# Does this seem like a good idea? (Posting Pictures of Cheaters) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 31, 2013, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722 "2013-10-31T05:25:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/21 "2013-10-31T17:36:39Z")
And now you know why their husbands cheated on them. Bitches be crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/22 "2013-10-31T17:50:06Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > I don’t think there’s something as a serial homewrecker. These women will probably stay married to the guy that gave up so much to be with them. I’m going to read this as some kind of very dry Dutch humor. > [@Bill\_Door](#): > > Well, not to put too fine a point on it, the woman in these cases has absolutely zero responsibility to the wife. Neither life nor marriages are a courtroom. It doesn’t come down to fine points of “the contract.” The other woman/man is 100% complicit in the actions and any fallout. Not saying it applies to anyone here, but in threads about relationships and commitment, those under 30 and with less than 4 years in a committed relationship need to self-flag. Those older and with a decade or more of commitment, particularly those who have gone through a rough patch or were very close to someone who did, are also invited to hoist a marker on their comments. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/23 "2013-10-31T20:01:19Z")
Interesting comments; as usual, you guys have taken some views that I wouldn’t have thought of on my own. I think part of the draw for women to post pictures on a site like that is that women who cheat with married men (and in my opinion, they almost always know the guy is married) do a lot of damage with zero repercussions to them. They play, other people pay. This is a little bit of chickens coming home to roost for them, perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/24 "2013-10-31T20:23:12Z")
> [@Avulsed Brainstem](#): > > Those older and with a decade or more of commitment, particularly those who have gone through a rough patch or were very close to someone who did, are also invited to hoist a marker on their comments. I’m 48 and in a long term lesbian relationship that has hit many speed bumps, some very attractive people have been known to come on to me in weak moments, I say no because I am committed to my partner. If said yes that would be my responsibility, not the asker. I can step out of my relationship, I can’t be pulled out without my consent. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/25 "2013-10-31T21:06:19Z")
> [@Zombie Whisperer](#): > > What do you think? Is this a good idea? I think the site’s dumb, just like most things on the internet. It’s not as bad as “revenge porn”, but it’s in the same general category. ---
**Author:** ![Trick\_Rider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Trick\_Rider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trick_Rider)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/26 "2013-11-01T03:11:36Z")
> [@Zombie Whisperer](#): > > Interesting comments; as usual, you guys have taken some views that I wouldn’t have thought of on my own. > > I think part of the draw for women to post pictures on a site like that is that women who cheat with married men (and in my opinion, they almost always know the guy is married) do a lot of damage with zero repercussions to them. They play, other people pay. This is a little bit of chickens coming home to roost for them, perhaps. I’m not sure I’d say zero repercussions. Most people take a fairly dim view of “homewreckers”. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/27 "2013-11-01T03:20:51Z")
It’s the kind of idea that would be funny when you were drinking with your girlfriends after that cheating swine left you and you were plotting his demise and ruination. Any other time, it’s just a horrible idea. I don’t even want to click through to see the site as, while it makes a funny revenge fantasy, the fact that it exists in reality is pretty repulsive. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/28 "2013-11-01T03:46:16Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#): > > Well, not to put too fine a point on it, the woman in these cases has absolutely zero responsibility to the wife. The husband has made explicit and binding promises, but the woman in an affair with a married man has no contract with his wife. She may be cheating on her own husband, in which case breach of promise would apply. We all have a responsibility to each other to encourage honesty, rather than dishonesty ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/29 "2013-11-01T04:22:25Z")
“My wife doesn’t understand/love/shag me” or “we have an open relationship” What is the person supposed to do, call the wife to find out? Those who have formed the contract need to abide by it, those outside of it can do anything to or with either party that they (and the law) will allow. If you have an employment contract am I not allowed to offer you a job without calling your employer and checking to see if they will let you go? Or should that perhaps be something you do before you apply or after getting the offer? The partner stepping out is the homewrecker, thinking otherwise is not terribly far removed from wanting women to cover up completely in a burqa lest they tempt some poor male into straying with the cute bump on their nose. I give men more credit than that. It seems a number of ex wives feel differently but I don’t really blame them, they picked a wrong’un and nobody likes to admit that, better to blame the third party. That doesn’t mean anyone else should buy into their fantasy or that the website is in any way acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/30 "2013-11-01T04:58:10Z")
If your marriage is is such poor shape that you’ve taken to “shame” your husband’s girlie friend . . . you might consider more constructive ways to address the problems. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/31 "2013-11-01T18:07:40Z")
> [@Trick\_Rider](#): > > I’m not sure I’d say zero repercussions. Most people take a fairly dim view of “homewreckers”. True enough, but I think most “homewreckers” don’t want other people to know what they’ve been doing. This site proposes to expose them instead of allowing them to hide. > [@bengangmo](#): > > We all have a responsibility to each other to encourage honesty, rather than dishonesty I think we have a responsibility to not do more harm than we have to, too. Someone cheating with a man they know is married/committed is doing harm, and I think they need to own their part of that. > [@Thylacine](#): > > “My wife doesn’t understand/love/shag me” or “we have an open relationship” > > What is the person supposed to do, call the wife to find out? \ That’s not the worst idea ever; newsflash - people lie. 🙂 I don’t think this site is a good idea, and I wouldn’t use it myself, but the idea of everyone involved in cheating being exposed is something I can get behind. So much of cheating depends on secrecy and lying; if you knew you were going to be exposed, how would that change how people go into affairs? ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/32 "2013-11-01T18:19:12Z")
When he lies he is cheating on both the women really, why should it be ok for one victim to beat up on another victim? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/33 "2013-11-01T18:37:26Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > The other woman/man is 100% complicit in the actions and any fallout. This simply isn’t true. I read at least one case on that site where the person posting the picture of the “homewrecker” concedes that said homewrecker went into the relationship not knowing that the man was already attached. I do think that we all have some moral obligation not to fool around with married or otherwise attached people, but the cheaters, unsurprisingly, are not always honest about their own situations. It’s hard to blame someone who starts a relationship with an attached man if he never tells her that he’s attached. I agree with those in this thread who think that the site is another example of the sexual double-standard, whereby women are judged more harshly than men, even when their behavior is less problematic. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/34 "2013-11-01T18:40:01Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I don’t think this site is a good idea, and I wouldn’t use it myself, but the idea of everyone involved in cheating being exposed is something I can get behind. But “everyone” is not being exposed by this site. The cheating boyfriends and husbands are not, in the vast majority of cases, even being named, let alone having their pictures plastered up there for the whole world to see. Complete double standard. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/35 "2013-11-01T18:42:05Z")
> [@Thylacine](#): > > When he lies he is cheating on both the women really, why should it be ok for one victim to beat up on another victim? It’s not. It’s a very Maury thing to do. I always figure those kinds of people usually just end up staying together in their super unhealthy relationship anyway, and naturally keep cheating. A girl once was sending me threatening texts because we were both being cheated on, even though when I found out, I answered his phone (I had possession of the phone because he used my car and refused to return it for over a week, so I reported it stolen, he got arrested, car got returned to me with a bunch of his stuff in it which I sold to make up for the $300 towing/impound fee I was forced to pay to get my car back) when she called and made it extremely clear that I had no problem with her and just thought she had a right to know. I never took a call from his stupid ass again, and her stupid ass stayed with him and blamed me. Now, take two people like HER, and there would have been some serious Maury shit going on. ---
**Author:** ![Rollo\_Tomasi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/58956e/32.png) [@Rollo\_Tomasi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rollo_Tomasi)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/36 "2013-11-01T18:49:47Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I don’t think this site is a good idea, and I wouldn’t use it myself, but the idea of everyone involved in cheating being exposed is something I can get behind. Why is it anybody’s business who was involved in the cheating besides the parties themselves (including the spouse)? Why do they need to be “exposed”? It’s not a crime, and I see no reason to make a personal issue like this public. It doesn’t seem all that different than having someone wear a scarlet A. And of course, there’s the double standard here that’s already been touched on earlier in the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722/37 "2013-11-01T19:42:58Z")
> [@Rollo\_Tomasi](#): > > Why is it anybody’s business who was involved in the cheating besides the parties themselves (including the spouse)? Why do they need to be “exposed”? \ Why not? In the plugged-in world we live in, everybody wants to know everything about everybody. If you’re doing things you don’t want other people to know about, don’t do them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-seem-like-a-good-idea-posting-pictures-of-cheaters/672722.md?page=1)