…if he was going to Iraq and being left there for longer and longer periods of time, you bet your ass I would complain. I probably wouldn’t have a way to complain to someone in his immediate chain of command, so it would be very unlikely that he would face repercussions, but I would certainly be complaining and organizing protests ( or whatever) to the people who actually have control over how long those guys (and girls) are over there. Those people would not know my husband personally, and wouldn’t likely have the time to find him and make him miserable. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/9 "2007-04-30T11:13:57Z")
I know of one individual whose wife slapped a PO1 and an Admiral’s wife on the same day. The husband was a squadron XO (at the time a Commander) and he later advanced to Squadron CO and finally retired as a Captain. This was at an overseas base, too. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/10 "2007-04-30T11:22:18Z")
Editing window timed out on me! Currently (for the last 15 years at least), the main idea with “dependent misconduct” is to issue “administrative actions” against the family member, not against the military member. One such administrative action is withdrawal of command sponsorship in an overseas area or restriction from a military base in the US. It’s easily arguable that such action also, in effect, punishes the military member as he or she will incur extra expenses due to that action, such as rent for off-base quarters, shopping off-base, etc. If the dependent misconduct is actually a crime under local law (including overseas local law), then the family member will face prosecution by local authorities. Currently, there’s one or two cases making the way through the South Korean legal system in which the accused is a military dependent. ---
**Author:** ![Common\_Tater](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/common_tater/32/13846_2.png) [@Common\_Tater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Common_Tater)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/11 "2007-04-30T12:07:02Z")
Short answer is the military is a lot different today than just a few decades ago - the brass has recognized the demographics have changed. Most (at least the Army) soldiers are married and have a family. Leaders recognize that spouses are just as much “in the army” as the soldier in many areas - the days of single soldier conscripts living in barracks (Beetle Bailey) are gone. Family support group networks are very well organized, so I suspect the answer to the question today is “Maybe” where formerly it would have been “probably.” Some spouses have been known to “wear” their active-duty counterparts rank, and I’m certain in any case it’s not good form to annoy or harass them. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/12 "2007-04-30T13:06:31Z")
[QUOTE=Rigamarole] Nobody really cares about the troops serving in Irag, or what their wives are doing. With all the media attention Iraq is getting right now, I’d be surprised if anyone even gives Irag a second thought these days. (what makes it especially funny to me is that “p” and “g” aren’t even close on the keyboard) [/QUOTE] Is your reference to the “p” key an example of Gaudere’s Law? Did you mean the “q” key? Sailboat ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/13 "2007-04-30T14:18:21Z")
The quick answer is no, they don’t punish you for remarks your spouse makes. Especially in the case of the OP. The question that was quoted in the article came during a question and answer session with spouses. I think Gen Casey was expecting to get questions during a Q&A. I’m sure he was expecting questions about deployment from spouses. I bet he expected that to be the first question. The idea of punishment doesn’t even enter into it. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2007, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/14 "2007-04-30T18:14:50Z")
[QUOTE=Sailboat] Is your reference to the “p” key an example of Gaudere’s Law? Did you mean the “q” key? Sailboat [/QUOTE] Haha, yes. Damn Gaudere. All those little “circle with a line going down one side” letters look alike anyway. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/15 "2007-05-01T02:39:21Z")
[QUOTE=Common Tater] Some spouses have been known to “wear” their active-duty counterparts rank, and I’m certain in any case it’s not good form to annoy or harass them. YMMV. [/QUOTE] I happen to have told off in no uncertain terms the wife of my husbands CO on the USS Spadefish. She was not at all pleased at me telling her that we [in the wives club] didn’t have to do what _she_ wanted all the time because she didn’t have the commission, her husband did, and I for one did not want to waste a day off from work seeing the damned pound puppies movie. I had been trying to fit in, so taking one day a month off [well, trading shifts for it anyway] was my option at the time. After that crap, I decided to opt out and instead to make brownie points with the command we invited single squids home for holiday dinners. _spousal support activities make brownie points for the military member unofficially, just like if I mouth off it may not be officially sanctioned it would get remembered by his command_ ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2007, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-military-punish-active-members-for-the-remarks-of-their-spouses/402102/16 "2007-05-01T02:54:50Z")
[QUOTE=Monty] …If the dependent misconduct is actually a crime under local law (including overseas local law), then the family member will face prosecution by local authorities. Currently, there’s one or two cases making the way through the South Korean legal system in which the accused is a military dependent. [/QUOTE] Have military dependents ever actually been included under military law?