# Does the term "ball & chain" imply a particular gender? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2021, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762 "2021-09-16T16:13:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/41 "2021-09-17T05:50:16Z")
Not _my_ wife. _A_ wife. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/42 "2021-09-17T05:55:23Z")
> [@SenorBeef](#): > > It’s very much boomer humor. Is there no limit to what can be blamed on boomers? This type of “humor” way precedes the boomer generation. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/43 "2021-09-17T07:09:25Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > > [@SenorBeef](#): > > > > It’s very much boomer humor. > > Is there no limit to what can be blamed on boomers? This type of “humor” way precedes the boomer generation.  When used like this, I think “boomer” has lost its connection with the Baby Boomer generation specifically. “Boomer humor” is just humor that was common in earlier generations, but is considered cringe, problematic, and possibly offensive today. It’s humor that is not merely seen as outdated, but also uncool, with possible unfortunate implications. Contrast this with dad jokes, which also tend to be outdated humor, but people find harmless but ironically funny. That said, considering the reactions that term has had here, I would not tend to use it–especially since the previous posts had already conveyed the underlying concepts well enough. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/44 "2021-09-17T11:10:22Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Not _my_ wife. _A_ wife 👍 …… ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/45 "2021-09-17T13:25:44Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > I picture Fred Flintstone calling his mother-in-law one, but I may be mistaken as to whether he ever did. At the very least, Barney did: [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGs70HeHs3k) ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/46 "2021-09-17T13:33:02Z")
I _have_ seen the phrase “ball and chain” used towards a man, but only when the spouse was also male. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/47 "2021-09-17T13:36:23Z")
Beat me to it! > [@kenobi\_65](#): > > I picture Fred Flintstone calling his mother-in-law one, but I may be mistaken as to whether he ever did. And I can’t find a clip, but yes, Fred was guilty too. She was leaving, and Fred told Pebbles under his breath, “Say goodbye to the nice old battle ax”. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/48 "2021-09-17T19:57:17Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > > [@panache45](#): > > > > all I think of is Janis Joplin > > > [@nightshadea](#): > > > > or social distortion… > > My reference is They Might Be Giants. > [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8au4eCVPis&ab\_channel=TheyMightBeGiants-Topic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8au4eCVPis&ab_channel=TheyMightBeGiants-Topic) Or Stan Freberg. [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj6ZYO26IOc) ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/49 "2021-09-17T21:39:09Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > When used like this, I think “boomer” has lost its connection with the Baby Boomer generation specifically. “Boomer humor” is just humor that was common in earlier generations, but is considered cringe, problematic, and possibly offensive today. Yeah, I think a reasonable interpretation nowadays might be “humor that only the elderly, i.e., primarily Boomers, still think is funny”. > [@panache45](#): > > This type of “humor” way precedes the boomer generation. And the specific expression “ball and chain” for “wife” is [attested from at least 1920](https://www.etymonline.com/word/ball%20and%20chain). ---
**Author:** ![Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/do_not_taunt/32/2968_2.png) [@Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Do_Not_Taunt)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/50 "2021-09-17T21:59:57Z")
> [@Esprise\_Me](#): > > I guess I could imagine a woman my age ironically appropriating the phrase, in the way she might jokingly tell her husband “bitch, make me a sammich!” I.e., not as a way of communicating that her husband is the nag spoiling her fun, or that she would like a sandwich, but as a playful way of mocking sexist tropes. In its original, non-ironic usage, yeah, always wife. Young people in modern days? Could go either way, but I’ve only heard it used ironically, as @Esprise_Me articulated perfectly in the quoted post. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/51 "2021-09-17T22:09:38Z")
Let’s try to give credit where it’s due. “Ball and Chain” was originally sung and written by Big Mama Thornton. Joplin copied her version. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/IJlBo5KJ3b4/hqdefault.jpg "Big Mama Thornton 1970") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJlBo5KJ3b4) ---
**Author:** ![Mallard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/52 "2021-09-17T22:37:16Z")
> [@F.U.Shakespeare](#): > > Beat me to it! > > > [@kenobi\_65](#): > > > > I picture Fred Flintstone calling his mother-in-law one, but I may be mistaken as to whether he ever did. > > And I can’t find a clip, but yes, Fred was guilty too. She was leaving, and Fred told Pebbles under his breath, “Say goodbye to the nice old battle ax”. Ball & chain, clearly that’s a domineering wife. “Battle Axe” that was my grade 6 teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2021, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/53 "2021-09-17T23:33:58Z")
I think it originally meant the woman. Men wanted to go out and leave the woman at home to take care of the kids. She would complain and was seen as the person holding the man back from having a good time. Nowadays, I think, people apply it to men or women as one or the other in a relationship is likely to be the person who doesn’t want to go out and holds the other back. Friends will tell their friend with the stick-in-the-mud SO that their SO is the “ball-and-chain.” It is a bit dated though. ---
**Author:** ![omenran](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omenran/32/3318_2.png) [@omenran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/omenran)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/54 "2021-09-18T15:51:37Z")
I’ve also only heard “ball & chain” used to refer to a wife, never a husband. I believe that a plain reading of the phase is neutral, even if it’s useage isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/55 "2021-09-18T16:11:53Z")
My interpretation was never that the “ball and chain” was preventing the husband from going out and doing fun things. She was preventing him from going out and doing fun people. As in, if he weren’t married, he’d be sleeping around freely, but now, because of his cruel imprisonment in the bonds of matrimony, he’s not allowed any more to do what’s only natural for him. The double standard isn’t inherent to the literal meaning, but it’s definitely there in the typical usage. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/56 "2021-09-18T16:21:39Z")
I’m going with the consensus. When the term “ball and chain” is used in this context, it is overwhelmingly referring to a wife. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2021, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/57 "2021-09-18T16:47:00Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > My interpretation was never that the “ball and chain” was preventing the husband from going out and doing fun things. She was preventing him from going out and doing fun people. I disagree. It was predominantly said to other men as a reason that the husband couldn’t go out with them (or had to fight through complaints to go out with them) to the bar or ballpark or other gathering of the boys. How many men in mid-century America would complain to their friends that their wives were annoying because they couldn’t openly sleep with other women? Everything is undercut with the double standard, true. Some people must have used it as code. But the public uses of ball-and-chain referred to public fun. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2021, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/58 "2021-09-20T06:07:44Z")
Similarly, some men have referred to their wives as “SWMBO” (“She Who Must Be Obeyed”). But I’ve never seen a mention of husbands being called “HWMBO”. This, despite the ancient Biblical command to wives to obey their husbands, routinely repeated to (almost) this very day in marriage ceremonies. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2021, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/60 "2021-09-20T13:12:34Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Similarly, some men have referred to their wives as “SWMBO” (“She Who Must Be Obeyed”). The reference comes from [H. Rider Haggard](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She:_A_History_of_Adventure) by way of [Rumpole of the Bailey](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumpole_of_the_Bailey) (who referred to his wife that way). ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2021, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762/61 "2021-09-20T13:28:29Z")
I disagree too. I can’t think of a context where the ball-and-chain referred to sexual freedom. It’s a more general, “I can’t have fun anymore cause my spouse is keeping me in line/wants me home/I have responsibilities, etc. and can’t go to the bar with the boys and slam back drinks till closing time.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-term-ball-chain-imply-a-particular-gender/950762.md?page=4)