# Does this married woman like me? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 21, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449 "2012-03-21T21:46:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/21 "2012-03-23T05:17:12Z")
You haven’t really described anything that couldn’t be put down to; “I’m a happily married woman, and I feel comfortable with **Ryan** , so I’ll be my natural, friendly self with him.” The head-count for the barbecue could be just that - she’ll be there, but she won’t be with anyone so you don’t need to buy burgers for them. As a married woman, she should probably be a little bit more aware that her friendliness towards single guys could be mis-interpreted and watch her boundaries. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/22 "2012-03-23T05:24:39Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > I’ve learnt the hard way not to shit where I eat You and me both, brother. I crapped in the dining room once, and Mrs. Giraffe was _not_ impressed. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/23 "2012-03-23T12:16:38Z")
Some women are just manipulative. Do you find yourself doing favors for her a lot? Are you in a position to help her get promoted at work? ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/24 "2012-03-23T12:26:45Z")
> [@Lord\_Mondegreen](#): > > I’m still getting over that your work has planned a barbecue _months_ in advance. Not only that but people need to say _now_ whether they are going. > > Here an RSVP for a BBQ would be at the most one week beforehand, but much more likely 48 hours in advance - i.e. just enough time to buy the food. > > What an organized workplace you have. It might well be that they have to book the park well in advance so why not tell people about it? I’m not sure I read into it that an RSVP was required, I just took it as normal “are you coming and who are you bringing?” type of office chatter. Back to the OP, she might be just a flirter and is having a little fun with you. Perhaps she’s already taking it as far as she wishes. My approach would be “when in doubt, don’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/25 "2012-03-23T19:54:54Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > You haven’t really described anything that couldn’t be put down to; “I’m a happily married woman, and I feel comfortable with **Ryan** , so I’ll be my natural, friendly self with him.” The head-count for the barbecue could be just that - she’ll be there, but she won’t be with anyone so you don’t need to buy burgers for them. > > As a married woman, she should probably be a little bit more aware that her friendliness towards single guys could be mis-interpreted and watch her boundaries. This is what I’m starting to be more inclined to believe, and now I feel embarrassed due to over-thinking this :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/26 "2012-03-23T20:06:14Z")
I’m not sure it matters when married people flirt, whether it’s with single folk or not. Maybe it’s just around here, but married people are MORE likely to flirt a lot, for 2 reasons. 1. Don’t have to worry about turning down anyone actually interested, 'cause hey, “I’m married” and 1. Once you’re married, flings are a lot easier…as long as it’s with someone else who’s also married. Single people expect too much; married folk know it’s just ‘on the side fling’ with no expectations. But that just might be me misinterpreting a lot of stuff. No, no, it’s not. People where I work\ were definitely like that. It was such an ‘open secret’ that even my first week, I knew who was sleeping with who, 'cause they did nothing to hide it. But gods forbid you bring up the fact that they were married to other people; somehow MENTIONING it was a no-no. p.s. That sounds prudish, which I am not. I have _zero_ problems with something on the side, as long as the marriage comes first and it’s equal-opportunity. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/27 "2012-03-23T20:12:00Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > But what was interesting was what happened next, I said she could bring her family with her, and I said she could take her son or husband, she hesitated said her husband probably would be working and her son wouldn’t want to go. I don’t see what’s so relevant about this point. Her husband and son could legitimately not be able to/not want to go. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2012, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/28 "2012-03-24T05:30:09Z")
Seriously, don’t. But, before you make your final decision… is she hot? ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2012, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/29 "2012-03-24T12:11:10Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > p.s. That sounds prudish, which I am not. I have _zero_ problems with something on the side, as long as the marriage comes first and it’s equal-opportunity. For the record, nothing in your post sounds remotely prudish. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2012, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/30 "2012-03-24T13:00:15Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > I’m not sure it matters when married people flirt, whether it’s with single folk or not. Maybe it’s just around here, but married people are MORE likely to flirt a lot, for 2 reasons. > > 1. Don’t have to worry about turning down anyone actually interested, 'cause hey, “I’m married” > > and > > 1. Once you’re married, flings are a lot easier…as long as it’s with someone else who’s also married. Single people expect too much; married folk know it’s just ‘on the side fling’ with no expectations. > > But that just might be me misinterpreting a lot of stuff. > > No, no, it’s not. People where I work\ were definitely like that. It was such an ‘open secret’ that even my first week, I knew who was sleeping with who, 'cause they did nothing to hide it. But gods forbid you bring up the fact that they were married to other people; somehow MENTIONING it was a no-no. > > p.s. That sounds prudish, which I am not. I have _zero_ problems with something on the side, as long as the marriage comes first and it’s equal-opportunity. Pretty much exactly what I’ve seen in my various workplaces. I do have a problem with married people screwing around, though. Not because it’s a _ **SIN!** _ so much as because you can never tell where it might lead and it just seems sloppy overall. People start out with a “this is just sex” attitude, but then the lust/passion/whatever spills over and fucks everything up. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2012, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/31 "2012-03-24T19:40:46Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > This is what I’m starting to be more inclined to believe, and now I feel embarrassed due to over-thinking this :smack: Don’t be embarrassed - I think it’s better to be aware and prepared than being caught off-guard and not know what’s going on. Married people screwing around at work ruins everything for **everyone** eventually - things go off the rails and everyone is left uncomfortable and not knowing what to say and it’s just no fun. ETA: I mean, sooner or later everyone at work finds out, especially if things do go wrong (which they seem to). ---
**Author:** ![PetW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PetW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PetW)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2012, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-married-woman-like-me/616449/32 "2012-03-24T23:12:39Z")
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