# Does "the third date rule" apply? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 4, 2002, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185 "2002-11-04T10:36:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/21 "2002-11-05T03:48:11Z")
Sedate, oxidate (bleached hair,) inundate. At some point, you just have to make a decision. “Is you is or is you ain’t my baby?” Well? –Nott ---
**Author:** ![emolson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5fc32e/32.png) [@emolson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emolson)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/22 "2002-11-05T06:51:58Z")
Well, now that you have all had your fun… I see that my original post never made it to the board. I had seen a bit of some television show where a guy/girl couple had discussed that the third date required a kiss (how quaint?). I just wondered if those on the dating scene agreed. ---
**Author:** ![In\_Conceivable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/23 "2002-11-05T14:02:44Z")
I don’t think that any date shoule “require” anything. But, if by the third date I wasn’t interested in kissing a guy there wouldn’t be a fourth. Three dates is enough to know if there is any potential for a relationship of some sort. **Cartooniverse** , did you marry her on the third date?? ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/24 "2002-11-05T14:22:22Z")
Dear Abby (I think) said that if both parties appear to be having fun, a kiss (somewhere between a peck and a tonsillectomy) is in order on the first date. I agree with that. As for sexing? When it’s right, it’s right. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/25 "2002-11-05T14:25:13Z")
> [@](#): > > I believe the rule is: it is customary to have sex on the third date. > > Incredibly silly. This is a rule? Why didn’t anyone ever tell me? Some people owe me sex! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/26 "2002-11-05T14:26:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Good lord, what is with you people? Doesn’t anyone nail a stranger in a dark alley anymore? > \*\* That’s the way I date! ---
**Author:** ![ski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@ski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ski)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/27 "2002-11-05T14:46:01Z")
The “Third Date Rule”, as I know it, is simply this: You either have sex on the third date, or there won’t be a fourth. The reasoning is that, as stated above, by the third date she (this is a guy’s rule primarily) knows if she’s ever going to sleep with you. So if there’s no sex on the third date (or earlier), she is just stringing you along for free dinners and attention. So you cut your losses after that point. It essentially revolves around the idea that if she’s not comfortable having sex with you by the third date, she may never be comfortable, and therefore the potential relationship is doomed anyway. It also prevents you from tying yourself up with one woman for months when the relationship’s not going anywhere anyway. Now, there are of course qualifiers. The dates have to actually be “dates” for one. Meeting for lunch or coffee three days in a row doesn’t really meet the intent. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/28 "2002-11-05T15:54:20Z")
If you need to know the dating rules, there is a book out, small, cheap, its called, of course, ‘The Rules’ ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/29 "2002-11-05T17:49:12Z")
**ski**? As a rule you tie up your women on the third date? My god, my daughter is NEVER going to date a skiier now. :eek: No, I didn’t marry her on the third date. She slept with me on the third date. Twenty-two year old men are sooooooo stuuuuuupid. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/30 "2002-11-05T17:57:08Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > Stated slightly differently, a woman supposedly knows by the third date whether or not she is willing to bed a man.\*\* I’m a rapid decision maker. I know within the first two minutes of meeting a man if I’d ever be willing to sleep with him… which probably explains a few of my ‘had sex on the first date’ dates. 🙂 Usually by the third date… I know if he’s good enough to meet my dad. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/31 "2002-11-05T18:15:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kiki \* > > * * * > > I’m a rapid decision maker. I know within the first two minutes of meeting a man if I’d ever be willing to sleep with him… which probably explains a few of my ‘had sex on the first date’ dates. 🙂 Usually by the third date… I know if he’s good enough to meet my dad. \*\* Kiki it is SO nice to meet you! wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait some more wait wait wait wait wait wait So. Would you like have sex? ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/32 "2002-11-05T18:33:38Z")
So Kiki… how _you_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/33 "2002-11-05T18:33:56Z")
So **Kiki** … how _you_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/34 "2002-11-05T20:14:27Z")
…sometimes it’s something as subtle as saying her name in bold font… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/35 "2002-11-05T20:28:19Z")
You’re supposed to wait until the third date? I’m odd in that I don’t date someone unless I’m totally crazy about them already…basically either I’m planning to sleep with the person immediately or never, ever will. That’s not to say I’m promiscuous - the last two men that I slept with I married. (Obviously these incidents were spaced several years apart.) 😉 And yes, this is all moot now anyway since I’m well married and done dating. Just living vicariously through all of you who have to decide yes or no by the third date. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/36 "2002-11-06T00:53:54Z")
handshake and a thank you on the first date. handshake and a peck on the cheek thank you on the second date. light kiss on the lips (closed ) on the third date. even the mention of sex before the wedding would send the datee swooning into the arms of the chaperon. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/37 "2002-11-06T01:10:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rocking chair \* > \*\* > > even the mention of sex before the wedding would send the datee swooning into the arms of the chaperon. \*\* Really? That must be one hot chaperon. But I thought menage a trios was the fourth date.😕 ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/38 "2002-11-06T12:59:13Z")
Where the hell were all the chicks that beleived in the first date rule when I was single? Oh yeah, in my bed. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/39 "2002-11-06T15:02:45Z")
The third date was when I moved my stuff in to her apartment. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2002, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185/40 "2002-11-06T23:09:43Z")
Make a date from online personal ad Kiss on first meeting date Sex and staying the night on first ‘real’ date Marry a year and a half later Worked for me and I read ‘The Rules’ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-the-third-date-rule-apply/135185.md?page=1)