# Does the person that you’re kissing look different when close up? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 21, 2022, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-person-that-you-re-kissing-look-different-when-close-up/968335 "2022-07-21T17:48:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2022, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-person-that-you-re-kissing-look-different-when-close-up/968335/1 "2022-07-21T17:48:10Z")
And is this why people need to close their eyes when kissing? I’ve noticed this my whole adult life. We’re almost certainly attracted to anyone we kiss in an intimate way. And from a young age (at least here) we’re “taught” to close our eyes when kissing/making out. But over time, I certainly began opening my eyes for short periods (not constantly like a psycho!😉), and what I noticed is that, almost invariably, the woman I’m kissing looks like a totally different person from close up. Now, once the relationship reaches a sufficient duration, I no longer notice. But certainly at the onset, I always experience this phenomenon. And sometimes, I don’t like the close-up version and have to back away for a bit, before resuming the activities. Anyone else experience this, and is this the reason that eye-closing is the standard operating procedure? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2022, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-person-that-you-re-kissing-look-different-when-close-up/968335/2 "2022-07-21T18:17:29Z")
I suspect it’s simply that we instinctively blink or flinch or close our eyes whenever _anything_ comes too close to them (which would include the other person’s face when we’re kissing)—to protect them, and because it’s hard to focus on something _that_ close up anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2022, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-person-that-you-re-kissing-look-different-when-close-up/968335/3 "2022-07-21T19:41:39Z")
Sorry, I didn’t mean when you’re literally face-to-face or lip-to-lip, but more like the 6-12 inch range. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2022, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-person-that-you-re-kissing-look-different-when-close-up/968335/4 "2022-07-23T07:41:39Z")
You close your eyes so you aren’t distracted by other things and can focus on the sensations of the kiss. I don’t think people necessarily look any different. ---
**Author:** ![Moonrise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonrise/32/14764_2.png) [@Moonrise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonrise)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2022, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-person-that-you-re-kissing-look-different-when-close-up/968335/5 "2022-07-23T10:46:33Z")
I think I see what you mean. Could it be the intensity of the moment that makes you both different ? You perceive things differently AND her features change slightly, all due to the emotion ? ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2022, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-person-that-you-re-kissing-look-different-when-close-up/968335/6 "2022-07-23T10:55:08Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > I didn’t mean when you’re literally face-to-face or lip-to-lip, but more like the 6-12 inch range. Perhaps you need glasses! It sounds like you don’t realize that some of the people you kiss are ugly until you get within a foot of them. ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2022, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-person-that-you-re-kissing-look-different-when-close-up/968335/7 "2022-07-23T11:24:52Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > But over time, I certainly began opening my eyes for short periods (not constantly like a psycho!😉), and what I noticed is that, almost invariably, the woman I’m kissing looks like a totally different person from close up. My husband always keeps his eyes open, even if it’s dark. So when I open my eyes to see him, it’s really intense, because he’s so close. Of course, now that we’re getting older, it’s difficult to focus at that distance. 🙂 There’s the cliche about staring into one another’s eyes, but I think most people don’t really do it. So I would say he doesn’t look different - I feel different, because I notice more how much he’s focusing on me. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2022, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-person-that-you-re-kissing-look-different-when-close-up/968335/8 "2022-07-23T12:10:11Z")
I don’t close my eyes when I kiss. Never have. Never occurred to me that it was weird. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2022, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-person-that-you-re-kissing-look-different-when-close-up/968335/9 "2022-07-23T12:25:27Z")
Eh I mean, I notice the make up more but I wouldn’t say they look different.