# Does the school have the right to know why your kid was absent? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2012, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117 "2012-12-05T20:27:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/21 "2012-12-05T23:04:30Z")
> [@Lizard](#): > > …parents who blow off sending their kid to school without a good reason… Well, for my own part I was talking about _with good reason_. The question is just whether it is right that the school, rather than the parent, should be the judge of what constitutes a good reason. I find it somewhat interesting that several people speak piously about the parents’ _duty_ to adhere to the requirements of the school–but apparently find no problem with _lying_ to give simply the appearance of such adherence. How is that better than telling the school honestly that I as parent have something more important, perhaps of greater educational value, planned for my kid on this day? ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/22 "2012-12-05T23:09:35Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > I find it somewhat interesting that several people speak piously about the parents’ _duty_ to adhere to the requirements of the school–but apparently find no problem with _lying_ to give simply the appearance of such adherence. How is that better than telling the school honestly that I as parent have something more important, perhaps of greater educational value, planned for my kid on this day? Because at some point, most adults realize when they’re dealing with a bureaucracy that it’s better for everyone involved to just give the stupid institutional brain-dead monster what it needs to function, and get on with your life as usual. ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/23 "2012-12-05T23:13:14Z")
My mother always complied, every time I skipped or was late for school. I had in excess of 300 “dentist appointments” in high school, many ending perfectly for me to get to school 15 minutes late! When I went back to talk to an old teacher a few years ago, the secretary remembered me and we had a laugh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/24 "2012-12-05T23:14:06Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > Because at some point, most adults realize when they’re dealing with a bureaucracy that it’s better for everyone involved to just give the stupid institutional brain-dead monster what it needs to function, and get on with your life as usual. Fine, if that’s what works for you. But let’s not then speak righteously of the school system’s “rights.” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/25 "2012-12-05T23:21:21Z")
Teacher here. We keep meticulous attendance records as The Commonwealth requires us to do. If a kid misses too much school he does not receive credit for that grading period. That sure plays holy hell with little things like graduating. Parents who don’t care much about school seem to find a new enthusiasm for the whole enterprise after a trip to the magistrate and a few hundred dollars in fines. You want to decide which days are school days and which aren’t? Home school. Everybody concerned will be happier, for now at least. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/26 "2012-12-05T23:23:09Z")
[QUOTE=Peremensoe] Fine, if that’s what works for you. But let’s not then speak righteously of the school system’s “rights.” [/QUOTE] I don’t lie to the school and my kid always has a valid reason for missing school, so I get to talk about their rights, right? Because I believe they \*do \*have rights. When they’re responsible for the safety and well being of several hundred kids, then parents \*do \*have a responsibility to ensure their kids attend or explain why they aren’t attending. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/27 "2012-12-05T23:26:38Z")
How would a school be held responsible for the safety of a child whose parent had notified the school in advance would not be present on a given day? ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/28 "2012-12-05T23:27:25Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Fine, if that’s what works for you. But let’s not then speak righteously of the school system’s “rights.” Eh, I’ve got no dog in this one anyway - schools getting uppity about kids toeing arbitrary lines is one of the major reasons I’m planning to homeschool if I ever procreate. I do think that it’s entirely possible to realize the base reason why the school HAS a particular rule, to know that in general it’s a good idea (making sure kids have actively involved parents who aren’t just letting them run wild, and making sure that the school gets it’s needed funding) and _at the same time_, realize that the applications of that rule are a little invasive in general, and occasionally misapplied in specific, and then simply modifying your behavior to take that into account. The school system just isn’t set up (and is never going to be set up) so that you can add your name to the “I’m a good parent and I think that _insert your real reason Jr is skipping school_ is a useful addition to my child’s education and socialization” list. Knowing that, why is it so hard to say - “ok, good basic idea to prevent truancy, but as a parent, I’m better equipped to know what’s best for my own individual kid, so let’s do our thing, and not needlessly screw over the system while we’re at it?” ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/29 "2012-12-05T23:32:30Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > The school system just isn’t set up ( **and is never going to be set up** ) so that you can add your name to the “I’m a good parent and I think that _insert your real reason Jr is skipping school_ is a useful addition to my child’s education and socialization” list. I’m a little more hopeful than that, actually, though I know it won’t come in time for my kids. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/30 "2012-12-05T23:33:00Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > How would a school be held responsible for the safety of a child whose parent had notified the school in advance would not be present on a given day? Exactly. I can agree that the school has a “right” to know \*\*that \*\*my child is going to be absent and that they are under my supervision. I don’t extend that “right” to knowledge of the _reason_, unless they suspect neglect or abuse (and even then, it’s not their right, but the right of DCFS to investigate). And so I extend them the same respect they extend me - press the issue, and I’ll lie if I want to. ---
**Author:** ![solosam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@solosam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solosam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/31 "2012-12-05T23:38:14Z")
Seeing as sending your child to school is the law in most places, I think asking why they miss school is the LEAST you should expect. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/32 "2012-12-05T23:42:11Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > Put me in the group with your friend, OP. So long as a _parent_ ( or legal guardian) makes the call or sends a note, then there is no reason for the school to need to know more. The child was not cutting, nor is the absence “unexcused”. That is absent without reason, not absent without a “good” reason. Hell, at my kids old school an absence was excused for medical illness only with a doctors note. My note or call that he’s vomiting or feverish? Not good enough for an excused absence. $25 copays to get an excused absence. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/33 "2012-12-05T23:42:35Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > How would a school be held responsible for the safety of a child whose parent had notified the school in advance would not be present on a given day? As has been explained before. The school can and does make judgements based on the number of unexplained absences, which can and does result in visits to court. If a parent refuses to explain why their child is absent, the school is more likely to assume there is a problem and instigate further action. If you are generally a bad parent, this is a good thing and may protect your child from abuse or neglect. If you are generally a good parent, this is a waste of resources for the school and court. TLDR: Someone fucking with the school system out of an inflated sense of entitlement, looks the same as a neglectful parent when a beauracrat only has a list of unexplained absences to go by. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/34 "2012-12-06T00:24:48Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > If a parent refuses to explain why their child is absent, the school is more likely to assume there is a problem and instigate further action. And that “problem” is that Gladys Kravitz works for the school. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/35 "2012-12-06T00:32:10Z")
The school is responsible to the state. ‘Gladys’ can be fired for not reporting if there really is a problem and she hasn’t reported the obvious signs. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/36 "2012-12-06T00:37:56Z")
And the teachers are responsible for performance - they can get fired if they can’t get the kids to pass standardized tests, which is darn hard when parents are pulling them out of school. If parents don’t want to hold the schools responsible for outcomes, then the school doesn’t need to know. But apparently, we do want to hold the school responsible for outcomes - which means that they have responsibility for having your child in school - which means that you need to tell them why they aren’t, and they get to decide if that reason is good enough or not. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/37 "2012-12-06T00:42:10Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > The school is responsible to the state. ‘Gladys’ can be fired for not reporting if there really is a problem and she hasn’t reported the obvious signs. QFT. The state has mandatory attendance laws. Districts have attendance officers whose primary job is to track student attendance, follow up on irregularities, and make sure the district is in compliance with state law. If the district is not in compliance, bad things happen. I’ll say it again. If The Man is keeping you down with all this, then home school. Alternatively, you could make this your cause and petition your state legislators to change the law because requiring excuses for absence is, like, harshing your mellow and stifling your personhood and demeaning your autonomy. And shit. The arguments presented so far in this thread have been so commanding that I can’t see how you’d not get your way. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/38 "2012-12-06T00:43:21Z")
> [@Enkel](#): > > Are there truancy laws where your friend lives?..If the kid misses too many school days in a state with truancy laws… then she’ll discover what ‘undermining authority’ is when she’s prosecuted for not sending her kid to school. > [@Skara\_Brae](#): > > I know of a woman who refused to make her kids go to school. If they didn’t want to go, she didn’t make them… In some jurisdictions the _parent_ cant get arrested if their kid is a habitual truant. It happened to on of my neighbors in HS. Her son kept skipping school, and eventually she had a bench warrent issued for her arrest & spend a day in the county jail. IIRC her son ended up dropping out was he was old enough anyway. > [@TimeWinder](#): > > …and then what? He’s not excused, but you let him stay home anyway. What does the school do about it? Put it on your permenant record? His? > > I don’t have kids, but it doesn’t sound like the school has a whole lot of leverage here – they’re presumably not going to send Child Services out for a single day of parental-desired absence. > [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > I don’t think it matters much in elementary school, but unexcused absences at my son’s school (6th-12th, prep school style charter) result in no credit for any work or tests that day. My school had the same policy. Also if you missed too many days you either; had to repeat that grade, or were dropped from the rolls (basically expulsion) depending on if you were still of compulsory school age. ---
**Author:** ![Enkel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Enkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkel)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/39 "2012-12-06T00:46:50Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > How is that better than telling the school honestly that I as parent have something more important, perhaps of greater educational value, planned for my kid on this day? You can tell them that. It would be an unexcused absence. Based on state or local law, you can have a certain number of unexcused absences each year. Also, the child is stuck playing catchup for the missed work and won’t get the benefit of what ever in-class instruction goes on… but, hey… when twinkle-tootsie gets low grades and only qualifies for the local community college, mom will just accuse the school of not properly educating her special snowflake. That there are some people who think nothing of keeping kids home for reasons that I consider abusive. I’ve known adults who keep their kids from school to either work on the farm (occasionally is okay, but not a whole harvest season)… or worse, I’ve known a single parent who used her tweener daughter as a free babysitter. That kid needed to get an education so that she didn’t end up like her mother. Keeping a 15yo home to babysit an infant is not what I’d consider acceptable… BUT, the single mom would have laughed and said the girl was learning about life and how much work a baby is so that she didn’t have her own babies… blah, blah, blah… If people are offended at having to explain a child’s absence, they should just sign up for homeschooling. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117/40 "2012-12-06T00:52:54Z")
> [@Enkel](#): > > Are there truancy laws where your friend lives? > > \ > > If the kid misses too many school days in a state with truancy laws… then she’ll discover what ‘undermining authority’ is when she’s prosecuted for not sending her kid to school. I don’t know about truancy laws in NY, but I do know her kids miss school maybe a couple times a years and it’s always for good reason. I get her point that she’s a good parent and she feels she shouldn’t have to explain these very few absences, but I also don’t understand why you wouldn’t just say they were sick, if they actually were. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-school-have-the-right-to-know-why-your-kid-was-absent/643117.md?page=3)